Friday, February 24, 2012

"10 Wrong Reasons To Get Married"

(me on my wedding day, marrying Gods best. IT was WORTH the wait!)

This is an area that so many of my ladies struggle with INCLUDING myself. I was actually scared of marriage for awhile because I knew that I had to submit to my one-day husband & I had a hard time meeting guys that I felt were WORTH submitting to 100%. So, take a peek inside of my journal really quick & lets get started.

My journal
Nov 13 2008

Me: Ughh I would of totally been married by now if my ex had it together
God: you would of totally been out of the will of God for your life.

**When God told me that, I laughed-- it's so like Him to correct me & my little discontentment. I'm thankful that He shut certain doors on relationships because NOW I see that my marriage was MORE than just legal sex. It has PURPOSE. My husband and I are taking on 10,000 & we have a MINISTRY of helping others, especially in the areas of dating, courting & relationships. Would I of had this in other relationships? Probably not. We sure wasn't waiting to kiss until our wedding day. Jus sayin'.
(side note: My hubby & I connected after he walked by me for 3 years at church.. on Jan 3 2009..about 2 months after the above! :) )

So, my first first message I preached was 10 wrong reasons to get married.. I decided to blog them as well. :) You can check out the message after you read the top reasons-- of course I elaborated on when I preached, so it's worth checking out if you found yourself in any of these places.

Wrong reasons to get married..

1. Your lonely.. and you've jumped from relationship to relationship or friend to friend, job to job.. to fulfill some type of inner void that only can be filled by God. Not sure if your lonely? Spend a week by yourself and listen to what comes out of you when your all alone.. I did this when I was single & was SCARED of myself. I was so empty & SO lonely at one point.
Void Fillers Examples: shopping, man, jobs, food, exercise or whatever else you depend on when you're feeling emotional. Whenever I would get lonely as a single woman, I knew that it was God calling me back to a closer relationship with HIM. He wanted my heart & I wanted to give my heart to randoms.

2. Fear of being alone- - You can't leave yourself, so you may as well get to know you!! You won't go out to the movies alone or to a really nice restaurant with Jesus and your bible. Be free! Learn to enjoy YOURSELF! What happens is..when you get married, you put that responsibility on that man and your issue is to big for him to handle, and he's not equipped to take on the cares of you! That's why Jesus lived, died and rose for you!

3. Depression- You better get in the only One that can remove those negative emotions! Recognize that wrong thinking is weighing you down and get away from those negative words that are determining your thinking. Stop using band aids to cover up all your emotional issues! I'm very honest with God when I say.. You know what, I'm needy, hot-mess.. I'm a desperate woman and I need your help in this area, and that area. I sure cannot do it without you and YOU said if I lack wisdom in any area, u would give it to me if I asked in faith (James 1) . So I thank you for being my Jehovah Shalom! YOU are my peace!
SO get honest with God about WHERE you are. Confessing it reveals it & GOD heals it.

4. You got prego out of wedlock.. and then ran and had a shotgun wedding..and said "WOW.. I got prego so fast.." lying..but that baby was already there! Then after you have that child those same feelings come back that you that had about that person you were dating. You weren't READY to get married!
Getting to the root of this is important. Its like opening up 6pk of oreo's. You eat one, and say you're only going to eat one, but then you have another, then you're watching tv and you smash the whole pack.. With sexual immorality- its the same thing!! Kissin leads to tongue kissing.. Which leads to rubbin' layin'.. Tryin' and lasciviousness or an inability to stop! We can't take old poisoned ways of thinking and bring it into our new relationships!!
Then you rationalize, like he loves me, I'm the only one he's doing it with- plus we repent and take communion afterward. Then you end up back in the bed!!! If you KEEP doing the same' thing--you'll get the SAME results. Take your tail HOME. As Christians, we must set boundaries and stick to them! One foot in the world and one foot in the kingdom is cancelling each other out which leaves you... In the same position! Then, you end up preggers. Don't let a growing belly make you think that you have to make emotional life-time decision.

