"I Don't Feel Loved In My Marriage"

As I was scrolling through social media, I came across a blog with these words, " I don't feel loved in my marriage so I am leaving it."

My heart literally broke in two because I wondered how many people were reading this blog and forming an opinion of their marriage because at some point or another, you have felt that way in your marriage. I also wondered how many single people were reading the blog and forming an unrealistic idea of marriage. I'm currently writing a book on marriage so I figured I would share a snippet of a chapter because that blog literally lined up with what I was talking about in that chapter.

How many times has my husband felt unloved by me in the about 10 years we've been together?
Too many to count. 

How many times have I felt unloved by my husband?
Too many to count. 

Is my marriage headed towards divorce?
Absolutely not.

How many times has God felt unloved by you?
Too many times to count

How many times have you ran from Jesus?
Too many times to count. 

As a believer,  love the example of Jesus. He gives me perspective on every relationship, including my marriage. What happens when Jesus doesn't feel loved by you? What if He just left you? What if He just quit on you? Does Jesus make you happy 100%? It's impossible to make you happy all of the time because we are made up of this flesh, carnal nature. One minute we are living for Jesus and the next minute, we think about and want things that we know that we can't have.

 Listen to me - to everyone who is single or married and never forget this:

Just because you don't at times feel loved in your marriage, it is not an excuse to leave it. The danger in leaving your marriage for someone who "loves" you better is that you may get more of what you think you need in order to be happy while compromising in another area. He may touch you more, clean up around the house and work a job but he may also be touching another woman. Your husband was a great leader, he just didn't use words of affirmation. The next man will post about you all day and night and affirm you but that's about it. He's a terrible leader and spiritually, you have to lead the marriage because he gives you the control. Maybe your last husband had no job and your new boo is a lawyer. But instead of coming home to you he works and travels non-stop. Any free time he does have, he goes to the bar with his buddies. Pick your poison. Every marriage gets to work OUT their marriage to make it work. There's GOING to be conflict along the way. The question before I do is, "Find out his issue and see if you can live with it for the rest of your life." Because.. it may never change. But, I am talking to those of you who are currently married.

If our measuring stick for leaving your marriage is "I don't feel loved" then it's simply NOT good enough. Yes, you may be going through a tough time. Yes, your husband may not understand you, Yes you may be frustrated but do you remember your vows? "For Better or For Worse" will get tested. No HUMAN on this entire earth is going to be able to make you happy 100% of the time. The fight you're fighting is a spiritual one, not a physical one. Your enemy is NOT your spouse, its the devil. Some of you are in marriages right now and it's a pretty healthy marriage, you just have some areas where you're not happy. You've grown WEARY. You constantly wait for him to "change" but he never does. So, then do you just leave? So, you have this good man but this man doesn't meet up to the image of who you think he should be in your head?

Who told you that he has to be some other image?

Social media? Comparing your marriage to another marriage? Your family? A friend who recently divorced and bashes all marriages? Your messy single friends or that one single friend that would love to be married to your man?

Maybe it's not your spouse? Maybe it's you? Maybe you're completely unlovable. Maybe you're constantly psychoanalyzing him, trying to be his mama, maybe you treat him like trash and disrespect him. Maybe you nag and criticize him into a corner.

No, I cannot cheer you on for leaving.

Please hear my heart that I do understand cases where there's divorce and it's unwanted. Maybe your husband left you and ran off with some 18 year old. Maybe he cheated so many times or maybe he has physically abused you to the point where you are FORCED to leave. Now, I am not talking to those cases. That is called abandonment and it's NEVER ok for him to treat you that way. I am specifically talking to men that actually come home to their wives, he works an honest job, goes to church and he is TRYING to be good to you. You may not see all of the effort that you want to see, but you see SOME of it.

Isn't it crazy how we focus on what our spouse is doing but we don't make them 100% happy? Kinda hypocritical right? (And, I'm talking to myself too)

How do I know that you may not be the most loveable person at times?

Because I was her.

I was the most complaining, "higher than thou" wife. My husband felt like nothing that he did was good enough for me. That nagging, complaining, discontent spirit from my single days showed its ugly face in my marriage.

So, what do I do when I don't feel loved in my marriage?

I love.
Let me challenge you with this:

1 Corinthians 13:1-10 tells us:
"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love."

Did you read verse 4? It says that Love is PATIENT.

What does patience mean?
The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset:

Whoa.
So, I'm supposed to love without getting upset? But HE troubled me. He made me suffer. He ignored me! He won't get a job! He won't touch me and he knows my love language is TOUCH. He really hurt me in the past. He cheated on me. YES, I forgive him and we moved on but I have a hard time being patient with him.

Love doesn't demand it's own way. 

"You don't LISTEN. I am more spiritual. I am better with money. I am a better leader. I have more schooling. Let's do it THIS way."

It's it amazing that we are serving in the church, helping people and doing all of these things but we don't love the person that we share a bed with? That is your first ministry. Your HOME ministry. You hate your own husband. How can we say that we really love Jesus but we hate the one we are ONE with?

I like 1 John 4:20, it says "If someone says, "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?"

But Heather, my husband ain't saved. He hasn't cheated or anything but he won't turn to Jesus. I want to leave!

1 Peter 3:1 tells us, "In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by your quiet and gentle spirit."

I can tell you this. With every test of "love" I have passed, GOD HAS REWARDED ME. In those times where I wanted to leave my marriage or run - I STAYED and ENDURED and TRUSTED God to change ME and my spouse. (Guess that's what happens when two alpha personalities marry!) AND I watched God grow our love, our ministry, and our life anoint us for our obedience. I have watched the Lord use my husband to reveal my heart and weaknesses. I have watched myself change and get better because of those tough times.

It takes NOTHING to quit on your marriage. Your marriage will force you to grow, mature, develop and CHANGE. If your marriage has grown apart, it's because you let it. Don't give satan an open door. Don't let him in to destroy your marriage. Do your part, God will reward you!

If you're fighting with your spouse now - text him right now and go get your marriage back. Don't give the devil an open door into your life or marriage. Not now, not tomorrow or the next day.

I challenge you right now to write out 10 things that you love about your spouse. Starting, now. Focus on those things vs. what he isn't doing.

I see God healing marriages right now. I see restoration in broken marriages right now. I see hope again.

In Jesus name.

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,
Heather Lindsey

1. The 2017 Pinky Promise Conference was EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like literally. Here's the night I taught on "Running From God." Registration is open now! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

2. Ah, I'm SO excited that the Pinky Promise Movement page has a new look! Check it out HERE. 

3. ALSO, the Pinky Promise Boutique has a new look too PLUS a ton of cute MODEST, FAB, CLOTHES, jewelry, promise rings, clothes, journals, etc! Check it out HERE.

4. Be sure to check my calendar to see if I'm in your city soon! (under Calendar)

5. Are you in Atlanta? Come and visit our church! We are in Sandy Springs! The Gathering Oasis Church - we meet at the Galloway Private School in the Amphitheatre. 215 W Wieuca Rd NW Atlanta, GA 30327 every Sunday at 10AM EST.

5. My New Book, Silent Seasons was on the Amazon Best Seller's List as the #1 in New Releases and in Religious for 5 weeks! ahh!! Find it HERE.  or on Amazon/Kindle/Ibooks/Audio Book.

6. My dear friends, Havilah Cunnington and Lisa Bevere have an amazing 12 part series titled #MomOfMen - teaching you how to raise godly children. Sign up now and recieve a FREE e-book. You can sign up HERE.

Our wedding day :) 8/14/10

Tough Season? What Are You Saying?

Yes, your situation may look like a hot mess.

Yes, you may be straight going through it.

Yes, your heart may be broken.

It's true - you may not understand what is going on in your life.

You may have just lost your job.

Your husband may have left you while you were completely faithful to him.

It may seem like you have no purpose.

It may seem like everyone has forgotten about you.

It may seem like you're at a dead end job today.

It may seem like the only thing that appeared to be comfortable was your past.

It may seem like everyone is leaving you.

It may seem like your life is a failure.

Regardless of what you are "feeling" today, I came to ask you, "What are you saying in the midst of it all?" Yes, you may get crazy thoughts about yourself based on what you can see, but the reality is that you have a choice. You can either sit and believe the devil's lies, or you can call him the LIAR that he is and decide to trust God through this situation.

Your good words and thoughts can literally trigger happy endorphins to be released in your body that make you physically feel better. Who knew that we can actually control those crazy thoughts that come through our heart? We don't have to accept the lies of the enemy, most of us just choose to believe him. If the mailman tried to drop off a package of live rattlesnakes, I'm quite sure that you wouldn't sign for the package - but sadly, many of us are signing for a package of negative words every single day.

On this earth, we will have tribulation, we will go through hard times, we will get frustrated. You may even be justified in your complaining because you have small kids,  you hate your job, or you've been single and saved for a longggg time and you are straight tired. Regardless of your season in life, I want you to remember this scripture:

Proverbs 18:21
The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

Whoa.

My words can bring LIFE or death to a situation?? And there are consequences to what I SAY? I believe that we would be MUCH more careful of what we said if we knew that it could HINDER where God is taking us. Some of us have become so used to complaining and grumbling that we literally WOKE up this morning, complained and fussed while we went into our prayer time. Then after fussing at God for about 30 minutes, we got dressed and went to work, fussing. The traffic, the train ride, the this, the that. THEN, we got to work and we are complaining.. until we opened up this blog. :)

Either we are going to have a great attitude today and decide to trust God or we are going to look exactly like this world and complain. YOU HAVE A CHOICE. 

Let's look at another scripture:

Matthew 12:36
"I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak."

Whoa.

EVERY WORD. Every word you THINK. Every WORD you SPEAK. EVERY word you TYPE. (Yes, even what you say on social media and the arguments that you have will be judged)
Heather, that scripture does not say the words I thought. But, if you read Matthew 5:27-28 it says, “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

So, even in THINKING about lust is a sin. So, THINKING about complaining, rolling your eyes at that co-worker, your friends group me message or your husband is complaining in your heart.

James 3:5 says "The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do."

How do we get help in this area?

1. First, we must be emptied out. What is in your heart? If you find that you have a ton of jealousy, pride, hate, etc - run to the feet of the Father. Repent of your sins! Ask God to cleanse you and make you whole.

2. Now, fill back up again. With God's word, sermons on unforgiveness, sermons on guarding your heart. Grab a journal, a Bible you can understand, spend time with God, stop hanging out with messy, gossiping people and maybe even do a fast from social media if it's causing you to hate everyone, including your life.

3. Surrounding yourself with believers is key. Find a local, word-based church. Join a Pinky Promise Group or start one.  

4. Fast from complaining. Yup, that's right. Train your flesh to say the opposite of what you want to say (only if it's bad!)

5. FIGHT back with the word of God. Write out scriptures on this area and when the attacks come, fight back! Here's a few!

Proverbs 12:18

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Matthew 12:36

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Proverbs 16:24 

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 15:1 

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Matthew 15:18

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

Hebrews 4:12 

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Sisters, WE CAN do this! We CAN speak LIFE. We WILL have a good attitude. There WILL be a joy and light about us as we live for Jesus! We WILL align our words with what God says about us!

Few things!

1. The 2017 Pinky Promise Conference was EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like literally. Here's the night I taught on "Running From God." I will be opening up registration for 2018 this upcoming FRIDAY via www.pinkypromisemovement.com

2. Ah, I'm SO excited that the Pinky Promise Movement page has a new look! Check it out HERE. 

3. ALSO, the Pinky Promise Boutique has a new look too PLUS a ton of cute jewelry, promise rings, clothes, journals, etc! Check it out HERE.

4. Be sure to check my calendar to see if I'm in your city soon! (under Calendar)

5. Are you in Atlanta? Come and visit our church! We are in Sandy Springs! The Gathering Oasis Church - we meet at the Galloway Private School in the Amphitheatre. 215 W Wieuca Rd NW Atlanta, GA 30327 every Sunday at 10AM EST.

5. Lastly, My New Book, Silent Seasons was on the Amazon Best Seller's List as the #1 in New Releases and in Religious for 5 weeks! ahh!! Find it HERE.  or on Amazon/Kindle/Ibooks/Audio Book.

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,

Heather Lindsey

Career vs. Purpose vs. Ministry

Career vs. Purpose vs. Ministry 

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I wanted my Pinky Promise sisters to share what the Lord placed on their heart. And, my sister (and cousin by marriage), April Wesley shared something so powerful.
Check it out.
--

I was prompted to complete this blog when one of my well-respected friends (an entrepreneur, non-profit organizer, world traveler, speaker, and preacher) recently sent a message for well wishes on my birthday and ended with "Purpose looks good on you." She is well-versed in the dynamic nature of purpose, but her statement made me think of an open issue or misconception in the Body of Christ. It is a topic and thought process that I've had to work through in my own life to understand God's plan and pathway (purpose) for my life. "Do people always equate purpose to something 'ministry' related, such as writing books or starting an organized ministry; or, do people recognize that purpose is multifaceted and can result in many purpose paths (outside of what is commonly perceived as 'ministry')?" Also, "can my job or career be my purpose? Is it a part of my purpose? Am I really living in my purpose if I haven't left my job and started my own ministry or business?" Affectionately, I started writing. I began to develop what you're currently reading in hopes to address these misconceptions. This post is for those that struggle with where their career life fits in with their purpose and how it relates to ministry.

Let's start with the title...career first, purpose in the middle, and ministry last. It's strategically placed in that order, not to put career over purpose or ministry, or say that ministry is underneath it all, but to say that purpose is the glue that motivates these endeavors. God's purpose for your life can indeed be experienced in a career, but it is likely not the only way that He will reveal His intended gifts through you. It's a purpose pathway in your life. Because your career or job is a part of your daily life, it is apart of your ministry. Your life is your ministry, period, including every activity, task, action, and interaction within it. Don't be confused. We have unfortunately secluded and regarded ministry to be what happens on a stage or impactful to a larger audience when we should know there is only an audience of One (God) that we serve and produce for.

In this Christian moment in time, it appears to be an overwhelming consensus that if you're working a 9-5 job or career, you're not truly following God's will for your life. I believe we've gained this perception because we've looked at someone else's path and concluded that if "purpose" was birthed when they left their 9-5 jobs, that should be our story too. Not so. If God appointed you to that 9-5 job or career and you KNOW you're supposed to be there, stay there! I believe we've equated purpose as the "blossoming of opportunity" that happens after we've obeyed God and possibly left our jobs without really consulting God. No, purpose is obedience to WHATEVER God has ordered you to and not measured by who's looking, clapping for us, or agreeing with us. Now, I'm not saying that it's okay to stay in a job or place where God has not ordained you to be and you're remaining there to satisfy your own fleshly desires. I'm telling you to be where God has equipped you to be and wants you to learn. You're clearly there to further your spiritual, personal, and professional development. Even for those who have been told to leave their jobs to explore and act on a new purpose path, I'm absolutely positive that if you were to sit down with them, they would tell you that their ministry is the life they lived before there was a spotlight or newly found purpose opportunity. It didn't start or stop with their decision to be obedient for probably the umpteenth time. Their purpose started at their very first "Yes!" to God!

Everybody is on a stage, whether we realize it or not. God is looking to see how we perform in the purpose pathways He's assigned to us. Purpose does not equal fame or fortune. It equals obedience. Thus, if God placed peace in your heart to pursue a career as a physical therapist, an attorney, realtor, blogger, or musical artist, that's what you must do and do it unto the Lord!

Again, purpose is multifaceted. It is not one particular event, business, passion, or desire in your heart. It is EVERY piece of talent, passion, and God led appointment that He has divinely placed inside of you. When you are led by God, nothing goes wasted. NOTHING. Stop allowing people to put purpose in a box and say that it's only "ministry" if it is packaged and presented a certain way. NO. Your ENTIRE life is ministry! You're constantly being watched by someone and either representing God or not representing God.

Before I even knew about "purpose" and how it is currently presented/appears (along with its associated pressures), I knew about God's peace. I knew when I was 16 and entering into college what my major would be because God gave me peace about the choice. It was for His purpose. When I was 20 and applying to graduate school, God gave me peace about which schools I was to apply to as well as gave me peace to not be anxious about being accepted because the original peace at 16 had already prepared the purpose of acceptance. At 23, I followed the peace to move to a city that God wanted me to not only develop in my career but most importantly, my character. At 27, I followed God's peace in moving to my current city in which every plan and piece of development prior purposed me for His current plan here. From there, I've written two books and started Queenship Restored but that's still not my ultimate and final purpose. I KNOW he has many more purpose paths to take me on and develop!  But guess what? You won't have to force other purpose pathways that don't align with what you know to do now. For example, for the longest, my focus was solely fulfilling my career goals and responsibilities, thinking that was my only reason on this earth. As I started growing in God, He showed me that my passion for design and travel were there for a purpose and would not go to waste. Fast forward about 5 years later, I've been invited to lead design for Pinky Promise and my pastors have welcomed me to travel all over the world as their Director of International Affairs. How's that for never going to school or having a "plan" for either one! Your gifts WILL make room for you! Talk about God fruitfully creating and fulfilling your purpose paths. Nothing goes to waste!

If you work a 9-5 or career and have peace about currently being there but know that God has more for you, you ARE currently operating in purpose and God will eventually reveal that new pathway of purpose (whether it's to start your own consulting firm, non-profit in your current area of work, or go and get that PhD). Again, purpose is NOT just one thing, talent, passion, or desire....it's the combination of these (that is God-ordained) that makes you, you and fulfilling to your time here on this earth. It's literally your "purpose" of being here on earth, to do all of it. We shouldn't stop striving to fulfill everything (whether a career and/or small business and/or media, and/or whatever else God has given us) until we literally DIE. Then we're done fulfilling our purpose!

Just because you're only "practicing" a certain talent or passion in one thing at this moment does not mean that it will be your last and only. So don't be quick to forfeit a part of your purpose to match your faith journey to someone else's. If God has ordained you to go to school and be an attorney, computer programmer, engineer, physician, or HR personnel, do that purpose as unto the Lord! Some people are truly called to work these positions for the rest of their traditional working years or lives. I cannot tell you how many medical professionals' stories I've encountered where they literally worked daily in their careers until their dying day. They believed they were called to their careers and literally served as unto the Lord. It makes sense. We need all of the many career paths for this world to operate, from the CEOs to physicians to environmental services personnel to the professional tree cutters!

As a neurologic physical therapist myself, I KNOW I've been called to my profession. It was the first organized purpose pathway I was called to and has taught me great discipline, specificity, and compassion that carries on into all of my other purposes God has created me to do. I may not do it for the rest of my life, but its training and practice daily prepares me for each new thing God stretches me to do and places on my plate! See, my career is purposeful! Moreover, it serves a purpose as provision for any new thing (writing books, starting a company) that God may assign to my life. If He purposes you to do something, He already provides purposeful provision as well! This is why we must not get weary! ALL THINGS work for the good of those that are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)! Stop comparing your life to someone else's!

In conclusion, I provided the many purpose pathways of my friend at the start of the blog to show how multifaceted purpose can be. It is not one path and is supposed to be a unique all-encompassing, individualized plan for you. Allow God to begin to reveal how your God-given passions and desires are a part of your purpose and faith journey. He knows how to mold the specifics into unimaginable ways and actions. Continue to allow Him to appoint you, direct you, and keep you content in His Will. All things will continue to unfold in its proper time (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Love you!

-April D. Wesley
(IG: @aprildwesley)
#QRWisdom


Before I chime out of my sister/friend/cousin's AMAZING blog, I wanted to introduce and update you on a few things present and upcoming on my end!

1) I have 2 books out currently. My first release, "Queenship Restored: The Reconciliation of the Alpha Woman" is properly titled to address the need for women to have a transformed mindset restored to a Godly queen (what God has called for women to be) vs. pursuing and continuing the often demanded societal alpha women mindset. My latest book is entitled, "Severing Soul Ties," a book that addresses the many ungodly soul ties we can be bound to, including people, ideals, positions, roles, tasks, material possessions, and even our own insecurities. This book is for the person who wants to identify the Truth about soul ties, is tired of living bound to them, and desires to be eternally severed from every type of soul tie. Each book can be found on my website, queenshiprestored.com, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble! Shipping is available WORLDWIDE!

2) I will be going on tour with my company, Queenship Restored, to 6 major US cities for the 2017 "Severing Soul Ties" Book Tour & Lecture Series! The tour will be traveling to Houston, Dallas, Chicago, Brooklyn, Miami, and Los Angeles! Registration and details are free and can be searched on the eventbrite.com search bar under "'Severing Soul Ties' Book Tour & Lecture Series-enter respective city." The tour will be traveling to Houston, Dallas, Chicago, Brooklyn, Miami, and Los Angeles (refer to the flier below for further details)! Each tour location will have individual experiences, but the consistent schedule of events will include book excerpt readings, lectures on Spirit-led soul tie topics, discussions, Q&A, book signings, and product purchase availability! If you are in any of these cities or surrounding areas, please register! There will be limited seating and availability for attendance so register NOW! I can't wait to see everyone, sever soul ties, and continue freedom from soul tie bondage in the coming months!

Tough Year?

Have you had a tough year? I don't know about you - but 2016 has had some AMAZING highs, and some stressful low's. I have been STRETCHED spiritually like NEVER before.

I remember one day, I was at the gym, working out and I was just thinking about the spiritual attacks. As I was working out on the stair stepper, I heard the Holy Spirit interrupt my thoughts and tell me, "Heather, I am preparing you for something so much greater."

It was the sweetest, purest words to me in that moment. Although I preach about the preparation, development, trusting in the Lord, resting in His timing, rejoicing during the tests - but then that moment comes where you're faced with what you preach and post about. At times, it seems like it's so easy to encourage everyone else but when it comes to yourself? Well, you're a little bit harder on you.

As I stepped on that Stairmaster, I told the Lord that I will rejoice in this test. I told Him that I am thankful to share in a TINY bit of His persecution. I was thankful to share in a TINY bit of His suffering for righteous sake.

And, in every time and in every moment, I have watched the Lord strengthen me through those tests.

So, if 2016 has been a year of stretching for you too - I want to encourage you that if you've been SOWING love, peace, joy, OBEDIENCE, trusting God when you don't' understand and walking by FAITH - GOD HONORS it. It is NOT in vain. I love harvest season because I know when I'm passing a spiritual test, I will see a spiritual harvest. Ya'll KNOW I am not one to say that "THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR NEW YEAR" - because I don't know what season you're in but I DO know that if WE stay like those TREES that are planted by the rivers of water (Psalms 1:3) that we will BRING forth FRUIT in our season, our LEAF will not wither and whatever we do will prosper.

DUE SEASON WILL ALWAYS COME!

So, don't dig your tree up and move it somewhere else if things are hard. Stay planted. Just stay there. Stay in that test and PASS it. Don't run back to your past. Don't rush back to what was once comfortable.  I can ASSURE you that you will see something on the other side of it ALL. When you live a life of disobedience, it HINDERS the Lord from working in you. So, repent sis, turn back around and endure! God will give you the strength to pass whatever is in front of you.

I started this blog to you all this morning and then I got confirmation that I have my own show on the WORD network (AHH!) called "The Heather Lindsey Show." If you've been following the ministry, you know that I've always wanted to host again but I put it down because the Lord told me to do so for a season. And, almost 10 years later, I'm picking it back up again.

I'm completely convinced that there's a PATH for each and every one of you (Jeremiah 1:5). Your story may not look like my story because it's YOUR story, but, along that path of saying YES to Jesus - you will find the life that He has prepared for you. This doesn't mean that tests stop. Actually, they will probably increase. But, it simply means that you get to lean on and depend on the Lord for every breath. I can assure you, with tears in my eyes - God is faithful. If He does nothing else, I want you to know that He longs for a relationship with you. He longs to walk with you. He longs to be close to you. He longs to speak to you. He longs to LEAD your life. Put down that strife and division in your heart and open up your heart to Him. He's constantly waiting.

I always say that a new year isn't a new you unless you renew your mind and say Yes to our Jesus. So, cheers to committing to spend the next year at the feet of our Jesus. He never fails us.

I love you all so much. I'm not sure if you know how much I truly love you but I pray for you all on a regular basis. I want to see you win. I want to see you walk in your purpose. I want to see you free from bitterness, I want to see you bold. I want to see you committed to Jesus. So, cheers to never quitting.

