"10 Years of Being Saved: What I've Learned"

I absolutely, positively love living for Jesus. Since this year marks my 10th year of being a Christian & pursuing a relationship with Him.. I find that my love for Christ has deepened in ways that I never imagined. I figured I would write a few quick things that I've learned over this time period. Note that I've learned so much more, this is just what God placed on my heart.
Over these past years, I've learned this:

1. This walk is a journey, not a sprint. Sometimes, God delivers me from areas quickly, others-- it takes discipline, time, prayer and to be intentional about doing my part. We have to guard our hearts against silly TV shows, music or people that try to push us away from Christ.

2. Don't put your trust in humans, they're as frail as breath. (Isaiah 2:22). Humans will praise you one day, and find something to talk about you the next. I adore people, I really do-- but my hope ain't in them. This also goes for your "friends." I've learned that real friends don't leave you because "they stick closer than a brother"(prov. 18:24) -- most acquaintances are seasonal friendships and are situational. Meaning, you live down the street or we attend school together so it's easy for us to be friends. The second it's no longer easy, we most likely won't put forth the effort to be friends. Does this mean you are bitter towards them? No! Of course not, they just weren't qualified to continue life with you. I'm sure they're still good people, but they just can no longer rock with YOU. And don't sabotage your prayers being bitter towards someone that rejected you. Pray for them & allow God to melt your heart.

3. Spending time with God daily has been one of the most important things in this walk. Waking up, turning on worship music, singing, praying, journaling and reading my bible will KEEP your heart pure & right before the Lord. You cannot get away with silly attitudes or rolling your eyes when you spend time with God on a regular basis. The Holy Spirit checks you really quick. I blogged about "How To Spend Time With God" so be sure to check it out.

4. God's timing is perfect. God's isn't on my calendar or anybody else's who is trying to pressure me to do things in a specific time period. There are seasons for every part of your life and if you try to rush God, you'll create an entire season out of His timing and.. one that He's not included in.. 

5. Be honest with God. He already knows your messed up heart and even if you're plastering a smile on your face, He knows the depths and the brokenness of your heart. Be totally honest with Him. He can work with you as you cast your care onto Him.

6. Waiting to kiss until your wedding day is so worth it. I learned to respect my husband in ways I never imagined. Especially since we have a ministry.. I needed to get that foundation of respecting him early on. I love being a wife and mother -- so remember this: whoever you choose to marry, get ready to be ok with producing kids that act and look like daddy (or mama if you're a male reading this). Make sure that you're BOTH pursuing Christ and are EQUALLY YOKED. Period.

7. God won't just let you walk away from Him. He will literally fight for you. You've come too far.

8. Rejoice during tests. God is using pulling some stuff out of you that isn't like Him. Stop running from God & running to your past. You need Him, not another void filler.

9. When you're living for Christ, you have to obey step one before you get to step two. When I first got saved, the first thing God told me to do is to break things off with my little boyfriend that was pushing me away from Christ. I continued in that relationship while begging God for direction. He told me that I need to obey step one before trying to get new instructions. 

10. God will open the right doors and you sure don't have to kiss anybody's butt for it to happen. God will equip, direct and lead you in your purpose. God told me that I was going to preach and share Christ with this world in 2003-- I didn't see that fruit until 2011-2012. BUT He USED every season in my life leading up to this season to PREPARE me. Every job, every boss, every situation developed my love walk and the fruit of the spirit on my life.

11. Bonus: You cannot change people. Prayer is one of the most selfless acts of love that you can give someone. Instead of trying to change everyone, submit everyone to God in prayer. God will melt your heart for that person and instead of being bitter towards them, you'll begin to love the person you once hated. And just because you forgave them, doesn't mean you run and open a door that God closed. Be God-led in this life instead.

12. Bonus: Finally, most importantly, God is my strength, hope, joy, peace, Father, protector and everything else. I'm thankful that He chose me & called me by name. I am nothing without Him. I look forward to standing before God & hearing Him say "well done." Just brings tears to my eyes. Whew'.

Gosh, I've learned so much more.. but I wanted to share a few things with you. If you're feeling weary, God is your strength. (Isaiah 40:31)

Hang in there. He's with you.

Just a few things:

1. I am opening up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think modest, fashionable, affordable clothes for women! Opening day of the boutique: October 15th via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out!www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 16,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. I'm headed to London October 25th and I would LOVE to meet you if you're out there! Be sure to register for the events via www.heatherllindsey.com

8. I'm headed to New Birth Outreach tomorrow morning and I'm speaking at 10:30AM. Would love to meet you! Register via www.heatherllindsey.com

God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey

Valentines Day: Single Awareness Day?