5. Desperation- You are getting older and want to have kids so you settle for some Ishmael that's sorta-saved.. You better WAIT and cast down those thoughts that are contrary to the word by speaking the word over your life! You'll end up either super unhappy, trying to control & change your guy or divorced, hurt & hardended towards God.. but HE is the one who told you not to marry the random in the first place.. Give your hurts to Jesus. Let Him heal you. Don't turn from the only ONE that can make you WHOLE.

6. Insecurity- These issues will rise up in your marriage.. whatever you DON'T deal with now will amplify 100x in your marriage. Checkin' his phone?? You don't trust him!! Why are you with him? That little seed of checkin homies phone is gonna grow if you don't get to the root of it! Stop cutting off the blade of every situation!! Get deeper! Is it that you're carrying baggage from past relationships?? That other man hurt you so now you wanna be controlling so the next one won't.. Or you really don't think he's "like" that, but you still check his phone anyway, just in case. The question is.. What are you bringing to the table??! Besides some cute shoes and a good weave?!! Pass the tests on the inside of you and the fruit will come! The last thing a man wants, married or unmarried is a insecure woman! Know who you are in Christ! Receive the right standing He gave you when he died for you!

7. Money- He has money and you want someone to come and save you like superman.. and wipe out all of your debt. Why don't you get honest about yourself and your finances and tell God you need HELP in that area?! Do the natural and stop spending money on DUMB stuff! Statistic's show that 50% of marriages don't last with Money being one of the main reasons for divorce. Money is temporary. That's why God tells us to keep our eyes on HIM alone & on heavenly things.

8. You're a mama's or daddy's girl and you're used to people taking care of you.. so you want your man to be your daddy but after that person nags you all day, then taps on your shoulder at night for sex.. you don't want to have sex with a father figure! yuck! A man can look into your eyes and tell that you're NEEDY and that taking you on is a full responsibility.

9. Because YOU are burning with passion for some sex. You better deal with that spirit of lust before you get married because it'll creep back up during your marriage. Yeah, Paul said if you cannot contain yourself to marry.. but if you flip back to Malachi 2:16 it says that God hates divorce.. so if you're going to get married you better make sure that Jesus is all up in it. If you got divorced, don't beat yourself down-- move on & live for Christ like it's your last breath.
10. You aren't whole and you want someone to make you feel better about you. God can truly fulfill of your desires! He can do it so much better than you!

With all of THAT being said..
If you found yourself in the above.. don't beat yourself down. Evaluate your heart. WHY do you do what you do? If you say you love God, your life will show. Let your focus to be to LOVE God with your heart. If that's your primary focus.. you wont' have to worry about ANY of the above. God's GRACE is sufficient. TRUST HIM.
God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

We JUST broke up. Now what?!


So.. the relationship finally came to an end. Your heart is broken, you're sad, frustrated and you did everything you knew to make the size 9 shoe fit into a size 6. So WHAT do you do now??! You may have broken up yesterday.. 6 months ago.. or 3 years ago but it still hurts DEEPLY.

I have BEEN there. It's not a happy feeling. Even if you know that "random" wasn't God's best for your life. So, hear me out for a few minutes through that empty feeling.

1. First question is the most important question. If you don't have this question settled, the others will mean NOTHING. Let's all be clear. So my question is-- "Are you a Christian?" This question is important because when you prayin' I want to make sure you're praying and getting your strength from the ONE & only Living God. Jesus died on the cross to heal our broken hearts and all of our pains and worries. (The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit- Psalms 34:18). So if you dont' have a relationship with Jesus, NOW is the time to get one. And don't feel bad-- if you read my other blog on my single life a BAD relationship is what brought me to Christ. I HIT rock bottom-- hardcore & felt like I had no purpose and had no value. I wanted so bad to fill that empty void in my heart with humans that could only be filled by Christ. So I can sit here & tell you to "Confess with your mouth & believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross and you will be saved (Romans 10:9) AND this is true-- AND the believing in your heart will be demonstrated in your LIFESTYLE. So, give your heart to Jesus-- find a church that teaches the word correctly (not all that screaming, hollering or twisting of the scriptures), get a journal, spend time with God daily, (I just linked my blog on spending time with God) go on dates with Him, Learn Him-- then OBEY Him. Remember, that Jesus is your source for EVERYTHING. Filling your God-sized void with some other religion, purse or human aint gonna help you. that we're clear on that one.

(Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.- Proverbs 4:23)

If I could scream this from the rooftop--I would. After you have a breakup that you know wasn't God's best for your life--you've got to go get some GATES and surround them around your heart. If you're STRUGGLING with getting over him or her-- you dont' need to WATCH their life via facebook and twitter. Block them, delete them, change your phone number, remove them from skype, facetime or whatever else may tempt you to reach out to them. If you want to keep them around--you just don't want it bad enough. You still may have an inkling of hope that you guys will get back together. And you know what--you may? But that CANNOT be your focus. Your focus must always be CHRIST alone!! If God wants ya'll together, HE will press it so hard on your heart--you will feel like you're DISOBEYING Him by not working things out with that person. (Ya'll married folk understand). Give his or her clothes to a friend and have your friend give them to him or her. Don't try to pick up the phone & meet up, for what?! That's just going to allow more opportunities for .. additional unnecessary conversation. What a emotional waste. So if you're hanging out in the same groups-- pull BACK. After breaking off a really hard relationship when I was single--I had to NOT go out in groups for about 6 months to a year because I knew my ex would be there. At that time, I wasn't over him & we attended the same church. I was WORKING on something and I NEEDED to get whole.

3. Ok, we've settled that Jesus is Lord of our life.. and we're guarding our hearts. Now what? Now- YOU have to make sure that you're spending time with God daily. If you're not renewing your mind daily, you're going to end up with a new random. Different guy, same issue. Ephesians 4:23 tells us to "Be constantly renewed in the Spirit of your mind (having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude)." Remember that your emotions are very VURNABLE right now. You don't want to just rush into a new relationship. I used to do this too.. for YEARS. I can tell you, I ended up building my relationships on a foundation of more hurt.. and when the winds blew & the rain came (tests & trials of life)--it blew my little relationships down.. and more hurt built up.

4. STOP listening to that sad story music & certain TV shows. If a certain song brings some bad memories to your heart.. no matter HOW beautiful the singer can sing.. shut it down!! I remember I used to despise this one song that was me & my "exes" song while we dated. So when it came on.. I turned it, threw away the CD and I deleted it from my computer. I fought back. YOU have to as well.

5. Don't hang out with the messy friends. Yes. This is really important. It's important because YOU don't need any thing but LIFE spoken into your heart. So if she's talking about "getting" that guy because he got some money, or lets go to the club to get some ballers" or for men- if they wanna go "go to the strip club to get your mind off things"-- THEY shouldn't be your FRIEND. A FRIEND PUSHES YOU TOWARDS CHRIST NOT AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care how long ya'll been friends.

6. As I said before, this time is very delicate. Satan is after your mindset. If he knows that he can have your mindset all messed up he can get you out of the way and you'll be ineffective for Christ. Write up some confessions. Look up scriptures on Trusting God & your Mindset. Just google them. You'll find a ton. Meditate on them, write them on note-cards. Study 2 Corinthians 10:5. Capture those stupid thoughts & make them obey Christ.

7. What about his or her family? Ok, so you broke up with him/her but you're close with their family? Well, you're working on something. Explain to them that you need some space and that YOU connect them to HIM/HER, no matter how you flip it. Guard your heart.

8. Speak life. Don't go bashing him or her. You thought they were all that at some point. No blame gaming. Let God seek revenge. You don't need to. GOD is clear--  “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” Hebrews 10:30. SHUT that pride down that feels like it has to defend itself.

9. No shopping sprees or any HUGE decision. Whenever we break things off we want to do something dramatic like cut our hair or move to another state. NEVER make a big decision when your emotions are on a high like that. Make sure you're being God-led. Yourn geographic location is IMPORTANT.

10. Finally, no after-friends with benefits sex. Yeah, I had to put this in there. Even though you're a Christian and all that-- I know. I've talked about this before.. Oxytocin is a BONDING hormone that will CONTINUE to bond you to an unhealthy relationship & additional soul & physical ties!! So if you wonder why you cannot get over them, it's because you keep bonding yourself to them. THIS hormone is supposed to be released in a God-centered marriage. NOT with a random that bonds himself to anyone with a booty. So, LOVE yourself enough to say NO & STOP!!!!!!!! It's not worth it! Your body is NOT YOURS! It belongs to CHRIST!! You're just a manager! And if you keep having sex with him to get him to stay with you--let me tell you the truth, he's having sex with other chicks too and they think the same thing. He sure can't marry all of ya'll. Be free. And I pray right now that in the name of Jesus that EVERY soul and physical tie is BROKEN right now.

So dont' go back.

God loves you like CRAZY and has someone GREAT for you.

Will you get alone long enough for Him to show you or will you run to another boyfriend or girlfriend when He tries to show Himself to you?

Be whole.

Heather Lindsey

Monday, February 13, 2012

Rough Day?

So one day, I was having a ROUGH day and my hubby gave me this to meditate on. I want to share it with you. I started to say it under my breath.. and peace rolled over me.

Psalm 22:3 says that He inhabits the praise of His people. When we praise the Lord, He is in our midst. PRAISE Him right out of your bad attitudes & rough day. Let HIS peace overwhelm you.

God is so faithful to us. Trust Him.

He loves you like crazy,


Monday, February 6, 2012

"My story: When I was Single"

(my single days-- 2007!)

Soo, a few of you have asked me about my story and although I've touched on it-- I've never blogged about it. So I want to tell you more about myself so you can understand my perspective when I talk about dating, courting and relationships. Let me be clear with you all.. I was a HOT mess when I was single. I'm not going to try to cover that up. You may hear my story now & say.. wow! She didn't believe in kissing before she got married-- so I'm sure she was always like that. ... Please. So here's my story.

So, I was adopted at the age of 5 months by a Caucasian family. My birth mother (who was mexican/german) and my father (who was african american) didn't think that my mother could get pregnant. Then.. while she was in college--she found out that she was pregnant. Thank God that she decided against abortion. She took the unselfish route & gave me an opportunity at life. So as soon as my birth mother gave birth to me, she gave me to a foster home right away. I know that had to be HARD for her. I couldn't imagine.

My foster mother didn't believe in fat babies, so she fed me 3 bottles a day--one for breakfast, lunch and dinner--so as a growing baby I cried! With all of my crying, she thought that I had Cerebral Palsy. Back then, (1982) they didn't have the tests they have now. There were two families that were looking to adopt me--but the foster family gave the African American family the first opportunity..because they were black. The African American family came to meet me and my foster family explained to them that I may have Cerebral Palsy because I cried all the time & because I was stiff. They passed on me & took an African American boy with severe allergies .. THEN, my mother & father came to look at me & said I WANT her! I don't care what's wrong with her! I will take her! My mother told me that when they called her she picked my older sister up, Kristi & danced with her in excitement. How amazing is that? I was adopted, set apart & chosen by a family. Makes me think of my relationship with Jesus. We were all LOST and without hope..and He died for us so that we may be adopted into His family. We are set apart as Christians. Chosen. Whew.
I wasn't the first child my parents adopted. I was actually number 10. I have 24 sisters and brothers ALL of different nationalities--my mother gave birth to only one of them. About 40% of my family has some type of physical or mental disability. (cystic fibrosis, down syndrome).When my mom was little, she lived across the street from an orphanage and she would visit there everyday and tell them that when she grows up--she's going to go back and adopt them all. .. amazing right??! What blows me away is that my parents always wanted to adopt the child that NOBODY else wanted & that the world rejected. What amazing, unconditional love. I DO want to highlight that my PARENTS are amazing. I was SO loved, so cared for, SO taken care of. I'm BLOWN away by the love they have for me. My father has passed away-- but my mother is still here & is STILL a huge ball of LOVE. I adore her & she's one of my best friends.

Jr high- High School

So I went to an all-white school and me and one other person were the only people of color. I felt so rejected. I never felt pretty enough. I would put super perms in my hair to make it straighter because I thought super meant straighter. I was on a full blown out mission.. to be beautiful. My nose seemed huge so I would dust brown eye shadow on the sides of my nose to make it appear smaller. I hated my "beauty" mark above my lip so I would try to cover it up with makeup. Guys didn't ask me out-- so when someone DID give me attention, I just settled for whoever because it felt good to be wanted.
I grew up in a Christan church. But personally, I didn't learn that I wasn't supposed to not have sex outside of marriage. The church was awesome with volunteering but I didn't learn how .. to live a life of pure worship to Jesus with my heart. My mama told me if I'm going to have sex-- get on birth control. So I did. So pretty  much, at this point-- I had soul ties, emotional and physical ties, was jealous, insecure, rejected & confused.


Here is where my hot-messness furthered. So now I'm in college and ALL these guys are giving me attention. It was super surprising to me because I had always viewed myself as ugly. I never hung out with African Americans so I thought that I had to "be like" them to get them to like me. Who knows what that meant? I honestly thought black women were mean. Dont' judge me. I grew up much differently. My mom had ALWAYS taught us that WE are all equal & our skin color has nothing to do with it... But some of the girls I met when I first went to college were SO mean to me for NO reason and I was so chipper & nice. lol. Nonetheless, I started getting my crew together & met a ton of friends from all races. I also learned that I cannot take a couple bad apples & generalize a whole race. (Hey, I was 17 at the time. What do you expect?)

I hated to be single. Dating guys gave me a feeling of completion. .. still wasn't a christian even though I "grew" up as one. I couldn't rock that title because I didn't live like it. I lived for myself & my emotions.

In college, I started dating this guy. Our relationship was a hot mess. This guy cheated on me with everything that moved. I stayed in the relationship because.. I "loved" him. Although I didn't know what love was. I didn't know the Author of Love, so thus--I couldn't give what I never knew or understood. The relationship was built on a foundation of self & lies. It was rough and very distracting. Then, we hit rock bottom. The relationship got really bad. So we broke up and I felt abandoned & lost. I knew if I jumped into another relationship that I would only make things worse & then continued to feel God tugging at my heart. I knew that HE wanted all of me. Even as a full blown sinner without Christ, I knew that Jesus had a plan for my life and that He talked to me. So, I went to a church service and I gave my life to Christ in 2003.. fo' real. I went to the Christian bible store & I looked at almost EVERY bible until I found one that I could read. -- I ended up purchasing the Students Life Application bible & I LOVED it. Then, I got a journal & a couple worship CD's.

Then, I started spending time with God every morning. Look, I aint' saying its right-- it's WRONG but even in my sin when I would stay the night with my new little boyfriends & I would still wake up, pray in the Holy Spirit, read my bible & study AND take my tail to church. It actually confused my ex boyfriends that I was so determined to go spend time with Jesus. lol. I STILL had date night with Jesus. I still counseled others. I still did all I knew to do as I was pressing towards Christ. I wasn't perfect. I was and AM a hot mess. I am so broken without Christ. I knew that God was changing me into His image & I had such a fire in my belly for Christ. This whole thing.. was a huge process for me.

Please hear me out.. MEN were a stronghold for me for YEARS. It was so hard for me NOT to be in a relationship. Even with my date nights with Jesus and everything.. I still struggled with being ok with being alone. I searched all over looking to place my value in people, things, money, purses & the way I looked and I came up EMPTY. In 2005 I read " I kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris & I heard about a story of a couple that waited to kiss until their wedding day & .. it's what I wanted. Even in the midst of not being a virgin & falling over & over.. I still wanted that deep down. I wanted to be valued and to be important to someone. I was tired of guys wanting to eventually have sex with me after "dating" for a few months. I wanted God's best but I just didn't know how to find it. I didn't know what it looked like. Throughout all of this time, the Lord was pulling on my heart.. "my daughter, dont' place your trust in humans, they are as frail as breath, don't go back into that room with your "boyfriend"--he hasn't paid the price for you-- I have", there's no profit in going back to that ex-- it's destructive." I would have dreams with my exes in the dreams where we'd be crashing into the water & drowning or I'd be attacked by demons after coming from their house in the dreams. It was crazy. God used EVERY avenue to show me.

Throughout this entire time, I continued to go to church, pray, study, read my bible.. etc. Then one day, I got SICK and tired of having one foot in the world & ONE foot in the kingdom of God. So I broke it off with my random. Was it hard? Well, yeah--but at this point, I had this relentless determination to live for Christ. I just knew that my CURRENT relationships at that time weren't God's best for my life. They were DITCHES and not bridges. GOD was pulling on my heart & I had no peace with them. I didn't know who I was going to marry but at that point it didn't matter. I would have RATHER been by  myself for 10 years then to date another random.

So I went to the Lord and said.. finally. Daddy, you are all I need. I'm so content in you. With tears in my eyes, I poured out to Him. All of my hurt, my pain, my soul ties, my sadness, my rejection, and fears. I laid them at His feet and from that day forward-- I started worshipping Jesus with my life.

I was still getting tested with randoms wanting to date me or go out with me. It was almost like an email blast when out when I got single so guys from ALL over started asking me out. I turned them all down. Nothing could compare to the wholeness... I finally found in Christ alone. After some time passed, and many more tests.. I met my now husband. He walked by me for 3 years at church and the most we said was "hello." Within 20 minutes of talking to each other--we knew that we had met our one-day spouses. There was no question. God's TIMING is PERFECT. I wasn't ready those 3 years.. I just wasn't. But when we met on January 4th 2009, it was the right TIME. Oddly enough, that very day--an ex reached out to me to "get together" but I turned him down. Thank God I did.

After a TON of developing EMOTIONALLY and after my husband going in & plucking out most of the crap that was in my heart from the past randoms--(like being spoiled, manipulating guys, being emotional, etc). He proposed to me 1 year after we started courting. 8 months later.. we got married and kissed for the first time on our wedding day.

                                   (on our honeymoon! :) 1 week after we got married)

This wasn't no fairytale. This was WORK. But the same work the Lord did in me.. He can and will do you in you. So don't give up. Not now, not ever. There was so many times were I felt so alone & so not valued--thinking that "no guy will ever value or respect me"--but I HAD FINALLY get whole & VALUE myself before I expected a man to. You have to understand-- the CARES of this world.. and the temptations will NEVER EVER EVER EVER outweigh God's goodness! HIS ways are perfect!! So let go of the LITTLE that is in your HAND and give your WHOLE life to HIM right now.

If I could scream from the rooftops & show you ANYTHING.. it's to STOP wasting your time. Granted, I still spent time with God through my mess but I didnt' have anyone TELLING me nothing. I was my OWN mentor & it was the blind leading the blind. I don't regret dating my exes. I regret wasting valuable time that could be spent giving my whole heart to Jesus as a single.

And if you haven't joined the pinky promise movement.. Join us. Check out my blog on it here. What is pinky promise? It's a promise to honor God with your body & your life. It was birthed just a couple weeks ago & there's over 1,000 people that joined the movement. Lets go!

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey
(me & my best friends) :)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

"How to Live for Christ in High School & College"

(me in college my senior year with a young girl I met a production shoot!)

So it was on my heart to do a blog about this. I've heard from so many of you that are struggling in College or High School to live for Christ in the midst of a generation that could CARE less about living for God. The people I'm referring to are those that "grew up" in the church. Sadly, most church youth programs tend to focus their energies on providing entertainment and pizza rather focusing on building up the young people in their faith. As a result, our teens are NOT equipped to face the challenges they will encounter in the world upon leaving home. SO then you throw them together with a bunch of coeds that live a few feet away .. what do you THINK is going to happen?! Their hormones are raging and they'll try the first thing that presents itself.

However, there are some of you that REALLY have a strong desire and hunger to live for Christ in the midst of the parties, drinking and sex. Those are the people I'm talking to today. I want you to know that you're not alone. I want you to know that you're so special and so valued by Christ Himself. God has SET you apart so you cannot hang with just ANYBODY. The plans HE has for you are beautiful and even if you messed up.. turn away from your mess ups & turn your heart back to Christ. He has a plan for our many mess-ups.

So while in college, there's a ton of parties, drinking and the Christian crowd seems few & far between. THEN, most of the Christians you know are most likely at the party, drunk or staying the night at their boyfriends house. (hey, I was one of them for at least two years in college.)

So how do you live for Him?

1. Recognize that your value comes from CHRIST alone. You don't need to please anyone or allow anyone to pressure you to do things that you KNOW you should be doing. If you have to do all those things to get someone to like you--you'll have to do those things to GET someone to continue to like you. What a horrible, dysfunctional relationship. LOVE gives the advantage--it doesn’t take it. Friends don’t use you & try to keep the advantage & manipulate you. If you have friends that think you need to act or do things a certain way in order for them to like or approve of you—they’re NOT your friends. I would rather be LONELY then with a bunch of pretend friends. And if you are lonely.. the more time you spend with Christ.. the more fulfilled you will become. Don’t try to conform to the “popular” people to get them to like you. Your liked & LOVED by Christ. So watch out who is influencing you. Period.

2. Find a local church that teaches the word of God--correctly. Most campuses have "a church" where most college students attend. There, you'll meet a ton of great people.

3. Find out what Christian organizations are on your campus. Get involved! You'll meet a ton of people that really have a heart for Christ. Open up your heart to people with your TRUST in Jesus. Not everybody is out to get you and "everybody" shouldn't pay for whoever hurt you in your past.  

4. SPEND time with GOD DAILY. PERIOD. If you scheduled yourself into an 8am class..wake up at 6am. Do what you have to do. He HAS to be first. I blogged about Spending Time w/ God. Check it out -------> here. GOD will show you the hearts of the people around you so you'll have no need of worrying about #3.

5. Cut off that boyfriend that's only interested in foundling you. Ok, maybe ya’ll don't go all the way, but you may as well. You have sex, but with your clothes on. Jesus Christ.. wants your heart & HE gets no glory in that.

6. I remember in High School, I my friends would pressure me to drink. I would go with them to the parties but I'd just be the designated driver. As an adult.. I don't even recommend going as that can place you in a position where you can get in trouble with the LAW by association. I wasn't saved in High School, but I refused to allow myself to let anything control me. Ephesians 5:18 "Don't be drunk with wine (or any other alcoholic beverages), because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit." Makes me think about my old classmate that was out at a party, was drinking too much & then the police tried to pull him over and he went into a high speed chase and crashed into a tree and died instantly. He was a good guy, breaks my heart to this day.

7. Yeah, it's COOL to be saved. People may think that you're a "religious" freak or WHATEVER but PEOPLE are going to THINK what they WANT to think about you. So, who cares!! Isaiah 2:22 says not to put your trust in humans because they are as frail as breath!! If you allow yourself to be controlled by people.. they will have you all stressed out, trying to read their mind! Guess what, they don't know who they are either! They're still trying to figure it out so what do they look like trying to tell you what you can do and cannot do & WHO you should be?! You don't have to go smashing Jesus in everybody's face, but let Him guide & lead you. There's so many hurting people that are your age that NEED HIM. So make living for Jesus look GOOD. People are looking for others to take a stand & lead. Let it start with you--ask God to show you how.

8. Sex...Sex...Sex. Let's talk about it. Hormones are raging, you're exciteddddd. Guess what? There's a 99% chance that you won't marry that person. So--you'll start the pattern of jumping from one person's bed to the next. SLOW down. When  you get to know someone in a group setting—70% of the time, you wouldn’t dare get into a relationship with them in real life. So, slow down. Stop being led by your emotions. And STOP hanging out with those messy horny other teenagers. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says: Do Not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 

9. Joining Organizations. Before we get into the benefits of joining an organization--it's important to ask yourself why you want to join that organization. What is your focus? What is your motive? Are you joining to become popular & to show off to everyone your list of accomplishments that make you feel better about you? Remember, that our value comes from Christ alone. Not any “thing” we do. So if you’re going to join something—make sure God is leading you for the RIGHT reasons. You may say—“Heather, it doesn’t take all that”—I don’t know about you but I’m all about trusting God to make sure that I’m in the right geographical location at the right TIME.

10. Your parents. Ok. Your parents may drive you nuts BUT you may still be under their rules, household or bank account. You may think they don't know anything but they've been where you are & they've "done" all of that. Times HAVEN'T changed. It may be a new generation--but it's the same drama. So, respect, love & honor them. As you get older--you'll REALLY start to appreciate & love them on a whole new level. But why wait until then? Start now.

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey
My new pinky promise tee! :) Cute right? You can order one here:

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