Just a few things:

1. Find my (6) books (including my NEW book, "Fighting Together") purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's
 
3. Register for the 2017 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 50,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. We are headed on a Revival Tour to Kenya, Nigeria, London and Capetown. Register here: www.lindseyevents.com 


God loves you like crazy,

Love,

Heather Lindsey

"How To Recognize A Woman Collector"

What is a collector? A collector is a man or a woman that collects people and keeps them around that they aren't 100% sold on. They do this because they like certain aspects about you, but it's not enough to full commit to you. So, they collect relationships in their phone and they reach out just enough to keep you hanging on a string. When you begin to complain about not getting enough time or energy, they either get upset, disappear only to return another day or they are very apologetic. All three tactics are to keep you around -- still, without commitment. 

Don't get me wrong, men and women can both be collectors. If I can keep it real, I was once a collector, so it defintely happens. But, because I like to talk directly to my sisters and preach to them because I am one, I am going to refer towards men. 

These men will sleep with you, take you out on dates, text you late at night when they're bored and find ways to keep you around just enough where you will be waiting and hoping that there's a chance for a relationship. Although you may not recognize it, they pick you up off of the shelf and put you back on the shelf as they feel led. They don't respect nor value you. They would never see themselves marrying you and can cut you off the moment they meet someone they really want to be with. This is why most times, your relationship is "private" and not out in the open. The collector blames it on, "keeping your business to yourselves."

I actually dated a guy like that on and off for about seven years. SEVEN YEARS. Everytime he would text me, I would get so excited. I was always hoping that we would one day work out.. (I thought in my head.) But, all the while, he continued to have babies by other women and he made zero effort to pursue me. Only, when it was convenient. "I wasn't like other women. I was like his best friend that understood him." (honey, that's a lie) He only really reached out when he was in town, when him and his 10 other women weren't working out. When he was bored. And, I let him. So, I now blame myself for even entertaining that foolishness as a single. Of course, I have forgiven myself :) But, if I can encourage you to recognize a collector, cut him off quickly. 

The Dream

I remember having this dream about him and in the dream, I was walking with him and we were going down different pathways together and at the end of each pathway was a different woman. I would watch him flirt with her and completely ignore me. I was so mad in my dream because there were SO many women. Then, I heard the Lord say, "Let him go Heather, there is no profit in this relationship." 

Well, needless to say, that was the last time I dealt with him. What a waste of time! I was hoping and praying that this guy would see my worth and value. The thing is, he talked all the good talk. When I got saved, He talked about the bible/Jesus with me. Then, right before the dream, he told me that God told him that I was supposed to be his wife. (#BoyBye) 

The crazy thing is, based on the worlds standards, this guy looked amazing on paper. He had it together from the worlds standpoint. Huge figure salary and all. But, biblically, we were absolutely unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says: Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? I was almost willing to FORCE it to work because of our "history." I can assure you that I would NOT be doing what I am doing today if he was my leader or my head in marriage. I would have TEAMED up with darkness and absolutely settled in that relationship. I knew we had little in common, except. History. 

I am thankful that the Lord shut that relationship down and that next year, I met my now husband. One of the first questions Cornelius asked me was "Who helps me carry my groceries?" Now, if I was entertaining the woman collector, then I would have had that answer for him. And, we may not have talked because godly men want a godly woman, not a woman that jumps from man to man, looking for worth and value. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I forgave the woman collector after that dream and I understood that he wasn't a believer, (even though he claimed to be, his life clearly proved otherwise) so I am sharing this so that you won't be deceived and hurt when he marries the woman he really wants to be with. 

It's important that even if this guy goes to your church, that you recognize a woman collector. So, yes, he can be in the church, serving, praying and SILL struggle with this area. Just because he is in church doesn't mean that he believes what is being preached. Hey may, just like attention and you give it to him. This is why it's vital that we test every spirit. "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1). Testing the spirits means that one must know how to “examine the Scriptures.” Rather than accept every teaching, discerning Christians diligently study the Scriptures. Then YOU know what the Bible says and therefore can “test all things and hold fast to what is true.” In order to do this, a Christian must “be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). The Word of God is to be “a lamp” and “a light” to our path (Psalm 119:105). We must let its light shine on the teachings and doctrines of the day; the Bible alone is the standard by which all truth must be judged. 

Now, if you're looking at that man to be the priest of your household, then it's VITAL that you have a relationship with Jesus for yourself so that the Holy Spirit can WARN you ahead of time of those guys that are seeking to string you along. He may be sweet with his words, but the Holy Spirit can read between those lines and tell you that you're getting played. 

The danger in getting wrapped up in these relationships is that you create an entire life with someone who is creating a life with someone else. Your number and time is just there when times get rough or they're fighting for the zillionth time. He will tell you whatever lies he can to keep you around, to sleep with you just one more time and whatever else. You are being USED. Let the little birdie fly and go get focused on what God has called you to do. 

WHAT a waste of time!! The bible tells us to fill our minds with GOOD things that are worthy of report, not stalking that man's social media and wondering if he is going to call you back. My sister, it doesn't TAKE all of that. YOU are worth SO much more. A godly man wouldn't take a chance on losing you to another. So, he won't play games. 

So, if you recognize one of these guys, cut them off. Or, if you are one of these people, just stop it. You're sowing some pretty nasty seeds. You won't want to see the harvest of heartbreak over and over again because it may  happen to you. Don't keep people around to stroke your ego. Don't lead people on. Instead, pursue Jesus with all of your heart. 

The biggest thing I hearing the Lord say while writing this is that these types of relationships are DISTRACTIONS. Big distractions to get you off course. Let's get back on course, block the collectors in every way and press forward to the mark of the high calling through Jesus Christ! You're unavailability single. 

Just a few things:

1. Find my (5) books (including my NEW book, "The Purpose Room"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 10:30am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  3600 Snapfinger Rd Lithonia, GA 30038

4. Register for the 2017 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 50,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

6. We are headed on a Revival Tour to Kenya, Nigeria, London and Capetown. Register here: www.lindseyevents.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,

Heather Lindsey

"How To Recognize A Woman Collector"

What is a collector? A collector is a man or a woman that collects people and keeps them around that they aren't 100% sold on. They do this because they like certain aspects about you, but it's not enough to full commit to you. So, they collect relationships in their phone and they reach out just enough to keep you hanging on a string. When you begin to complain about not getting enough time or energy, they either get upset, disappear only to return another day or they are very apologetic. All three tactics are to keep you around -- still, without commitment. 

Don't get me wrong, men and women can both be collectors. If I can keep it real, I was once a collector, so it defintely happens. But, because I like to talk directly to my sisters and preach to them because I am one, I am going to refer towards men. 

These men will sleep with you, take you out on dates, text you late at night when they're bored and find ways to keep you around just enough where you will be waiting and hoping that there's a chance for a relationship. Although you may not recognize it, they pick you up off of the shelf and put you back on the shelf as they feel led. They don't respect nor value you. They would never see themselves marrying you and can cut you off the moment they meet someone they really want to be with. 

I actually dated a guy like that on and off for about seven years. SEVEN YEARS. Everytime he would text me, I would get so excited. I was always hoping that we would one day work out.. (I thought in my head.) But, all the while, he continued to have babies by other women and he made zero effort to pursue me. Only, when it was convenient. "I wasn't like other women. I was like his best friend that understood him." (honey, that's a lie) He only really reached out when he was in town, when him and his 10 other women weren't working out. When he was bored. And, I let him. So, I now blame myself for even entertaining that foolishness as a single. Of course, I have forgiven myself :) But, if I can encourage you to recognize a collector, cut him off quickly. 

The Dream

I remember having this dream about him and in the dream, I was walking with him and we were going down different pathways together and at the end of each pathway was a different woman. I would watch him flirt with her and completely ignore me. I was so mad in my dream because there were SO many women. Then, I heard the Lord say, "Let him go Heather, there is no profit in this relationship." 

Well, needless to say, that was the last time I dealt with him. What a waste of time! I was hoping and praying that this guy would see my worth and value. The thing is, he talked all the good talk. When I got saved, He talked about the bible/Jesus with me. Then, right before the dream, he told me that God told him that I was supposed to be his wife. (#BoyBye) 

The crazy thing is, based on the worlds standards, this guy looked amazing on paper. He had it together from the worlds standpoint. Huge figure salary and all. But, biblically, we were absolutely unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says: Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? I was almost willing to FORCE it to work because of our "history." I can assure you that I would NOT be doing what I am doing today if he was my leader or my head in marriage. I would have TEAMED up with darkness and absolutely settled in that relationship. I knew we had little in common, except. History. 

I am thankful that the Lord shut that relationship down and that next year, I met my now husband. One of the first questions Cornelius asked me was "Who helps me carry my groceries?" Now, if I was entertaining the woman collector, then I would have had that answer for him. And, we may not have talked because godly men want a godly woman, not a woman that jumps from man to man, looking for worth and value. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I forgave the woman collector after that dream and I understood that he wasn't a believer, (even though he claimed to be, his life clearly proved otherwise) so I am sharing this so that you won't be deceived and hurt when he marries the woman he really wants to be with. 

It's important that even if this guy goes to your church, that you recognize a woman collector. So, yes, he can be in the church, serving, praying and SILL struggle with this area. Just because he is in church doesn't mean that he believes what is being preached. Hey may, just like attention and you give it to him. This is why it's vital that we test every spirit. "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1). Testing the spirits means that one must know how to “examine the Scriptures.” Rather than accept every teaching, discerning Christians diligently study the Scriptures. Then YOU know what the Bible says and therefore can “test all things and hold fast to what is true.” In order to do this, a Christian must “be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). The Word of God is to be “a lamp” and “a light” to our path (Psalm 119:105). We must let its light shine on the teachings and doctrines of the day; the Bible alone is the standard by which all truth must be judged. 

Now, if you're looking at that man to be the priest of your household, then it's VITAL that you have a relationship with Jesus for yourself so that the Holy Spirit can WARN you ahead of time of those guys that are seeking to string you along. He may be sweet with his words, but the Holy Spirit can read between those lines and tell you that you're getting played. 

The danger in getting wrapped up in these relationships is that you create an entire life with someone who is creating a life with someone else. Your number and time is just there when times get rough or they're fighting for the zillionth time. He will tell you whatever lies he can to keep you around, to sleep with you just one more time and whatever else. You are being USED. Let the little birdie fly and go get focused on what God has called you to do. 

WHAT a waste of time!! The bible tells us to fill our minds with GOOD things that are worthy of report, not stalking that man's social media and wondering if he is going to call you back. My sister, it doesn't TAKE all of that. YOU are worth SO much more. A godly man wouldn't take a chance on losing you to another. So, he won't play games. 

So, if you recognize one of these guys, cut them off. Or, if you are one of these people, just stop it. You're sowing some pretty nasty seeds. You won't want to see the harvest of heartbreak over and over again because it may  happen to you. Don't keep people around to stroke your ego. Don't lead people on. Instead, pursue Jesus with all of your heart. 

The biggest thing I hearing the Lord say while writing this is that these types of relationships are DISTRACTIONS. Big distractions to get you off course. Let's get back on course, block the collectors in every way and press forward to the mark of the high calling through Jesus Christ! You're unavailability single. 

Just a few things:

1. Find my (5) books (including my NEW book, "The Purpose Room"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 10:30am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  3600 Snapfinger Rd Lithonia, GA 30038

4. Register for the 2017 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 50,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

6. We are headed on a Revival Tour to Kenya, Nigeria, London and Capetown. Register here: www.lindseyevents.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,

Heather Lindsey

Feeling Discontent With Your Current Season?

Have you ever just checked out on what God has called you to do? Maybe you're so excited about the next "season" in your life that you aren't even there in your mind right now. Maybe you're graduating next May and you have "senioritis." Senioritis is when you're so not in class - you're just going through the motions. You're so tired of being there and you're READY to go. You're so ready to be finished. I can relate as I felt that way my last year of college. I was so ready to move to New York and get my "purpose" started. I kept saying - I'm going to really see my "purpose" when I finally graduate! I'm going to really see what God called me to do! Sadly, I TOTALLY neglected my current season. I was already gone in my head. I had checked out and I was totally missing what God wanted me to do in TODAY.

At times, we can become so focused on our "next" step, or the "new season" or the whatever else that we ignore what God wants us to do right NOW. Guess what, today .. you have PURPOSE. Today actually matters. And, today is preparing you for where God is taking you. What I didn't know as I "rushed" to my next season is that New York was going to be one of the hardest seasons in my LIFE. I was in such a rush to get there that I didn't realize that the next season in my life carried it's own sets of struggles, hardaches, tests and trials.

So, where are you at right now in your life? Are you sick and tired of this season? Maybe you're not as on fire as you were when you first started your job. Maybe you just violate every copy-write law as you write your last paper. Maybe, you're not as on fire and excited about your marriage because you're bored with it. Or, maybe you're engaged and rushing towards the aisle.

Today matters.

Get your emotions together and sit before the Lord. Ask Him to help you to not be lazy, complacent, bored, tired and giving up on where He has placed you. We must stop rushing from one thing to the next - thinking that wherever we are going is going to be better. The grass aint greener in your next season honey! The same you is going to be there. 

Philippians 4:11-13 

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Let's talk about that word contentment.  Philippians 4:11 says in WHATEVER situation, be content. Not happy? - Not encouraged? - Bored? - Wishing you had whatever? - It says in whatever situation that you're in, be content. And, keep reading. It says that you can do all things THROUGH Christ. Not through yourself, through your degree, through your season or through whatever else you think you need in order to be happy. 

I just sense that some of ya'll are so not happy about your current state of your marriage. Maybe, you think your marriage was fun at one point but now, it's become routine. Instead of comparing your husband to another man, focus on what your husband DOES right. Maybe, he is great with the kids, he comes home to you EVERY night, He leads you in bringing the family to church. "Well, Heather - those are things he's supposed to do." I totally understand, but sadly you have too many expectations. Let me explain. Unmet expectations birth frustrations. Instead of focusing on all of your expectations in your marriage, focus on the Lord. Then, you will burn your laundry list of what your husband needs to "be." And allow for the Holy Spirit to work on him & change him. You cannot change that man. You cannot change Him. But, you can work on you. You can let the Holy Spirit change you. Did you know that God created marriage and He can give you the inside scoop on how to make it sweet? So, give your expectations to the Lord. I'm with you on having a godly husband, that comes home to you and loves you like Christ loves the church. There's times where I feel like, "My husband isn't loving me like Christ loves the church!!" Then, the Lord asked me a questions - are you submitting to him as unto the Lord?" Umm.. well. Not really. I believe as women we become perfectionist in telling everyone what they need to do while ignoring the part we play. 

Regardless of your current season, this still holds true -- we need to finish strong and finish what we were supposed to complete or ENDURE where God has placed you (ie. Marriage). Don't allow laziness to rob you from doing what God has called you to do. So, maybe you know you're about to leave a current job for a new job. Is your employer sad that you're leaving or are they pushing you out the door in relief that they don't have to do with your attitude anymore? Maybe, you do your work, but you do it with a heart that's checked out. People can sense that you're doing  your work grudgingly and not as unto the Lord. Colossians 3:23 "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people."

Many times, we want God to bless where we are going but we aren't being faithful in where we are today.  So, cheers to not letting your emotions & feeling dictate where you are in life. Let's press forward & do what the Lord has called us to do as long as it's called today. 

Just a few things:

1. Find my (4) books (including my NEW book, "The Runaway Bride"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Midtown Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. 

4. Register for the 2016 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. We are headed to London for the Holy Desperation Conference! Join us! www.lindseysinlondon2016.eventbee.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 40,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you like crazy,
Love you all so much!

Heather Lindsey

Family Trip to Maui, Hawaii 

"After Graduation & Feeling Purposeless?"

I recall taking an internship my junior year in college (2003) and I had just finished cooking for Jesus & having a "date night. with Him" I was single, focused & very intentional about spending time with God daily. So, as we watched a movie, He told me to turn to TV off. I grabbed a journal and the Lord began to download into my heart. He said,

"Heather, I have called you to preach my gospel. The Gospel of Jesus Christ. You and your one day husband will have a worldwide ministry and millions of people will come into the knowledge of who I am through your ministry. You will travel all over the world and don't be afraid because I will be with you."

I WAS SO EXCITED! The LORD FINALLY TOLD ME MY PURPOSE!! I had been asking Him EVERYDAY for like 6 months so I was thrilled when He made things to plain to me. I recall jumping up & telling my roommate who wasn't a believer! She didn't seem so thrilled & then the Lord told me that everybody isn't going to share in my joy & excitement but it doesn't change what He has called me to do. He also shared that He never told me to tell her. Lesson learned. :) Nonetheless, I felt like I had some type of direction for the first time in my life.

But.

Then I sat there on my bed and thought, wait Lord. I have no ministry experience. I just got saved like 8-9 months ago. I have no parents or even family members in ministry. Wait, you sure that you called ME Lord? I mean, I'm a train wreck. I honestly felt so insufficient. I thought about my past where I chased down bad relationships. I thought about the boyfriend I barely broke up with 3 months ago. I thought about just not feeling enough.

Then, the Lord took me to:

Philippians 1:6

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

Galatians 3:3

How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?

Then, He took me to Jeremiah 1:7 

…But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am a youth,' Because everywhere I send you, you shall go, And all that I command you, you shall speak. "Do not be afraid of them, For I am with you to deliver you," declares the LORD.  Then the LORD stretched out His hand and touched my mouth, and the LORD said to me, "Behold, I have put My words in your mouth.…"

I realized that if God started this work in me, He will complete it and why was I trying to perfect what HE said to do in my flesh RIGHT after HE told me to do it? THEN, like Jeremiah, I felt like I wasn't ENOUGH. I felt like I stared at all of my flaws and weaknesses and wondered WHY would God use ME? Then I heard a small still voice.. "Heather.. He will put the words in your mouth. He will show you what to do. He will lead you. Slow down and don't rush ahead of God." I realized that I will NEVER be enough in my own strength, power & ability. Its God that is going to have to finish what He started in me. 

So, I moved back to Michigan to finish school at Michigan State University and I was thrilled to only have 1 year left. I was ready to leave Michigan far behind and never look back because I felt like so much of my past was built up there. I wanted a new start in the Lord, a new beginning. So, in my senior year I began to pray about where the Lord wanted me to go and He told me New York. New York? Lord, I have no job, no connects, no nothing.

My graduation party from MSU! Left for NYC right after this photo!

BUT

I knew He was telling me to go. I packed up a enterprise van with as much stuff as I could fit and I made my way to New York. My best friend, Delan connected me with one of her friends from her hometown who needed a roommate and I moved in with 2 other girls to Spanish Harlem, NYC (around 118th street and 3rd ave). It's almost like if you think you're going to live for God and everything is going to be all pretty & perfect. Um no. No offense by any means to anyone living there but our area wasn't the safest area at that time. Hey, it was 2004, not sure what it's like now. Our building was run down, I saw a roach for the first time in my life on a regular basis, I saw mice, rats running around-- there was no central AC, lots of gun shots and I never felt totally comfortable living there.

BUT

In my NYC Apartment in 2004

God told me to be there. Talk about a season of STRETCHING! I just KNEW that the second I left college, God was going to lay out this perfect, orchestrated plan for my life where I had somewhere to live comfortably, a great paying job, wonderful friends and that perfect preaching husband. 

Psh. I lived where I was most uncomfortable, I worked for free at a job where God told me to tell people about Jesus, I had no friends in NYC, no church home yet (I searched like 20-30 churches) and I only had RANDOMS (men I knew I wouldn't marry but I was bored/lonely so I would hang out with them) pursuing me! I'm like, Lord-- I know you said I'm going to marry a man that preached the gospel but I'm not seeing what you TOLD ME!

I realized that God won't lay out my life on a perfect platter giving me step 1-100. Instead, He leads me with step 1. After I am obedient to what He told me to do, then He shows me step 2. If I ignore God and run from step 3 then I will stay at step 2 until I'm obedient to Him. Some people get stuck and stay at step 3 their whole life because they are afraid of step 3. Can I be honest? I was scared to not be obedient to the Lord. I was afraid of what was on the other side of my disobedience. I mean, I know you want to marry that man, but that man is HOLDING you back from doing what God called you to do. I know you want that job, but that job is keeping you in a state where you aren't supposed to be! I know, you want to please everybody but God never called you to that career! I know you want this or that but if it isn't what God wants for you, IT MUST DIE. 

Matthew 16:25

"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

Now, this isn't a pretty process. It's actually pretty ugly. God literally prunes you from the wrong mindsets, attitudes, relationships and crazy ways of thinking, This pruning doesn't FEEL good. This pruning includes YOU being honest with what God called you to do. Yes, you went to school and took out a bunch of loans to become an engineer because so & so was an engineer in your family. But you know for a fact that God has called you somewhere else. Listen, MONEY will never truly make you happy. It will become your SLAVE as you go into work and HATE your job. Then, you take your frustrations out on everybody else because you're in a job & doing something that you HATE in which.. GOD never told you to do.

I wanted to host TV. I pursued it. I actually got on a pretty big network. But it was MY idea. My plans. My thoughts. My vision. I thought I needed to "create" a platform for Jesus but I realized that God Himself can create the platform & then put me ON it.

 I don't have to go & try to do something & then tag God's name to it. After I stopped trying to tag God's name on everything, I actually let God take me through a process. A process of working at jobs that I wasn't crazy about but I KNEW God told me to go  there to develop in love, patience, character and integrity. Will I bend the rules and take the company car service home when I technically can.. but I shouldn't? Will I use all the ink to print my bible studies and hide it from my boss? Will I jump into gossip and join my co-workers when they cut up?

You won't "all the sudden" ARRIVE at your purpose. It actually takes you being intentional in waking up every morning and living for Jesus. Saying yes to Him and no to your flesh. You can't live any o'le kinda way and expect for the Lord to trust you with your calling! It takes great discipline! I'm not saying that you have to "earn" God because you cannot do that but what I am saying is that He has to be leading you. So, check your heart. Check out your life. Who is making the decisions in your life? Do you even talk to Him? Do you hear His voice? I did a blog on "How to Hear God's voice" and I encourage you to read it if you're struggling there!

Although I was working on Wall Street for a season in my life, I knew that God called called me to something great. I would talk to Him everyday and He would remind me that He has not forgotten about me and that He loves me. If I didn't talk to Him for long periods of time, I would start to feel purposeless. I realized that I needed constantly communication and fellowship

Met my now hubby while serving in those 5 ministries!

with the Holy Spirit to hold on to what God told me. And, while I was doing that I served in ministry. I served in over 5 ministries for about 6-7 years faithfully as a leader. I didn't quit when it got hard. I dealt with mean personalities. I dealt with christians talking behind my back. I went through this pruning process and everything I learned along the journey was NECESSARY for what I'm doing today. I am THANKFUL for the process, the hard times, the journey, the eating eggs every night for dinner because I couldn't afford anything else, the working for free, the volunteering, the whatever else because I was doing it as onto the Lord and NOT man.

Remember that it is GOD alone that placed PURPOSE in you and you will never be satisfied with what you're doing unless you are doing what HE has called YOU to do! For me, I loved helping women, reminding them of their worth, value and pointing them to the cross. It burned my heart to see women settle with the wrong men & to pursue anything outside of Jesus. I wanted to see them flourish in their relationship with God! I wanted to teach them to cook, dress cute & curl their hair so they would feel beautiful on the inside & the out. I didn't want to see them jealous or envious of one another! I wanted to see a generation of women rise up & actually support and push each other closer to Jesus! God used that to start Pinky Promise! What is He telling you to do? It may not happen right away, but it will! Has God called you to bake? Bake for your local church, for free! Has God called you to make modest clothes? Go find some budget fabric and make it work! Has God called you to be a Doctor? Study & show yourself approved and trust Him to use you to be a light!

So, hang in there. Whether you graduated or not, whether you've been searching for a job or looking for a career, slow down and let the Holy Spirit lead you. I saw bits & pieces of God using me over a 9 year time period before I stepped into ministry full time. You have a season and a time under the sun. Be faithful to God RIGHT where you are & let Him lead your path.

Just a few things:

1. Find my (4) books (including my NEW book, "The Runaway Bride"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Midtown Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. 

4. Register for the 2016 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! http://pinkypromise2016.eventbee.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 35,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. Pinky Promise is hosting a statewide baby shower for low income & single mamas in Atlanta, GA on September 12. If you want to donate or be a part of it, please email pinkypromisequestions@gmail.com For donations only, you can send the payment via PayPal to pinkypmovement@gmail.com & be sure to note that its for the Statewide Baby Shower. All donations are tax deductible. 

I love you all so much!
God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey