Tuesday, June 30, 2015

"After Graduation & Feeling Purposeless?"

I recall taking an internship my junior year in college (2003) and I had just finished cooking for Jesus & having a "date night. with Him" I was single, focused & very intentional about spending time with God daily. So, as we watched a movie, He told me to turn to TV off. I grabbed a journal and the Lord began to download into my heart. He said,

"Heather, I have called you to preach my gospel. The Gospel of Jesus Christ. You and your one day husband will have a worldwide ministry and millions of people will come into the knowledge of who I am through your ministry. You will travel all over the world and don't be afraid because I will be with you."

I WAS SO EXCITED! The LORD FINALLY TOLD ME MY PURPOSE!! I had been asking Him EVERYDAY for like 6 months so I was thrilled when He made things to plain to me. I recall jumping up & telling my roommate who wasn't a believer! She didn't seem so thrilled & then the Lord told me that everybody isn't going to share in my joy & excitement but it doesn't change what He has called me to do. He also shared that He never told me to tell her. Lesson learned. :) Nonetheless, I felt like I had some type of direction for the first time in my life.


Then I sat there on my bed and thought, wait Lord. I have no ministry experience. I just got saved like 8-9 months ago. I have no parents or even family members in ministry. Wait, you sure that you called ME Lord? I mean, I'm a train wreck. I honestly felt so insufficient. I thought about my past where I chased down bad relationships. I thought about the boyfriend I barely broke up with 3 months ago. I thought about just not feeling enough.

Then, the Lord took me to:

Philippians 1:6
"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

Galatians 3:3
How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?

Then, He took me to Jeremiah 1:7 

…But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am a youth,' Because everywhere I send you, you shall go, And all that I command you, you shall speak. "Do not be afraid of them, For I am with you to deliver you," declares the LORD.  Then the LORD stretched out His hand and touched my mouth, and the LORD said to me, "Behold, I have put My words in your mouth.…"

I realized that if God started this work in me, He will complete it and why was I trying to perfect what HE said to do in my flesh RIGHT after HE told me to do it? THEN, like Jeremiah, I felt like I wasn't ENOUGH. I felt like I stared at all of my flaws and weaknesses and wondered WHY would God use ME? Then I heard a small still voice.. "Heather.. He will put the words in your mouth. He will show you what to do. He will lead you. Slow down and don't rush ahead of God." I realized that I will NEVER be enough in my own strength, power & ability. Its God that is going to have to finish what He started in me. 

So, I moved back to Michigan to finish school at Michigan State University and I was thrilled to only have 1 year left. I was ready to leave Michigan far behind and never look back because I felt like so much of my past was built up there. I wanted a new start in the Lord, a new beginning. So, in my senior year I began to pray about where the Lord wanted me to go and He told me New York. New York? Lord, I have no job, no connects, no nothing.

My graduation party from MSU! Left for NYC right after this photo!


I knew He was telling me to go. I packed up a enterprise van with as much stuff as I could fit and I made my way to New York. My best friend, Delan connected me with one of her friends from her hometown who needed a roommate and I moved in with 2 other girls to Spanish Harlem, NYC (around 118th street and 3rd ave). It's almost like if you think you're going to live for God and everything is going to be all pretty & perfect. Um no. No offense by any means to anyone living there but our area wasn't the safest area at that time. Hey, it was 2004, not sure what it's like now. Our building was run down, I saw a roach for the first time in my life on a regular basis, I saw mice, rats running around-- there was no central AC, lots of gun shots and I never felt totally comfortable living there.


In my NYC Apartment in 2004
God told me to be there. Talk about a season of STRETCHING! I just KNEW that the second I left college, God was going to lay out this perfect, orchestrated plan for my life where I had somewhere to live comfortably, a great paying job, wonderful friends and that perfect preaching husband. 

Psh. I lived where I was most uncomfortable, I worked for free at a job where God told me to tell people about Jesus, I had no friends in NYC, no church home yet (I searched like 20-30 churches) and I only had RANDOMS (men I knew I wouldn't marry but I was bored/lonely so I would hang out with them) pursuing me! I'm like, Lord-- I know you said I'm going to marry a man that preached the gospel but I'm not seeing what you TOLD ME!

I realized that God won't lay out my life on a perfect platter giving me step 1-100. Instead, He leads me with step 1. After I am obedient to what He told me to do, then He shows me step 2. If I ignore God and run from step 3 then I will stay at step 2 until I'm obedient to Him. Some people get stuck and stay at step 3 their whole life because they are afraid of step 3. Can I be honest? I was scared to not be obedient to the Lord. I was afraid of what was on the other side of my disobedience. I mean, I know you want to marry that man, but that man is HOLDING you back from doing what God called you to do. I know you want that job, but that job is keeping you in a state where you aren't supposed to be! I know, you want to please everybody but God never called you to that career! I know you want this or that but if it isn't what God wants for you, IT MUST DIE. 

Matthew 16:25
"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

Now, this isn't a pretty process. It's actually pretty ugly. God literally prunes you from the wrong mindsets, attitudes, relationships and crazy ways of thinking, This pruning doesn't FEEL good. This pruning includes YOU being honest with what God called you to do. Yes, you went to school and took out a bunch of loans to become an engineer because so & so was an engineer in your family. But you know for a fact that God has called you somewhere else. Listen, MONEY will never truly make you happy. It will become your SLAVE as you go into work and HATE your job. Then, you take your frustrations out on everybody else because you're in a job & doing something that you HATE in which.. GOD never told you to do.

I wanted to host TV. I pursued it. I actually got on a pretty big network. But it was MY idea. My plans. My thoughts. My vision. I thought I needed to "create" a platform for Jesus but I realized that God Himself can create the platform & then put me ON it.

 I don't have to go & try to do something & then tag God's name to it. After I stopped trying to tag God's name on everything, I actually let God take me through a process. A process of working at jobs that I wasn't crazy about but I KNEW God told me to go  there to develop in love, patience, character and integrity. Will I bend the rules and take the company car service home when I technically can.. but I shouldn't? Will I use all the ink to print my bible studies and hide it from my boss? Will I jump into gossip and join my co-workers when they cut up?

You won't "all the sudden" ARRIVE at your purpose. It actually takes you being intentional in waking up every morning and living for Jesus. Saying yes to Him and no to your flesh. You can't live any o'le kinda way and expect for the Lord to trust you with your calling! It takes great discipline! I'm not saying that you have to "earn" God because you cannot do that but what I am saying is that He has to be leading you. So, check your heart. Check out your life. Who is making the decisions in your life? Do you even talk to Him? Do you hear His voice? I did a blog on "How to Hear God's voice" and I encourage you to read it if you're struggling there!

Although I was working on Wall Street for a season in my life, I knew that God called called me to something great. I would talk to Him everyday and He would remind me that He has not forgotten about me and that He loves me. If I didn't talk to Him for long periods of time, I would start to feel purposeless. I realized that I needed constantly communication and fellowship
Met my now hubby while serving in those 5 ministries!
with the Holy Spirit to hold on to what God told me. And, while I was doing that I served in ministry. I served in over 5 ministries for about 6-7 years faithfully as a leader. I didn't quit when it got hard. I dealt with mean personalities. I dealt with christians talking behind my back. I went through this pruning process and everything I learned along the journey was NECESSARY for what I'm doing today. I am THANKFUL for the process, the hard times, the journey, the eating eggs every night for dinner because I couldn't afford anything else, the working for free, the volunteering, the whatever else because I was doing it as onto the Lord and NOT man.

Remember that it is GOD alone that placed PURPOSE in you and you will never be satisfied with what you're doing unless you are doing what HE has called YOU to do! For me, I loved helping women, reminding them of their worth, value and pointing them to the cross. It burned my heart to see women settle with the wrong men & to pursue anything outside of Jesus. I wanted to see them flourish in their relationship with God! I wanted to teach them to cook, dress cute & curl their hair so they would feel beautiful on the inside & the out. I didn't want to see them jealous or envious of one another! I wanted to see a generation of women rise up & actually support and push each other closer to Jesus! God used that to start Pinky Promise! What is He telling you to do? It may not happen right away, but it will! Has God called you to bake? Bake for your local church, for free! Has God called you to make modest clothes? Go find some budget fabric and make it work! Has God called you to be a Doctor? Study & show yourself approved and trust Him to use you to be a light!

So, hang in there. Whether you graduated or not, whether you've been searching for a job or looking for a career, slow down and let the Holy Spirit lead you. I saw bits & pieces of God using me over a 9 year time period before I stepped into ministry full time. You have a season and a time under the sun. Be faithful to God RIGHT where you are & let Him lead your path.

Just a few things:

1. Find my (4) books (including my NEW book, "The Runaway Bride"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Midtown Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. 

4. Register for the 2016 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! http://pinkypromise2016.eventbee.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 35,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. Pinky Promise is hosting a statewide baby shower for low income & single mamas in Atlanta, GA on September 12. If you want to donate or be a part of it, please email pinkypromisequestions@gmail.com For donations only, you can send the payment via PayPal to pinkypmovement@gmail.com & be sure to note that its for the Statewide Baby Shower. All donations are tax deductible. 

I love you all so much!
God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey


  1. thank you for sharing this blog post. i had hit a rough patch and this was def encouraging. God bless you, your family, and your ministry!

  2. This is right on time for me! I just graduated in December and I'm working at the company I interned with. Although I have a job I know I'm not walking in my purpose but with that said I know that I am here for a reason. Gods timing is perfect! Thank you for sharing!

  3. Right on time! Gods timing is perfect.

  4. Heather, you made my day. I am currently in an engineering internship out of state and will be graduating next year. I believe that God told me I will own a business, a company in technology. But it is not easy to deal with different personalities especially gossiping about people around you. This message is so timely and encouraging. Thank you. I love you and may God bless you and keep you

  5. Awesome message! I'm waiting for God
    To reveal His purpose for my life to me & this reminded me it's not going to fall out of thin air and I need to be even more intentional than I am! Thanks Heatherđź’•

  6. Thank you for sharing. I woke up this morning feeling worthless. I graduated with my master's degree one-year ago and I'm underemployed. I often wonder why I am still working at the same job when I can make 3 times my current earning. I have been sending out applications, going to interviews, but nothing pinned out. As I read the post, I felt a fire in my heart encouraging me to no be dismayed nor worried; to go through the process with faith and courage.

  7. Oh my goodness... this blog came to me right on time.. I graduated from college last December and I continually find myself feeling lost in life. But you made it very clear with this blog that we must be led by God in order to be whole heartedly content with life.

    Heather! I thank you for all that you do!! You and you Husband are truly amazing!! God has blessed you both abundantly. After coming to the conference a couple of weeks ago I MUST say life has become so much easier for me. I learned that all I have to do is TRUST GOD in all that I do and he will order my steps accordingly!! Thank you! :)

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  10. God bless you for obeying Him, and thank you for doing so. Keep the fire burning

  11. Heather thank you for this message, it was really a word from heaven for me.
    However, I have been asking God for over 10 years now (since I first discovered the topic of purpose and divine calling when I was about 19 and I'm 29 years now) and I seem not to be getting any reply from God or I don't know maybe He speaks and I just don't hear Him. But whatever the case for the past 10 years since I came to knowledge of purpose and divine calling I have been living a somewhat frustrated life because I can't seem to discover what my purpose is.
    I've read in many books on purpose that you can discover your purpose by a divine calling, or a passion/something that you love and find joy doing, or it could also be something that you have a gift for like singing, writing e.t.c. But the problem I seem to have is that since I've been praying to God about this issue He hasn't yet revealed any special assignment to me and I've heard it been said that the people that hear directly from God concerning their purpose are more often than non those that are involved in ministry work and so I'm inclined to believe that I should probably go after a talent or my passion and this also is where the bigger problem lies for me.
    To be continued in next post.

    1. Thanks for sharing your story.

      Maybe you should stop praying about your purpose specifically. Just spend time with him. He might not give you a full blown plan for your destiny but he might lay somethings on your heart. Just spend crazy time with him. People find out there purpose in different ways.

      If you have to.. tune out and just spend one on one time with your first love. It sounds like you feel anxious or nervous but please do not feel this way. God is your father. Speak to him and just rest! Please.

  12. Continuation.....
    Now one thing that I know i really have passion for and I love doing is singing, but I've been told by most of my family members that I don't have the talent or gift of singing and over the years I have come to be greatly discourage by this. I feel like that's the only passion I have and I don't know or haven't yet discovered what other areas I am gifted in. Each time I ask a cousin of mine that I live with what she feels my passion is she always says it's church she says that anything that has to with God that I'm always interested, but the thing is that isn't that suppose to be the passion of every believer regardless of whether they have a calling in ministry or not because she and a few other people I know (including a pastor) seem to think that because I have this passion for the things of God, them maybe I'm meant to be in Ministry, but I've not gotten such calling from God yet.
    Heather one thing I know for sure is that I love to sing and I so much desire to be singing for God's kingdom and blessing lives with my songs and even then I've never really written a song before, I've only been able to write down some words in my song note book ( I bought a song note book to write in just in anticipation that I will get inspired to write) that don't even have any melody to them. I've written a couple of them without melody. Something else you should know is that I was once in the choir in my church and even then I was never selected in church to take a solo or even lead praise and worship because my choir director felt I was not ready and that I had not developed my voice enough (of which she was right because I was having issues with breath control and shyness). This too has also discouraged me from going into the music ministry and most importantly there is also the struggle with a particular sin that I have been facing since I became born again and I also feel that this is the reason why my relationship with God has been so strained and may also be the reason why I have not been able to hear from Him.
    I have a lot that I would like to get clarification about Heather and even just one post will not be sufficient to tell it all. It's really something that I need to discuss one on one with you about cos I'm really not good at writing long stories, but I don't know how that's possible being that I'm far away in Nigeria, and I don't know if you have any plans to come to Nigeria in the nearest future. I'm just so confused right now as to what my purpose in life is and I beat myself up each day about it because the truth is that at 29 I shouldn't I feel I should have a clear direction of what I wanna be in life and the impact i desire to make on earth.
    Please any advice on what I can do? Please I need an urgent reply.
    Thanks and God bless you Heather, I love what you are doing.

    1. Thanks for sharing your story.

      You are not alone in your dilemma, i was there myself but not anymore because i found my purpose in God. But it starts by surrendering and changing the way you think.
      Spend time with God, in God's Word, Prayer and Fasting. surrender all your dreams, goals, plans, family, friends, mind, heart, body, soul, even your singing talent, and anything your are holding on to unto God.
      My dear stop allowing Others' opinions to define YOU, it's only God who can define YOU and that means you need to know what HE says about YOU by studying HIS WORD and allow the HOLY SPIRIT to guide and lead you. Ask God to put new dreams in your heart and re-awaken His dreams, desires and passion for life in you. please check out what 1Corinthians 2:6-13 says!

      You will be amazed by what He has in store for you.


    2. My Nigerian Sister!

      How is home? lol. I miss home so much :). Your story is the story of many believers and unbelievers. Everyone seems to be searching and searching for some sort of self-fulfilment. Jesus said, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest". His desire is for all of humanity to seek Him with all of our hearts and to be devoted to Him through obedience. We seek Him by praying and studying His word and we obey Him by doing what His word says. Do this and you will find rest. This is what the Lord requires of us.

      You were right in saying this, "Each time I ask a cousin of mine that I live with what she feels my passion is she always says it's church she says that anything that has to with God that I'm always interested, but the thing is that isn't that suppose to be the passion of every believer regardless of whether they have a calling in ministry or not because she and a few other people I know (including a pastor) seem to think that because I have this passion for the things of God, them maybe I'm meant to be in Ministry, but I've not gotten such calling from God yet". Yes, that definitely should be the passion of every believer. The believer who has the "behind the scenes" ministry of homeschooling her children or caring for sick older people should be burning for God and preaching the gospel and making disciples of Christ where ever she finds herself. This is the great commision that was given to All Christians.

      The doctrine of finding our God given purpose is a strange doctrine that seems to cause alot of stress to believers and since unbelievers are also searching for the same thing, I think that it is a search for self-fulfilment. I call it a strange doctrine because Jesus and the Apostles never taught this to the church. There is no account of them telling the church to find their God given purpose and no account of the believers spending relentless hours on end, straining and searching for it. Many times in the church, traditions of people, philosophies etc, have crept in and the church has given them the stamp of approval as doctine. Generations down the road, we still follow these traditions and wonder why we are so stressed out and unfulfilled, meanwhile, we don't see these teachings in the New Testament.

      Sister, God has given us a multitude of gifts. He has said that whatever our hands find to do, do it all as unto the Lord. I would like to encourage you to be content today. The worries of today are sufficient says The Lord. When you wake up today and every other day, glorify God in everything that you do by doing it excellently and without complaints and carry out the great commision. If you feel a burden in your heart to do anything, like song writting, singing to the less fortunate etc, do it. You are free in Christ to do all that is good. If you really want to sing, invest in voice training, music classes, etc. Harness the gift and do it as unto the Lord.

      I hope this helps girl :). Remember that our Lord will be returning soon and there are plenty of lost souls out there that need to hear the gospel. Take courage and find rest in the Lord Jesus Christ. In Him, you have all that you need.

  13. Im so glad I found your Blog I have been reading since the beginning and I know that it wasn't a mistake that God led me to you. I have change alot of my ways since reading your blog, although I have a lot of work to work on I believe in God will get through. for so long I been wanting to hear God voice and now I know I have to earn that. im at a point I don't even know what im supposed to I have change my career all the time, and till this day im not 100% sure yet. Im strugling with a lot of stuff and i'm trying everyday to be content no matter what thanks to you Im not complaining as much anymore.

  14. Heather,
    As many of your readers have indicated, I too feel that I did not run across your blog and YouTube videos by accident. God lead me to you and I am so glad that He did. Each and every topic that you have discussed, I completely relate and understand. In this blog when you stated that God leads our lives in steps and if you are disobedient and run away from God during those steps, you end of staying stuck because you are afraid to move on to the next step. Well, that is exactly where I am with my life journey. I feel that God is guiding me but the place where he is taking me is unfamiliar and out of my comfort zone. When you spoke of God pruning us from old mindsets. I am there to. I literally feel alone at times but I know that God did not give us the spirit of fear and He is with us at all times. I am letting my mind and emotions determine my decisions and not God. Reading this blog along with knowing that God is in control of my life and all of our lives, I am going to be obedient and do as God is telling me.
    God Bless you Heather and your ministry.

  15. I have a sincere question... (this is in regard to the career standpoint, not involving the God-designed man/future husband portion). I saw that you noted how you at first tried to create your own platform (via TV) but God led you otherwise and created the platform Hisself and put you on it (awesome testimony). But, my question is- what if you patiently wait to hear from God (rather than pursue your own passions/ideas) and get to later in life and find you haven't really progressed? -Not from a carnal (not using your 'spiritual eyes', so-to-speak) perspective, but from a practical/realistic front. It may sound lacking in faith, but this is a very big concern for me (being in my mid-30s). I do have dreams and careers I want to pursue, and have been seeking God for HIS perspective and HIS purpose for me. I have not gotten confirmation as of yet... But, I don't want to Not try for my dreams in the process...only because I strongly feel that I'll regret it if I don't. And...suppose I stay in the same place (career-wise) down the road? (just like a person can wait on God for their husband and end up never marrying. That very well could be a reality. Not that you necessarily won't be fulfilled, but it's reality. It happens. [Disclaimer] Yes, I am a Holy-Ghost filled believing Christian...this question is not due to lack of faith... I think one needs to be 'ok' no matter HOW things turn out in reality (whether or not marriage is in the future, or they end up in career of choice....etc). Thanks.

    1. Hi there,
      Maybe you should stop praying about your purpose specifically. Just spend time with him. He might not give you a full blown plan for your destiny but he might lay somethings on your heart. Just spend crazy time with him. People find out there purpose in different ways.

    2. Hey friend!

      I totally understand where you might be coming from. I think that sometimes the things we are interested in are Gods gifts to us. So keep moving in the direction of the things you are interested in until He tells you to stop. I firmly believe that as a Christian who seeks God daily, His desires transform my desires so until He shows me an area in my desire that does not align with His Word or His plan, I keep moving!


  16. Though of us struggle in the area of our calling, obedience is what brings an outpouring of blessings upon our life! We want GOD to move on our behalf, but we won't move for God! Surrender and yield to the Lord so you can produce good fruits.

  17. Great post! Thanks :)

  18. As I lay here newly wed at home now when I was a single mother from 19 years raising my three kids which all grown up and I am a house wife. I pray and ask God whats next. I have my own online business and husband has our trucking business which he is on the road a lot. Just had a miscarriage and so much have happen positively in my life. I love and obey God! I want and desire his will for our life. I am in place of whats next God .. Please keep my husband and I in prayer


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