So, February 14th has rolled around and you're single again. You may have a few quick thoughts about it.

1. Dang, I'm single again & it's another stupid holiday where I have to hear about peoples love for each other. 

2. Forget a relationship, there's no good men out there.

3. I'm content in Christ. (talking yourself into it)

4. No, really-- I'm chilling. I trust God's timing & I've TRIED to make it happen by myself & it doesn't work-- so I'm really trusting Him. (And you really mean it)

And in all honesty, you're probably thinking-- Heather cannot understand what I am going through because she's married. Honey, I've been single. I had to be single at one point in order to get married. And if I was single, you would probably say: "How can you speak on what I'm going through & you single with me- you don't have a man!" I'm writing this very blog because I understand what you're going through. I know that feeling and those thoughts that pop in your head & say "How much longer, God?" or "When is my time?" You may look around you and see a bunch of standard less men & think-- will I ever meet a guy that actually .. loves God, won't screw me, recognizes his purpose & really lives for Christ?? YES! IT IS SO POSSIBLE!!!!! The question is, are you going to have a pair of thighs in your bed tonight as you deal with your loneliness OR are you going to sit at the feet of Christ and enjoy Him?

 You cannot get so tired of being single that you settle and go out with some random man today or any other day-- "just to do something." You will go out to the restaurant and see all of these other happy couples and it will make you want what they have.  You'll compare your life to their life as you snuggle up to this man that you know is more interested in taking you home & exploring your body than setting boundaries and actually living by them. You really don't know him, but you tonight is fun to you because you can pretend that you have a real relationship. Then, after dinner-- you'll go back and forth with yourself on the ride home. Should I invite him up? Should I not? Gosh, he's fine. We're having such a good time. He makes me laugh. I don't want this night to end! So now, your emotions are leading your life. So, you'll invite him upstairs. I mean, you're not really going to do anything, right? You have this under control. So you're upstairs and you know it's wrong. Yes. You. With your arms raised in the church, serving the Lord on Sunday. You don't want to do it (so you say). But your actions prove otherwise. Your actions prove that you want what pleases your flesh. You are tired of being alone and it's much better to feel temporary pleasure than to deal with feeling lonely. So, one thing leads to the next & you end up having sex with him.

Then, the overwhelming guilt overwhelms you. WHY WHY WHY you ask yourself! WHY did I fall yet again to this same temptation?!??! WHY can't I just live for Christ? Why can't I meet anyone who will wait for me & honor my body? And WHY did his phone ring afterward at 3AM from some chick named Tiffany who cannot wait to see him again soon & do dirty things to him? And you didn't have a condom- but whatever you think. You begin to not even care about your own body. You think God hates you when He really loves you. You think that you'll never be forgiven so you don't bother repenting.

Three months later. You find out you have a STD and you're pregnant and you haven't heard from him since that day. He's changed his number and you have a baby on the way. You're about to be a single mother and this was never the plan.

If only you knew the end from the beginning. If only you knew, you would never, ever would have gone out with Him. Let's evaluate a few things. 

1. Most likely, the Holy Spirit told you NOT to go out on that date. It's like.. you got this check in your spirit. But you rationalized and ignored it. A little date won't hurt anybody. When God checks you-- HE is WARNING you. You have to listen to that gut check in your stomach.

2. Then, when the thoughts began to pop in your head & even consider having sex with the man, you should have 2 Corinthians 10:5 those thoughts by "Casting down every thought that is contrary to God's word by speaking the Word over your life." Just because you messed up and when on the date doesn't mean you continue in your sin & throw out the bible. Fight BACK. 

3. Then, we have to look at 1 Corinthians 10:13- "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." So, God is saying that I WILL GIVE YOU A WAY OUT!! Don't GIVE IN!! Even if you are in a so-called committed relationship, having sex outside of marriage will NEVER glorify God. If you want to be committed to each other- prove it & get married. Don't feed me the "we only have sex with each other lie"-- because you've made each other your gods & are using worldly reasons for not getting married. The bible tells us to flee fornication. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." (1 Corinthians 6:18)

4. Now, you have a STD & a child on the way. Don't beat yourself down, prayerfully-- you can get medicine and believe God for your healing. Hopefully it's curable. There ARE consequences for disobedience to God and although God may be forgiving and loving-- HIV, Herpes & AIDS may not be. The Lord has a plan for your child & so repent of your past sin and raise that child to learn and know Christ.

5. Bet you didn't think all of the above would happen based on a little date? I want to encourage you to be God-led in every decision that you make. Talk to the Holy Spirit. Vent and be honest-- Tell Him you want a spouse! Tell Him you want to do it His way & then start actually LIVING like it. If your one day husband did happen to walk by your home, would he see you getting out of the car & going into the house with some man super late? Are you avoiding the appearance of evil? Can God even BRING your spouse or is that seat always taken by Jimmy, Tom and Dejuan?

Some of you may think I'm too deep. Saying, it doesn't take all that Heather! Actually, it does take all that. God commands us to be holy as He is holy!! Why do we think we can belittle the holiness of God based on our limited mindset???!

Now, you have a choice. You can either be single God's way or single the worlds way. If you want to be single God's way, then today is a beautiful day because you know at the right TIME, you'll be in a relationship. It's just NOT your time yet. So you'll stay off of Facebook, Instagram or whatever else distracts you today into feeling sorry for being single. You must guard your heart at all times. You won't watch Scandal & other sex-adultry-driven shows because you're working on something and you cannot afford to plant those things in your heart. You will ENJOY this season because you know its temporary and each season in your life builds up to the next one.

Or, you can be single the worlds way. Go find you a date on Match.com, get you some sex and suffer the consequences. You may not see yourself suffering right away-- but when you're living outside God's will for your life and taking your life into your OWN hands, you will suffer. "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:12. So what "seems right to you?" Does having sex outside of marriage "seem" right? Does dating randoms "seems right?" Does staying with that unsaved guy "seem" right because you're trying to get him saved? What lie have you picked up over the years and called it your truth? Just because you BELIEVED the lie in your head doesn't mean that God agrees with it. 

If you really want God's best for your life, it's going to cost you something. Stop skipping around here & living the way that you want to live.. & then wonder why life isn't working for you. Go back to your FIRST love. "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love" - Revelation 2:4 Many people will celebrate today and wish they were in your shoes if they were single. They WISH the would have slowed down, trusted God & NOT married the person they married. They had all of the warning signs but instead-- they ignored them. They liked the IMAGE of but didn't understand the work & effort that went into it. 

Today & everyday after is what you make it. I would have never met my husband if I kept me a little boyfriend on the side. How can God trust me with one of His sons if I wasn't one of His daughters? We can say we want a godly man-- but if we continue to cuss like a sailor, drop it like everything is hot, argue with everyone, sleep with everyone... we're showing who our father really is. We will attract the same kind of man based on how we act & live. Just "saying" you're a daughter doesn't make you one. How you live this life identifies WHO your father really is.

Few reminders:
My husband wrote an amazing book, "So, You Want To Be Married" & you can find it here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com. It ties in with what I wrote above & so much more.

If you need accountability, JOIN a Pinky Promise group. You can find a group in your local area-- there's over 10,000 women that have joined in the past year.  www.pinkypromisemovement.com 

You can find fabulous purity rings and bracelets that remind you of your decision to honor God here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com  And just for reading today's blog- you'll get 10% off of your order. Use the discount code LOVE

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"How To Prepare for Marriage"

                          (flirting with my hubby! :) We hosted an event a couple weekends ago in AL)

Ok, so you may see the title and think in your head-- YES! I'm about to get WORKING on this list of HOW I can prepare for marriage. I think as Christians, we can be SO .. works minded. We just say, "give me this list & I'm going to do it & I'm going to be prepared for marriage." Although I am going to give you some practical TIPS, nothing can prepare you MORE for marriage than the Holy Spirit who guides your life. Granted, reading books, studying, praying for your one-day spouse are all GREAT things. I am not saying don't get knowledge-- but the MORE you know-- the more accountable you will be to that information. 

Even if you do all of these things to prepare for marriage I want you to know that in marriage.. you will have your bad days. You will have days where you don't feel good and you don't feel like cooking or cleaning. You will have days where you want to quit your job. You will have days where your spouse is driving you up the wall. You will have days where you feel lonely. You will have days where you feel broken. You will have days where you don't want to be bothered. A list of top ten whatever will be thrown out the window. You will know what to do, but you still won't do it because of pride, hurt or whatever else. 

Marriage is beautiful. It really is. But if you're a train-wreck as a single, reading a page long blog sure won't make your marriage work. The only One that can fix what is going on in your heart is CHRIST alone. If you're bitter at every person that is getting married, having kids or getting a promotion then not even a marriage is going to make it better. A marriage will only reveal more of your heart and include someone else into your life. If you marry a man that doesn't understand your past or that he is supposed to LEAD you & go into your heart & pluck out the wrong areas and lead you toward's healing & Christ-- you'll marry a man that gets MAD at your past. He won't know how to deal with it. He'll stay frustrated, so will you. You won't submit. He won't die to himself. Thus, why the divorce rate for Christians is at 50%.

I'm not one for formulas. I believe God is very creative but I believe examples encourage us & remind us to trust God. 

You finally recognize that no man can fill your little voids. As soon as you decide to cut off all men that distract you.. then, 10 more try to date you. You continue to take the steps needed because you KNOW that it's not your time for a relationship. A mature woman knows that if she gets into a relationship right now-- that she will MESS up somebody's life. So she cuts out all of the idols. She gets quiet before God. She spends time with God daily & gets into that secret place. She knows that it's not enough to say "I pray throughout the day & spend time with God that way--I don't have set aside time."--she has both. She understands that talking to God throughout the day is BIRTHED from that secret PLACE. She continues to stay on her face before God before she heads off to to work & throughout her day. Her friends get married around her & she's so excited for THEM because her contentment comes from that secret place of quiet time with God & not some external circumstance. She doesn't compare her life to others. She is continually pursued by men-- I mean GOOD men. Christian lawyers.. doctors whoever else. But still..she's not attracted to them. She doesn't have peace about pursing a relationship with those guys. So she stays quiet before God. Time continues to pass & she continues to stay consistent in her relationship with God. She knows what God called her to do & she don't wavier from it. The holidays roll around and you're sitting at home alone with your family. Your family is on you about your clock ticking & being single. You smile & remind them that God's timing is perfect as His peace overwhelms your heart. The jabs about your single life.. no longer bother you. You long for that secret place to spend time with God away from humans.. because there's nothing like Him. So you pull away from your family & find a quiet room. You sit before God and tell him that you would rather be single for the NEXT 10 years then to date another random. 

10 days later you meet your husband and you recognize him within 10 minutes. 

This was my story. I believe that I best prepared for marriage by taking my eyes off of marriage & putting my eyes on Christ. I used my example because I saw a shift in my life where my heart went from getting the attention of some little boy to sitting at the feet of Jesus. Regardless of how long you wait for you husband I want to encourage you to STOP waiting. Lets look at the definition of waiting:

wait·ing  (w'tng)
n.
1. The act of remaining inactive or stationary.
2. A period of time spent waiting.

So if we're looking at the definition it tells me that its a period of being inactive or stationary. YOU should NEVER be inactive in your walk with God. We should always be moving forward in a direction of RUNNING towards HIM. If single or married-- one thing should be consistent and that is your walk with God. It shouldn't change. So if you're sitting around--just a-waiting for your one-day husband; you may wait a long time. Don't you get a little impatient as you wait at the doctors office and you're just sitting in this little room and it takes FOREVER for the doctor to finally see you? You're thinking.. you just wasted an hour of my life that I cannot get back. Then, imagine hanging with your best friend in the world! You only have an hour lunch & you're just chatting and then you look up and it's been one hour. You say "Gosh, time flew by!!" Do you see the difference? YOU STOPPED WAITING. You didn't look at the clock. You didn't compare your life to others. You were having a blast by hanging out with your best friend. THIS is how it should be with God. We should be so enjoying Him and His presence then we look up and say-- gosh, God. Time FLEW by! Now, you presented your best to me. This is so cool! I wasn't even sweating anyone & you totally hooked me up! Thanks Jesus! You're like amazing! :) 

Ok, now that we have the basics DOWN pat-- I can give you some basic 101. I like practical tips because I believe that as women-- we should bring more to the table of a marriage then some eye liner and lipstick. 

1. Take a cooking class. And not just some southern fried chicken class. You don't need to assist in pumping your family with unhealthy foods & aiding in a shorter life span. Take a HEALTHY eating cooking class. Introduce healthier lifestyles into your families life. My husband didn't want a southern woman that only cooked friend chicken and grits. He wanted a woman that would cook healthy & show him a different lifestyle of eating. When I was single, I would cook meals for my roommate. It's a good test to have a close friend who can be honest about your foods to help you to grow. In addition to that-- check out the raw food diet & get books on it. Do cleanses. Be intentional about learning. 

2. Develop some fruit of the spirit. Are you loving, kind, patient? Use the tests and trials that come from your job, your family and other life situations to develop you. You should have some fruit on your tree. You're going to need that patience in a marriage. 

3. Stop dumping every friend that makes you mad. Now, I'm not saying that everybody should be in your life but I am saying that we get rid of people so quickly without even DEVELOPING those friendships. Are you the type of person that gets scared of a commitment of a friendship or anyone getting close to you in fear of getting hurt? Face that fear with the Holy Spirit. He has not given you the spirit of fear-- but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) The more you dump every friendship and every family member that rubs you the wrong way-- the more conflict you will have in marriage. You must learn to develop relationally. If you practice dumping every person when you get married, you will only continue the divorce you practiced. Let God lead you in your relationships. It cannot possibly be everybody else-- YOU may have a part to play in that and you may be running from a really great friendship. 

4. Clean your house. Honestly, I'm still working on this area. I NEVER had to clean up after myself thanks to my mother :). But no excuses-- I've learned to clean up as I go and to pick up after myself. Depending on if your hubby is a neat freak or not-- it will help if you practice being organized. 

5. Pay your bills on TIME. When two people get married-- you both take on each others debt. You become ONE. Your money is she money. She money is he money. So don't bring 500,000 of debt in credit cards. Discipline yourself & buy what you NEED. Plus, what if you want to purchase a house.. or a car & you want to take out a loan and they need both of your credit background?

6. BOOKS! I recommend reading about marriage. If someone has been there & done that and is a successful in their marriage-- why wouldn't we pull from their experience? My husband wrote a book called "So, you want to be married?"-- you can check it out here: www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com and if you want it on kindle, go to amazon & type in "Cornelius Lindsey." God has so many avenues that He uses to help us along the way. We get a ton of feedback from people and they say "I wish someone told me this when I was single"-- I'm we're like-- we tried to tell you! You just didn't listen! lol 

7. A life. I know you're thinking-- a life? Yeah, a life. Figure out what God called you to do. Inside of you is so many gifts and talents. I was in grad school when I met my husband, working on wall street, writing a book, working with a ton of young girls--mentoring, teamed up with ACS--and I mentored displaced young girls that had family struggles, I was involved in 5 ministries at my church and I traveled all over. When you get married, you don't want to sit around and just watch your husband. YES we make him our priority and all that good stuff but get busy about what God has called YOU to do and make sure whatever it is' doesn't distract you from your priority which is God and your husband. 

8. Work out! If you worked out single, why wouldn't you work out married? Let's make sure we stay in shape and create habits of staying healthy in every way! Find a gym, go to a track-- include working out into your daily regimen! I always say that the external man is NO WHERE as near as important as the internal man.. but if you walk around in sweatpants with your hair wrapped up and some flip flops all day.. you have to remember that a man is VISUAL. So look good for YOU. Get up, do your hair, put on some bronzer & lip gloss. Look cute for you & your husband, Jesus. :)

9. Wisdom with spending! Ladies-- you don't have to pay full price for everything! You can even make some DIY things for your home to make it more comfy! Check out vintage thrift stores, Ebay, Pintrest and other avenues to be more creative if you lack in these areas! You may say that you don't  have the time or energy but again-- even in my own marriage- I see my husband may think he has to pay full price for something and with a little research online, I was able to save him 50%! 

10. Spending time with God daily. THIS is the most important one. Period. Create a habit of spending time aside from everyone and everything. You are going to NEED it in your one-day marriage. Trust me. God knows your husband and he can give you the hook-up on how he works! Even as a single, you can be praying for your one-day husband that he has a heart that's turned towards God. Again, don't make it your FOCUS-- include it in your prayers in general. 

Ok, that's it for now. I am praying for you who desire to be married. Today, we learned that sitting at the feet of Jesus is where we prepare for not only marriage-- but every area of our life. Let's keep our focus on Him & not a human. 

Andddd I have an announcement. As most of you may or may not know-- we are expecting a Baby Lindsey!! :) We're SO excited to announce that we will meet baby Lindsey in March 2013! We're OVERJOYED at the idea of being parents & pouring into our very own. I will blog more about motherhood and what I learned-- and I'm writing a book for you soon-to-be mothers! :)

4 Months Pregnant! :) 

Don't forget!

If you want some cute Pinky Promise jewelry, shirts, or journals go here:

If you want to sign up for a local Pinky Promise Group in your area-- go here! There's about 5300 girls in groups all over the world! Pretty awesome! Go here: 

If you want to sign up for the Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta--I would LOVE to see you! More details are here: 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 

(Me & my fine hubby!)