Why You Shouldn't Be Jealous Of Anyone

In the world of social media, it's so easy to become jealous of other people. The Internet can absolutely make you feel like you're behind. It seems like everyone is super happy, everyone has the perfect lighting, the perfect husband, the perfect life, the perfect clothes, the most well-behaved children, the perfect home cooked meals every night, the perfect ministry or whatever else. It may seem like everyone has the perfect Pinterest life and meanwhile, you are over there, struggling with your portion. I challenge and urge you today, to look at your own heart and see if there are any seeds of jealousy and bitterness towards anyone.

I have learned that being jealous starts with a small seed being planted and then it grows into a harvest that accuses and becomes jealous of others.

For example, when I was in college, a beautiful dark-skinned woman came up to me and said, "I don't like you because you are light skinned, with light eyes and long hair." And, she walked away.

I stood there stunned. Wait, huh? I am SO nice!! Why wouldn't you like me? I realized in that moment that maybe experienced some hurt with someone who looked somewhat like me in the past. So, she slowly became jealous of me because of the way that I looked. I'm thinking, "Honey, I didn't sign up for this - I was literally born this color. She would roll her eyes at anything that I said and it wasn't even because of me, but because of the way I looked. I knew that her not liking me was not a reflection of me, but a reflection of her. I didn't do anything to her. And, in her own life, that seed of jealousy was planted in her heart from the past grew a harvest. Over time, I got an opportunity to speak with her and we started to get to the root of the problem. It turns out her boyfriend left her for someone that looked like me and she felt that the way I looked was more favorable than the way she looked. I stood there stunned.

Girl.

"You are BEAUTIFUL! From the top of your head to the soles of your feet! You have NO reason to be jealous of ME or of anyone else!"

You know when you're jealous of someone because every single thing that they do becomes irritating to you. You try to pick them apart and find something not to like about that person. You go from tolerating them, to accusing them and becoming suspicious of that person. You rationalize your thoughts because "you know that something just ain't right." Then, you are convinced that your opinion of that person is what God really thinks about that person.

Do you know that God has NOTHING to do with your negative thoughts and accusations towards that person? The DEVIL himself is coming to kill, steal and to destroy your life. If he can cause more confusion and division between you and a sister in Christ - he has succeeded. Are you taking the BAIT from satan? Some of us willingly walk up to him and take the bait and end up hating everyone all because jealousy and envy stuck its ugly head into our relationships.

Now, I am here for being discerning when it comes to people as we are led by the Holy Spirit. There's a huge difference between being Holy Spirit led and being led by our feelings or opinions towards that person.

What does jealousy do?

• Jealousy robs you from relationships and it keeps you from being content with what God has called you to do. Jealousy says, "I don't look like that and I cannot do it like her so I measure myself against her and I deem myself as not enough." 
• Jealousy ruins your confidence because you place your hope in what you can see and not who God called you to be. 
• Jealousy is a sin. And if God hates it, we should too.
• Jealousy makes you feel discontent with your portion which means that you will never be satisfied with who you are. 
• Jealousy is dangerous because the more you compare your life to others, the more you will focus on what you are not and you will stay in that place for the rest of your life. Some people continue to go around the "I hate everyone" mountain and will look at 50 years old, still tearing people apart with their thoughts and words. 

When I think about the story of the woman I met in college, my heart breaks. How many of us see ourselves in her? So, instead of celebrating others, you seek ways to tear others down. Instead of bringing peace, you create drama and confusion online and in your own life to make you feel better about your hate.

The devil himself became jealous and envious of God and wanted to be him. He no longer was satisfied in being the beautiful angel that God created him to be. Pride slipped into his heart and it's shown here in Isaiah 14:12–14

12 “How dare you are fallen from heaven,

O Day Star, son of Dawn!

How you are cut down to the ground,

you who laid the nations low!

13 You said in your heart,

I will ascend to heaven;

above the stars of God

I will set my throne on high;

I will sit on the mount of assembly

in the far reaches of the north;3

14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds;

I will make myself like the Most High.’

Do you see all of those I's. I WILL be like this. I will do that. I, I, I. Selfishness and bitterness is all wrapped up in "I." Life because all about YOU and how YOU feel. Meanwhile, the Holy Spirit is saying in 1 Corinthians 13:4 .. Love is patient. It's kind. It's not boastful, proud or rude. It's not JEALOUS.

So, if we know that jealousy is not from God - it's clearly from the devil and his selfish ways.

Here's a few tips for anyone who may be struggling in this area. 

1. Pray for whoever you're jealous of. Yes. Pray. This will soften your heart towards them and help you to see them the way that God see's them.

2. Cast down bad jealousy thoughts that attack you throughout the day. Remind yourself that you are a new creation through Christ Jesus and that your old man is GONE. 

3. Unfollow people that cause you to stumble until you're strong enough to be around them and follow them. 

4. Spend time sitting at the feet of the Father. The more time you spend with God, the less you will blame others for your portion. 

5. Refuse to gossip, spread gossip or hang out with people that are intentional about drama and confusion. 

If you're struggling with jealousy, I want to pray with you.
"Father, in the name of Jesus - we bind that spirit of jealousy right now in Jesus name. We declare that any seed of bitterness, envious, covetousness, anger, hate or wrath is being uprooted right now and cast away. We thank you God that we walk in love, peace, joy and comfort of the Holy Spirit. We are excited about our portion and we will guard our hearts from that spirit moving forward, in Jesus name, Amen.

Just a few things:

1. Find my (6) books (including my NEW book, "Silent Seasons- Trusting God when you don't understand"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 10:30am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  215 W Wieuca Rd NW Atlanta, GA 30327 - The Galloway School in the Amiptheater

4. Register for the 2017 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! We are almost SOLD OUT! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 50,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you like crazy,
Love always,

Heather Lindsey

Ahh! My NEW BOOK! 

Social Media: Highlight Reels vs. Reality- The Danger of Comparing

Let me just give you the real deal on social media. Like ALL "media" in general, you are SHOWN what the owner would like for you to see. Nobody's life is perfect, even if it appears to be. You have great days, bad days, sad days, lonely days, frustrating days, hormonal days and every other kinda day. You SHOW people what you want them to see based on the brand that you're portraying to everyone else.  You're shown happy, exciting, awesome things. I mean, this is your highlight reel and you want people to have the best perception of you, right? You wouldn't dare post a picture of you crying or arguing with your husband. To bring it even closer to home, you wouldn't post a picture of yourself that wasn't up to your standards. You will take 10 + pictures until you get the right one, then edit it with a million filters-- all to upload the perfect photo. Then, people begin to form an image of you in their head. If you stay at the club with drinking and dancing pictures-- you're probably thrown in a category of a not-so-serious about life woman that likes to party. One that most likely isn't interested in a relationship with Jesus. (And let's all be honest, you ain't soul winnin' at no club sista. God tells us to pursue Him, not environments that encourage sin.)

If you love to cook, people will start to follow you because you always have yummy looking food! If you really love Jesus you may post a ton of encouraging things on your page. And don't get mad at someone who is disrespectful on your social media page towards you and your profile picture is you in a swimsuit. Save those goodies for your one-day-husband. Anyone can google your name and find that picture and now, the entire world can you see you in your bra & panties. They can save those pictures and use them against you, including a future employer. So, scroll through your pictures: What is your brand saying? What are your words saying? Are you cursing everyone out one minute and quoting scriptures the next?

Back to the subject: 
Know this.

In the midst of people posting, they're dealing with every-day real life issues. It's almost like we forget that people are IMPERFECT. WE all have things that God is working out in our life so how dare you get jealous and envious of a person's highlight reel?? They're showing you what they want you to see! And even in knowing that everybody has an issue, you shouldn't rejoice in that. Rejoice in YOUR portion and be thankful for what God has given you. Unfollow anyone that causes you to stumble in this area. If you're following certain "celebrities" or whoever else that are causing you to become jealous or envious of their life, common sense tells us to unfollow them & keep it moving.

Proverbs 4:23

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."

What you don't realize is this: browsing along their pictures and page and comparing their life to your life is planting a seed of discontentment. You may not see the fruit from the seed but I assure you, it's coming and it will aid in "determining the course of your life." You'll go throughout your day, run here-- run there and maybe a week or two-- or even a month later, you will start wondering, "God, when is it my time? or God, when will you provide this or that for me, or God-- I'm NOT happy" or whatever else! Don't you see what is happening!?? You're being SET-UP by satan and you keep taking the bait!  You run onto your ex's page to see his new "so called-happy-life" with his new girlfriend and you allow jealousy to overwhelm you! Then you start to question why the relationship ended-- knowing GOOD and well it was a relationship door  that God Himself closed for you. You start to wonder, "why did that person reject you? Why didn't he want the be with you." While you're wondering, the Holy Spirit is screaming-- "ARE YOU SERIOUS?? That person had NOTHING to do with your future and matter of fact, I never told you to get into that relationship. There was no profit from the beginning and now you are wondering why they rejected you? They were NEVER equipped to be with you from the beginning!" Not only that, you start to wish you could reach out to them but the only thing that really restrains you is the fact that you have a ring on your left ring hand finger. You're married, but still haven't gotten over that ex.

We must diligently guard our hearts from anyone or anything that could possible cause us to stumble. The reality is this: We all go through tests and trails. We all have good & bad days. We all need a Savior. We all can choose to be positive in the mist of negativity. We all can be transparent in saying life isn't perfect but knowing Christ gives us perceptive.

You may say, "ok Heather-- I hear you, but my struggle isn't being jealous of unbelievers, but Christians. How do I deal with that?"

Well, here you go:

1 Corinthians 12:12- 26 

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[e] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. (in other words- this is Heather talking'-- what God is telling me to do, doesn't seem as exciting as someone else so I won't do it.) And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 

How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen,  while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other.  If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

Please re-read that last sentence. If one part suffers, all parts suffer. If ONE part suffers, ALL parts suffer. So if you're over there as the leg and mad and won't move because you're the foot-- then the LEG cannot do it's part! We are a part of the BODY of Christ and each of our functions has a PURPOSE. Now, the body of Christ is walkin' around here crippled because people are refusing to do their part! You may not be the arm, but who cares, you're something and God wants to USE you!! STOP trying to be a finger when God called you to be a arm. 

Let's be clear, the WILL of God on this earth will be completed whether you do it or not. God will raise up somebody else to do it but you don't want to stand before God and say, "umm.. I didn't do what you called me to do because I was jealous that I couldn't preach." Really??? God gives you grace to be YOU. Not another. 

So, I challenge you-- stop focusing on everybody's highlight real and start finding the beauty in your OWN life. The good, bad & ugly-- laying it ALL at the feet of the Father. 

Just a few things:

1. I am opening up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think modest, fashionable, affordable clothes for women! Opening day of the boutique: October 15th via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! Find our app by Oct. 7th for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindseys

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 15,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey