Monday, September 30, 2013

Social Media: Highlight Reels vs. Reality- The Danger of Comparing

Let me just give you the real deal on social media. Like ALL "media" in general, you are SHOWN what the owner would like for you to see. Nobody's life is perfect, even if it appears to be. You have great days, bad days, sad days, lonely days, frustrating days, hormonal days and every other kinda day. You SHOW people what you want them to see based on the brand that you're portraying to everyone else.  You're shown happy, exciting, awesome things. I mean, this is your highlight reel and you want people to have the best perception of you, right? You wouldn't dare post a picture of you crying or arguing with your husband. To bring it even closer to home, you wouldn't post a picture of yourself that wasn't up to your standards. You will take 10 + pictures until you get the right one, then edit it with a million filters-- all to upload the perfect photo. Then, people begin to form an image of you in their head. If you stay at the club with drinking and dancing pictures-- you're probably thrown in a category of a not-so-serious about life woman that likes to party. One that most likely isn't interested in a relationship with Jesus. (And let's all be honest, you ain't soul winnin' at no club sista. God tells us to pursue Him, not environments that encourage sin.)

If you love to cook, people will start to follow you because you always have yummy looking food! If you really love Jesus you may post a ton of encouraging things on your page. And don't get mad at someone who is disrespectful on your social media page towards you and your profile picture is you in a swimsuit. Save those goodies for your one-day-husband. Anyone can google your name and find that picture and now, the entire world can you see you in your bra & panties. They can save those pictures and use them against you, including a future employer. So, scroll through your pictures: What is your brand saying? What are your words saying? Are you cursing everyone out one minute and quoting scriptures the next?

Back to the subject: 
Know this.

In the midst of people posting, they're dealing with every-day real life issues. It's almost like we forget that people are IMPERFECT. WE all have things that God is working out in our life so how dare you get jealous and envious of a person's highlight reel?? They're showing you what they want you to see! And even in knowing that everybody has an issue, you shouldn't rejoice in that. Rejoice in YOUR portion and be thankful for what God has given you. Unfollow anyone that causes you to stumble in this area. If you're following certain "celebrities" or whoever else that are causing you to become jealous or envious of their life, common sense tells us to unfollow them & keep it moving.

Proverbs 4:23
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."

What you don't realize is this: browsing along their pictures and page and comparing their life to your life is planting a seed of discontentment. You may not see the fruit from the seed but I assure you, it's coming and it will aid in "determining the course of your life." You'll go throughout your day, run here-- run there and maybe a week or two-- or even a month later, you will start wondering, "God, when is it my time? or God, when will you provide this or that for me, or God-- I'm NOT happy" or whatever else! Don't you see what is happening!?? You're being SET-UP by satan and you keep taking the bait!  You run onto your ex's page to see his new "so called-happy-life" with his new girlfriend and you allow jealousy to overwhelm you! Then you start to question why the relationship ended-- knowing GOOD and well it was a relationship door  that God Himself closed for you. You start to wonder, "why did that person reject you? Why didn't he want the be with you." While you're wondering, the Holy Spirit is screaming-- "ARE YOU SERIOUS?? That person had NOTHING to do with your future and matter of fact, I never told you to get into that relationship. There was no profit from the beginning and now you are wondering why they rejected you? They were NEVER equipped to be with you from the beginning!" Not only that, you start to wish you could reach out to them but the only thing that really restrains you is the fact that you have a ring on your left ring hand finger. You're married, but still haven't gotten over that ex.

We must diligently guard our hearts from anyone or anything that could possible cause us to stumble. The reality is this: We all go through tests and trails. We all have good & bad days. We all need a Savior. We all can choose to be positive in the mist of negativity. We all can be transparent in saying life isn't perfect but knowing Christ gives us perceptive.

You may say, "ok Heather-- I hear you, but my struggle isn't being jealous of unbelievers, but Christians. How do I deal with that?"

Well, here you go:

1 Corinthians 12:12- 26 
The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[e] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. (in other words- this is Heather talking'-- what God is telling me to do, doesn't seem as exciting as someone else so I won't do it.) And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 

How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen,  while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other.  If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

Please re-read that last sentence. If one part suffers, all parts suffer. If ONE part suffers, ALL parts suffer. So if you're over there as the leg and mad and won't move because you're the foot-- then the LEG cannot do it's part! We are a part of the BODY of Christ and each of our functions has a PURPOSE. Now, the body of Christ is walkin' around here crippled because people are refusing to do their part! You may not be the arm, but who cares, you're something and God wants to USE you!! STOP trying to be a finger when God called you to be a arm. 

Let's be clear, the WILL of God on this earth will be completed whether you do it or not. God will raise up somebody else to do it but you don't want to stand before God and say, "umm.. I didn't do what you called me to do because I was jealous that I couldn't preach." Really??? God gives you grace to be YOU. Not another. 

So, I challenge you-- stop focusing on everybody's highlight real and start finding the beauty in your OWN life. The good, bad & ugly-- laying it ALL at the feet of the Father. 

Just a few things:

1. I am opening up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think modest, fashionable, affordable clothes for women! Opening day of the boutique: October 15th via

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! Find our app by Oct. 7th for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindseys

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts: AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out!

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 15,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join

7. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey


  1. This was greatly needed!! Awesome reminder. I just cover you with prayer and pray that no harm come against you or your family and that blessings will continue to overflow and an even greater anointing come upon you. Bless you for following the leading of the Holy Spirit and doing what it is He has called you to do!!

  2. All I can say is thank you for this. The Holy Spirit has nudged me several times in this very area and I feel like I am finally open and ready to receive this word. God bless you and your ministry!

  3. Sometimes we get so consumed in the world of social media that we forget the fact that living life in the present moment is more important than being attached to our computer and our phones. Envy and comparison is an old tool of the enemy but it’s an easy one (especially now that we have every social media tool imaginable to compare our “picture perfect” lives to everyone else’s). We must always remember to focus on the blessings God sends our way and stop focusing on the blessings others have. We all have a reason to find joy in our lives but we will never see those reasons if all we look at is at what everyone else has going for them. Thank you for a much needed post Heather. Be blessed!

  4. Wow! this is awesome! I have always told my mom nobodys life is perfect, everytime she watched reality shows she would get depressed and start comparing her life to them. I'm going to encourage her to read this post. Thanks Heather!

  5. What a blessing this post is, Heather! Keep letting GOD use you to serve up the truth! Peace and blessings xoxo

  6. This is probably my biggest struggle... comparing my life to what I see on social media. It's got my expectations all screwed up. I've realized that I need to make some changes but I continue to run to the very thing that tears me down. Thanks for speaking on this! I really appreciate it.

  7. You are such a blessing in my life Heather..

  8. Very interesting blog that rings true.

    People tend to question why I'm not on ANY social media and this is the reason why. I found myself wondering and asking God when it would be my time to be in a relationship and get married. I see how "happy" people I used to be interested in seemed to be. Then shortly yet surely, I realized I didn't want others to have that much access into my life.

    In addition, I did it to see how many of the people I considered "friends" or "associates" would actually pick up the phone to contact me instead of reaching out to me when it was convenient on social media. Needless to say, many of them I didn't hear from again. I reached out to them but they never initiated any contact first. It was an eye opener.

    It's not safe to play the comparing game.

  9. I have actually been doing exactly what this post highlights before reading it however it feels better after reading and its clearer to me. One thing I take away from this is that people only post on any social media what they want you to see so mindlessly comparing is silly and something am definitely going to pray out. Great post

  10. Heather,

    this was RIGHT on time! WOW I was checking out celebrity photos and found myself comparing and being discontent. I really needed this conviction. Thank you Lord for using your daughter!

  11. Heather- thank you! that comparing game is such a trap... I understand the.passage about the body being unified way more now. Its clearer. I also feel more free to be who God created me to be.

    Its not about me but about His glory. Im just one part of HIS body and I needo to do my part.

  12. Another great post! Can't wait to order your book!

  13. Your post was on point as usual !!!! I thank God for your ministry !!! You have no idea how much you have touched so many and encouraged others to share with other people. I needed to read this.May God continue to bless you and your ministry.

  14. God bless u Heather for being a blessing to me.

  15. Great post! I used to struggle with this as well. Then one day I saw someone's picture that said something along the lines of "relax, they are just showing their highlight reel and not their bloopers". My view began to change. Then, as I started to REALLY pursue Christ and view myself through His eyes, doesn't even bother me anymore. I can like a picture and keep it moving. Or if someone has too much going on for me on their page, I just remove it. It is written that I am fearfully and wonderfully made---I'm gonna focus on that and nothing else! :-)

  16. Every time the body metaphor is used with phrases like " STOP trying to be a finger when God called you to be a arm." I crack up and chuckle, but it's SO TRUE. And I struggle with it a ton. It's tough, it really is, but I really want to press into the Lord and rest in what He has for me and where He has me now.


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