SOO.. you have butterflies, he's so gorgeous, he sends you the sweetest messages, he's EVERYTHING you've ever wanted, He's your soulmate!!
Ok, well, whoever told you that- LIED to you. Your soul is your mind, will and emotions. And whether you believe it or not, these three areas need to be developed. It's how you think, it's how you feel and how your past experiences play into who you are today. So if you really think, some man off the street can come in and make you feel fuzzy and warm forever and take away all of that pain from your soul?! Girl, please. That takes work. And with the WRONG man, he won't be equipped to recognize what you really need.
So, then-- after 6 months and you have a couple arguments, he constantly tries to screw you and succeeds often, you repent and find that you keep compromising with this fool then, you can't stop because lasciviousness (inability to stop) has creeped in-- ya'll break up and everyone asks why? You say, because he' did this and that.. but you in all honestly, Neither YOU or HOMEBOY had standards to shut your flesh down and submit to God's word.. So you didn't see it was WORTH developing with that person, so you let them go on their way. Did you know when you have sex with a person before marriage you are ROBBING that man from growing emotionally (you too!)? No wonder' ya'll fightin' all the time. And it's not just sex for those of you ladies who wanna do everything but sex. It's all the same. Don't turn on that physical button with that man, because you'll desire to do SO much more. Set boundaries. Serve God with your body. And if that man keeps tryin' he don't love you. He lusts you. Love yourself enough to get out.
Luke 14:28 says "For which of you ladies, intend to build a tower (relationship) sitteth not down first and count the COST of it, to see if you got enough in you to finish it?!
And guess what, you didn't count the cost of it, or check out your motive for wantin' that man (impatience, you gettin' old, you lonely, everyone's getting married) and now you got hurt again. So.. that means you have have another foundation laid of hurt to go on top of the last guy and the 5 others before him. Didn't you know that if you keep laying that foundation you will NEVER be free?! You are laying your foundation on "Sand" and not ROCK (Matthew 7:25). So the wind and storms came and knocked your little foundation down. It'll keep knocking it down until you go get you some rock and start rebuilding.
When you do meet the RIGHT one, he'll challenge your tail, it won't be easy because he'll be a mirror to you constantly "plucking" (thanks Cornelius for the use of that word! :)) out different areas of your life that you need to work on. I sure wouldn't say that it's all that pretty but the fruit of it is EVERLASTING and beautiful. Slow down and BUILD your house of standards so some fool can't come and tear your house down and have you all messed up.
Thanks, Heather for another great post. I have a question, hopefully you can clarify for me. When you say "When you do meet the RIGHT one, he'll challenge your tail, it won't be easy because he'll be a mirror to you constantly "plucking" (thanks Cornelius for the use of that word! :)) out different areas of your life that you need to work on." -- How can you tell the difference between a man who is challenging you to do better and a man who is "challenging" you to be who he wants you to be/to change you? That's something I struggle with and in turn I can be stubborn because I never know :-/
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Hi Keeta!
ReplyDeleteGreat question! How do you know? The PROOF is in the pudding! My husband challenged me and it always pushed me towards Christ. I saw myself getting better over time. He was patient with me in the areas that I struggled with and he focused on helping me in my problem areas. For example, when I would try to get my own way by manipulation--I would cry and throw a "fit"--he would pretty much ignore me. Wouldn't answer the phone or anything! I was livid! Thankfully, he did. It forced me to go to Christ to "grow up"--He didn't entertain my cries for help to get my own way. Cornelius wasn't trying to change my passion or who I was.. he did help refine me though over time. I knew he wanted me to dress classier so over time--I did because I wanted to serve him but he took it a day at a time. Prior to my husband, I did date a guy who tried to change me. It caused me to be insecure & feel like I wasn't good enough. I saw no growth in myself as I knew he was pushing me away from Christ--not to Him. I hope this helps!
Yes! That makes total sense. Thanks for explaining that for me!!
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