Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Letting Go...




With tears in my eyes, I remember sitting in a church service next to a man that I really wanted to marry and hearing the Lord say: “Heather, he’s not it. I need you to let this go. If you don’t cut this relationship off—it will only get worse.”

But, WHY God?! I did what I thought I knew to do. Yes, we fell.. over & over again. Yes, we disobeyed you. Yes, we had sex outside of marriage. It’s true that I don’t feel my best in this relationship but Lord, I really want him to be the one. I don't want to start all over with anyone else new! I wanted to have all of his babies and work through lifes struggles. I have always had this “make it happen” attitude about life and I just knew that if I repented and did what I knew to do to make it right, maybe things could work. 

But I continued to hear this voice whisper to me in the midst of my rationalization. Let it go.

So, we went to this little restaurant after church and I had this plastered smile on my face as I greeted people leaving church. They have no clue. They think that our relationship is perfect on paper and from what they can see, but deep in my spirit man,  the Lord has made it so clear to me that he aint it, we’ve made each other idols & I am no longer serving the Jesus although I’m doing all of the church "things" like serving at church & attending.

As we headed towards the restaurant, I made light talk, but deep down, these scriptures were ringing in my heart.

John 14:15
"If you love me, obey my commandments.

Exodus 34:14
You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.

Isaiah 2:22
Don't put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?

If I really loved God, I would break things off because clearly, this relationship has turned from “excitement to pretend love to lust to dysfunction to idolatry.” How did this happen?

1. We refused to set boundaries & continued to play house.
2. Whenever God told me to not go over to his house or vice versa—I rationalized. I mean, he’s a good guy. He goes to church. He says he loves you Lord & I miss him…
3. Our purposes didn’t line up. But I was so desperate for a relationship that I was ignoring the obvious.
4. I had no peace. It was manufactured peace. I was trying to believe this lie that everything was ok but I knew deep down that it wasn’t right.
5. I wanted a man more than I wanted Gods presence. Thus, the relationship was dysfunctional.

So, we broke up that day at that restaurant. Was it hard? Umm. YES. I had to seriously guard my heart. I purposed to NOT to hang out in groups with him anymore. Not to entertain any texting, calling, or whatever else. You see, I had a pretty strong soul tie with him & if I didn’t let God rip that crap out of me, I would have gone back or became depressed. With my emotions totally raging, I told God that I needed help. That I needed Him. That I needed change. That I was sick and tired of being sick & tired. That I needed wholeness. That I needed peace. I would pull scriptures about my worry, discontentment & fear and I would STARE at them for HOURS. I would fast from social media and fight back those negative thoughts that were contrary to Gods word. You see, God will heal you. He will absolutely do His part. But how can God heal you if you don't let Him? How can God heal you when you keep surrounding yourself around that person? I understand if you have a child by him-- so deal with him concerning your child & nothing else-- but you know what I mean. You may just go over to his house.. one more time.. text, one more time.. this or that.. one more time. Babygirl, don't tell yourself that lie, you are only making it HARDER for yourself to really let go.

I blogged on “We just broke up, now what?” But… if God is telling you to let go of a bad relationship, a friend, or whatever else—know that He is protecting you. There’s been a fork in the road and that person isn’t going where you are going. After God removes people, you may go through what seems like a really quiet, dry season. During this season, God is preparing you and those people that used to be in your life weren’t qualified to continued life with you.  So, let Him lead you. I know it’s hard but what other option do we have? Let not make any more excuses of “easier said than done.” Lets instead say, God—I trust you. Lord, I need you. Lord, help me. Lord, I’m lonely. Lord, make me whole. Lord, break my heart until it breathes your heart. God,  help me.

God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out viawww.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 20,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting a Marriage Retreat in August & a Single Retreat in October & so far, both events are almost sold out! We would LOVE to meet you! Join us via www.thegonow.com under events!

8. I'm headed to DC this Saturday and Detroit next Saturday! I would love to meet you! Check out my calendar above!





48 comments:

  1. Heather,

    I saw I retweet about this post and decided to check it out and was blwon away by the topic. To keep it short, my ex fiance is in and out my life.Left me, had children ,came back talking about "marriage" again. Its been a hot mess and everytime it emotionally damages me. I know Gods timing is right but I feel like Im festering waiting but just last night I said Im done. I cant keep letting him in and falling. I forwarded his call and pretty much told God Im too weak and I need you to help me please. Give me something and I came aross this.

    God Bless you sis!!!

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    1. Been there short of becoming engaged. Just said a prayer for you.

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    2. omg im going through this right now! i don't know how to let go

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  2. I know. yeah God uses you sometimes when im off track. I had premartial sex with a random and lost my virginity. I liked him at the time, now its years and many dudes later and Im tight bc i saw him in church and im thinking 'you go to church???' So now im asking God to restore bc the relationship to make it RIGHT even tho we were so WRONG for each other. I dont even like him really. But im bound thinking lets get married God it will b shotgun so at least i can say ive got my cookies. NODEAL everywhere i look God is like let him go and move on. Im trippin cuz God has this way of showing me all my exes(plural) and thier new wives! As i fast and pray and look at my empty ring finger. Oh well. Wish someone hada told me. Lol.

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  3. Thank you!!! Needed this!!!

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  4. Thank you so much for sharing! I really needed to hear this right now...God is always on time!

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  5. Love love love! A friend of mine is going through this and I'm definitely gonna forward it to her.

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  6. That was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for posting this. God bless!

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  7. Yes! Yes!
    It actually feels GREAT to know I decided to let it go a while ago and now reading this is just more confirmation that God is pleased.. I truly understand the peace you are talking about when you TRULY let go.

    For me, the funny thing about letting go is that even though I KNEW he was not the one and that I was better off, When I found out that he has been seeing someone else Satan used that to MESS up my emotions and made me start rationalizing the what ifs but I told myself, " I KNOW he's not the one...so why am I buggin or feeling some type of way?". When we let go, we have to also let go of the "what-ifs" and all the over thinking and just trust God.

    Him seeing someone else was just MORE confirmation that he was NOT the one so that makes it even easier for me to shake any lil feelings that creep up. I dont have time for that!

    I can relate to the ladies that have a child with them.You have to see and interact with them everyday. Pray for him, build some type of cordial friendship,Work out a schedule and make it all about the child. Happy parents= Happy child. Phone calls and text should be about the child only.. I know how guys be with all the extra talk.. KEEP IT MOVING!


    It's really hard but will be WORTH IT to wait for Gods best! :)

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  8. Yes! Yes!
    It actually feels GREAT to know I decided to let it go a while ago and now reading this is just more confirmation that God is pleased.. I truly understand the peace you are talking about when you TRULY let go.

    For me, the funny thing about letting go is that even though I KNEW he was not the one and that I was better off, When I found out that he has been seeing someone else Satan used that to MESS up my emotions and made me start rationalizing the what ifs but I told myself, " I KNOW he's not the one...so why am I buggin or feeling some type of way?". When we let go, we have to also let go of the "what-ifs" and all the over thinking and just trust God.

    Him seeing someone else was just MORE confirmation that he was NOT the one so that makes it even easier for me to shake any lil feelings that creep up. I dont have time for that!

    I can relate to the ladies that have a child with them.You have to see and interact with them everyday. Pray for him, build some type of cordial friendship,Work out a schedule and make it all about the child. Happy parents= Happy child. Phone calls and text should be about the child only.. I know how guys be with all the extra talk.. KEEP IT MOVING!


    It's really hard but will be WORTH IT to wait for Gods best! :)

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    1. Even when u are 3months pregnant for him yet u begin seeing the signs of incompatibility? U shd still let go?

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    2. Yes you should still let go!! Dont be desperate for a guy just cuz he's the father of your child. God can easily replace him at the right time. For now just focus on gaining a closer relationship with Jesus and allow him to fill the hole that is in your heart so that you can be an awesome mother to your unborn child. Things will just get worst if u try to hang onto this guy cuz he won't meet your expectations as a father for your child.

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    3. Right now your emotions might be a roller coaster.. trust Ive been there and you start questioning and rationalizing. If hes NOT the one God will let you know and you will know it! Staying b/c of the baby will not change any thing.. I was having the same feelings at 3-4 months of pregnancy.. you feel like you just messed everything up between you and God, now you are in a bind.. leave him or stay? feeling confused and slowly starting to settle.My daughter is now 2 and we did the whole break get back, then break up and get back. After I finally let it all go and was serious he QUICKLY started talking, having sex with someone else. When it's God's best you wont be confused or without peace. Praying for you!

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  9. I SO needed this Word at this present season. Yes, it's HARD breaking ties with a person you KNOW God's telling you to 'let go'. This was a Godsend...I feel my Help coming. Thank you sis, and thank You Jesus!

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  10. Hello Heather awesome blog.I can relate to a T. I am a guy who recently was told by my ex girlfriend that its over.I remember when I first met her I had boundaries and that I didnt want to kiss till marriage.I knew once we opened that door of temptation we would never look back.Then what was a peck became months of sex.We tried and tried to stop but we couldn't.It was getting out of hand and I couldnt say NO.To the point we read scripture about fornication & still we had sex.It was a stronghold.We wanted to seek council but our pride and sin had taken a toll over us.Wasn't until recently I saw her changing she continued to say she felt unappreciated and I knew someone else got her attention.I was so depressed about letting God down and other personal situations that I even stopped caring.So recently she told me we would never get back together.I hurt her and now I couldn't stop crying.She was my best friend but I didnt lead like I should have.I didnt rely on Gods strength and in her weakness protect us both from opening up a door I knew I didnt want to open.Now its been a little over a week and I miss her but the transformation God has done in my life by allowing me to see who I had become & the things I had been running from for the past 8 years even before I met her.I have opened up to friends and family about my struggles Past & Present.I am reminded I am healed by his stripes and that my God is a jealous God and that if he has to make He'll happen in my life for me to surrender so be it.I Love him all over again.Thank You for sharing this.I know this is confirms alot of what has happend as of late but as I continue on finding my purpose I am Thankful for his discipline and Love.God Bless!!

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  11. Thanks for sharing this Heather! I went through this recently with a now ex. The Lord told me a months ago that this wasn't it and I didn't listen because I tried to justify it with the good qualities that my bf at the time did. Sometimes good is not good enough! God wants to give us greater and as Heather shared, I had no peace in my spirit for a while. After I broke up with him and tried telling him that God told me "this is it" as in no more, he said I was in my emotions and didn't hear from God. It was as if he overrode what God told me as if what I heard was irrational. I prayed and meditated on this for a while and I had my fill of frustration and inward conflict. I at first wanted to be friends because we had a friendship first, but it's not looking like that's going to happen in the long run. I need healing and that requires time and space away from him and my past. Be encouraged ladies, I am!

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  12. bravo! thanks for sharing!! i think this blog is very helpful and reassuring, especially in this dry season. may God bless you!!

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  13. Thank you for writing this! I think I have fully understood why,my last relationship ended. I was dating a Christian who struggles with following God's will. As I became more willing and or invested in following God, I felt he was holding me back or at least not catching up to me. Since he and everyone else around him constantly preached how strong of a relationship he has with God. I finally realized that wasn't really the case and I broke up with him. I have left it in God's hands and am perfectly fine with that. God Bless.

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  14. Just yesterday I was at my now ex boyfriends house and all of a sudden he breaks up with me and he tells me to leave because he was angry over something I had no clue about. He smokes, he drinks and I hate it . For a while he stopped and gave his life to Christ. I felt like that was a break through and he would change. Guess what? He did change but not for to long. I always put it in my head that God will change him, but I kept ignoring all the signs that he's not the one for me. I put up with all the stuff he put me through such as abuse. I was there for him when he had no one, yet he would still treat me like crap. when he broke up with me yesterday, for once I didn't cry. I'm usually the one that calls back trying to solve things but this time I just left it alone. Anytime we get into a problem I log into Facebook and I see one of Heather's post that pertains to what happen. When I logged in this time I saw this post and tears came from my eyes. God was speaking to me!!!! Thank you so much Heather you have really inspired me. I know the process of getting over him wont be easy but I know God is with me and he has greater things planned for me. I hope you see this.

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  15. This is awesome. For 10 years I struggled with a stronghold to a guy and it was nothing but the grace of God that got me through it. It will be 1 year in March since I cut things off with HIM!! And yes he is the father of my 5 year old daughter. You can do it ladies through Jesus. If you need more spiritual support or just someone to pray with, please join "Pinky Promise for the Broken Hearted" at pinkypromisemovement.com.

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  16. I'm not sure if I am supposed to let go. He said he loves me but he wants to feel prepared to go from single life to married with 2 step kids. We've been saving ourselves for marriage, but i have no date from him when he will be ready! We also live in two different cities, and we've been dating for 2 years, although I know him 17 years.

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  17. This post just brought me to tears. I have been struggling with letting go of a relationship. I broke it off a few weeks ago, then recently started back up with him. Right away, I saw why I had ended things with him. This guy is absolutely no good for me, but for some reason I don't want to let go. I am going to though, because I can't afford to mess up my relationship with God. I know this won't be easy, but God will help me through it.

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  18. Heather,

    Thank you for your post. It has blessed me tremendously. God Bless!

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  19. This was exactly what I needed to read today! Thanks so much for being so open and transparent with the affairs of your heart. You are such a blessing!

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  20. Absolutely loved this blog! Thank you for writing & sharing

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  21. I woke from a dream today that was all about "him" I was bring tested and dragged back to the hurt. this is exactly what I needed. thank you

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  22. Thank you for sharing this. It helps not only with situations like this but situations that deal with having to deny your flesh to do what is pleasing before God. Thank you. Keeping you, your family, and ministries in prayer always. God is using you guys greatly! :-))) <3

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  23. What happens when you have had sex with someone and things start going down hill and y'all break up. 6 months after your still having dreams about this young man getting back together with you. He's afraid and your afraid but God continues to tough at your heart about this person. You let go and allow him to be and your alone. There is no talking when you see each other, no text and no calls. You are at the same church and in the same business venture with other brothers and sisters but its still dreams and the word that God had spoken and many prophetic words about you both being together.

    What do I do?

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    1. What makes you think that it is God pulling on your heart about this guy? The devil has access to our heart as well and our dreams. If you think about this guy more then Christ then I don't believe that those are Christ lead thoughts. I use to have a lot of thoughts about my ex after I broke things off and I wouldn't understand because I really thought we were suppose to be together. We use to always say we would go into ministry together and that we loved each other. But after I started really getting into the word of God and gaining a closer relationship with Christ I saw how it all didn't line up with the word of God. My suggestion is to change your focus to pleasing Jesus in all your thoughts n your ways is and if this guy is offending your walk with God then cut off any and all connections you have with him. Whether that means leaving your church, I Dont know but I would go into deep prayer and ask God for guidance on how to go in the right direction. And keep in mind that if u do go in another direction some people aren't gonna understand n give their opinions. Don't let their opinions change what God told you to do.

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  24. Hi Heather, thanks a lot for this article, I was through the same ordeal when I had to make a choice that was quiet obvious, God spoke time gain that this man was not for me I continued in disobedient, he engaged two different woman while we where "dating'' I forgave him and took him back, until he broke it up with me. God is patient with us...he then spoke again through a vision that I will never forget and made me vow that the only person that will
    ever have my body either than him will be my future husband.


    On your study notes for July12 (Contentment:). on the issue of remaining unmarried, was that Paul's desire or God's desire.


    Thanks.

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  25. I'm a 28 yr old new mommy been married almost 4 years now been with my husband 5yrs. 5 months ago I gave birth to our first born 2 months early. Prior to me finding out i was pregnant when I was 10 wks my husband called for a divorce but the day I found out we were having a baby that all changed n he was ready to work things out and I had been patient with him for the longest and it still hasn't stopped. Well a few days before new yrs he called for a divorce again and been sleeping in the guest room for a month now. It's been a rough past 6months. A month before I unexpectedly gave birth I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery. A week after that 2 of his child hood friends moved in and it was supposed to be temporary but lasted till I put my foot down and kicked them out almost a lil over a month ago and stood up for me n my son. My husband is In the military and ever since we moved closer to his family (3hrs away) his life pretty much revolved around them doing any and everything for them and neglecting me and my needs as a wife and now a mother. He literally puts any and everything n everybody before me and my son now and I just can't keep going on with this especially having a baby now. It hurts sooooooo bad and the pain I've been enduring in the past month is unbearable. I am faithfully seeking counseling to help me get through this and my post partum depression. I've been lost for words and don't know what to do anymore but to try n let go n let god! Leaving it in his hands is the best thing I can do for me n my son and to move on with our lives and have a fresh start. GOD BLESS YOU ALL! ♡♡♡♡

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  26. I have been married for over 20 years and I feel like im in a zone! We have Decided to separate. But I know its over. I feel so alone. Not understanding what happened? but I know I must let it go

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  27. Hi Heather, where will you be in DC this saturday?

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  28. I know what this is. I have gone through this with a guy I met in college and really liked. He was a christian guy with "great virtues". With him, I could not wear tight outfits or shorts even during warm seasons because he felt it just wasn't appropriate. I kinda liked that and I thought "finally a guy who loves me for who I am, not for my body! S was a real gentleman, classy, sweet, you know, he knew what to say, and I felt so much in ''love'' with him. I really did. Today I am a free woman. Like I always tell my friends, even if S shows up with 2 Lamborghini, 1 Rolls or a diamond ring, I am not interested in him. But this has been a very though process. Stephan and I had a disagreement and he soon withdrew. I had been texting and calling for more than a year and he never replied at all. I was devastated! I was analyzing the 'what ifs' and 'oh I shouldn't have done this or that', brief I had a year of passivity because of my emotions. One day, tired, I opened the bible on Proverbs 6, which says to persevere if you feel like you hurt someone so I texted him right away and he finally replied. I asked him to meet me in my new apartment and I prayed that God lead our conversation before he came. I bought a thank you card to him. S acted like he wanted me back and yes I still wanted him, but God showed me that day that he was THE WRONG GUY. The day after, I started a 9-day prayer for him that God bless him. The third day, I was healed. God, through my prayer of forgiveness and blessing to S, healed me. After our encounter, I felt total peace and almost lack nothing emotionally. I have found so much comfort, peace and joy with Christ. Ladies, for those of you who are going through break-ups, it is not easy, but please forgive your ex-boyfriends, pray for their life, and let them go. I cannot tell you how much peace and joy and love you will have from it! Love and blessings!

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  29. This is EXACTLY what God has laid on my heart! My ex, father of my youngest, doesn't want to be a christian. Wants to live his life for himself, his money, his buddies. I have been praying about it recently and God has told me that i have made him an idol, praying for him, over thinking, stressing, etc, and that for this new year, i have to LET IT GO. This was total confirmation for me, that i'm on the right track!! Falling in love with Jesus is my goal this year, making HIM my 'spouse" ..the father to the fatherless and husband to the husbandless. I have to also let God work on my ex the way HE knows is best.
    Thanks for sharing. I've read it several times. Im glad to know im on the right track

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  30. Its such a blessing to find inspirational words on here that help you through whatever situation your in. Thank you and please do an event for us in london, england.

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  31. Perfect timing to read this. Dated a guy for almost two years. We were crazy in love but didn't honor God in the relationship. Overtime, as we began debating marriage, I began having doubts. I made excuses thinking that love could and would conquer the doubt. Unfortunately I was very wrong. I sought God honestly and through many tears I walked. It felt like a part of me was ripped away! But God! During the healing process God has given me new purpose and a new assignment. I realized the calling on my life didn't include "this man". I remember moments when I thought I couldn't breathe without him. Now I wonder how I ever lived with him. Everyday is another step further away and closer to God. I am very thankful for your ministry Heather.

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  32. I needed this! I dated my boyfriend for 2 years and honestly God was not the center of our relationship. I asked God for a sign to let me know if he was good for me as a boyfriend and he ended up cheating on me with multiple people. I obviously ignored what God was trying to tell me because I ended up forgiving him and taking him back. I was in love with him. He made me feel appreciated and important but that's not what God wanted. Later I prayed to God again to show me if he is the right one for me and two weeks later he broke up with me and is seeing someone else. I was hurt, devastated, I hated him for a point in time but I realized that I can't be mad for something that I asked God to reveal. We often make the wrong decisions in life then include God after we made the decision and expect Him to make our wrongs right. Even though I asked God to reveal that he was not the right guy for me, deep down I wanted God to be okay and content witha relationship where God was not included. I realized that we have to let God be the center of EVERYTHING from the start. Trying to include God after we made our mistakes is what leads to hurt, confusion, and depression. I am starting to put all my trust in God especially after a heartbreak. Nothing in this world will do if I don't have you Jesus

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  33. I am in tears reading this, because this is EXACTLY what I am going through now, but GOD will get the victory in the end! I finally told my little boyfriend enough is enough, but yet I still want to text, talk, and call him, and I have been doing so, but THIS very blog has encouraged me to truly let it go no matter WHAT! Thanks Heather for your obedience to GOD! Continue in HIS will, God has truly blessed you!

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  34. Heather thank you for this remarkable and timely post...I cannot tell you how common ths struggle is for christian folk!! I WISH I came across this blog years ago before I walked through the consequences of my actions years back. I was in a relationship with a guy and I had just gotten saved although we were still having sex and all, I wanted to follow Jesus but he was happy right where he was and I thought it could possibly work out...nothing was further from the truth. As I started to wonder on where our r-ship was going I asked God outright to show me a sign if he was the one, immediately I got my confirmation the next morning and caught him flirting with other girls. That was my answer from God which was "no". I wish I could tell you that I strongly got myself together and walked away and life was happily ever after. But I did not.I was a broken woman who had strong soul ties to my ex due to us sleeping together and could not bring myself to leave him, I did not know my worth. There is something about a spiritual bond (which is only meant for marriage) when you fornicate outside of marriage and it is not a good bond people. That is why God creates boundaries regarding sex because its only meant to be for marriage and because of the spiritual implications that come with it. Whatever was on the other partners that they slept with you now inherit and so forth. Anyway getting back to the story...I didn't leave him, I threatened him, he tried to make up for things and make it work and do right by me. Down the track 6 months later we were married and we thought life was great...but in the back of my mind there were many problems there tucked away because we were both broken people. Broken attracts broken. Fast forward a few years and things did not work out leaving us to divorce and I came out of that marriage more broken then ever. Why? 1) I did not heed God when he gave me my answer for the sign I asked about a guy I was in love with. 2) I did not know my worth or my value because I didn't know Jesus or allow Him to show me the woman of God I was in Him. 3) I was sinning by fornicating with my ex and we had little or no boundaries whatsoever. It was idolatry and bondage basically to fulfill our own lusts which the Word says in the end leads to death. Fast forward 7 years later and I have been healed of the hurt, delivered from idolotry, soul ties, a broken heart, lust etc. I walked thru a period where God took me by myself and cleaned me out, fed me His Word, placed value on me and showed me the Woman of God I am in Him and His great and mighty plan for my life. I am now at a place where I will never disobey or distrust God or His Word ever again. He created me therefore knows whats best for me and I trust Him because He saved my life (literally). I am also finally at a place where I am now ready for marriage again but to do it God's way and honour Him in and through it. Never again will I be unequally yoked and I am waiting for a man of God that loves God more than me and pushes me to Him. So to add to what Heather said and my story - You better trust God and go with His decision and save yourself years of heartache down the track. I took the easy road and it cost me but I've come out a better person now cos God worked it all for my good. Yet will I trust Him. Thank you Heather, I am being blessed and encouraged by your blogs. God bless you all.

    JJ.

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  35. Thank u heather God has used u to bless me. I find my self struggling to life that life that pleases God...I know am in a reforming process that's y God had brought you my way. .. you are an inspiration. GOD BLESS U,UR MINISTRY AND FAMILY

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  36. Dear Heather u truly are a great Inspiration to countless millions of hurting brothers snd sisters out there. I bless God for the wisdom and sincere honsty with which the Spirit of God uses to educate and restore His children back to Himself.

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  37. Hi I just discovered your blog and they are great! I'm currently struggling with something similar to this. My boyfriend and I will have been together for 2 years next month. I am 22 and currently in nursing school and he is 24 and is leaving in a week for grad school. This past week has really been a challenge. Overall we have what I think is a pretty good relationship. We have shared our sins along the way but we are constantly trying to put God first which we have realized is hard when your still working on your own personal relationship with Christ. I've been very nervous about him leaving to grad school because we will be in 2 diff. States and we have never been in a long distant relationship.

    Long story short the last few days emotions have been high because I've been trying to figure out if we are meant to be and if so how to work towards bettering our relationship or if we need time to grow which I agree that we do. But the problem is that neither one of us wants to break up. We love each other and are faithful to each other. Yes we have our flaws but for the most part we are okay. Our families are so close too and so it feel like he is the person I would end up with. Be has been such a blessing to me and my family in so many ways so I know that God put him in my life for a reason. I know I've been needing to take more time to spend with God and grow but now I'm having a hard time trying to figure out if he's trying to tell me that I need to break up with my boyfriend or not. It's such a confusing and upsetting thought and especially because the idea just kind of came out of the blue! I don't know if it's because I'm nervous about the distance or marriage one day. If anyone has any advice please help!

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  38. What an amazing story and inspiring read about God, relationships and letting go. Trying to really understand and accept what God really wants for you is a difficult decision to let go of personal ego and desires to accept what truly best. But what God wants eventually is what brings about full happiness, truth eternal life.

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  39. I'm going through a situation where I need to let go of this person. Everyday is a struggle but I'm praying God can see me through the pain. I know he is not the one for me but it still hurts because we both sinned by having pre marital sex. The bond is messy for both of us. We love each other but we just don't get along anymore. I pray and cry everyday for God to help me.

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  40. I can relate to Heather in so many ways. I never had a relationship with my father and he lived in the house with me growing up. He use to be an alcoholic until almost dying from it 10 years ago. When he was in that stage of his life, he once told me that I would never make anyone a good wife when I was 14. I am now 30. For years I have tried over and over again to prove him wrong, holding on to meaningless relationships, including one being physically abusive. The most recent one hurted the most because I left a toxic relationship and went right into this one with someone I thought for sure was the one. He went to church, he was respectful, successful, no kids and we had known each other for years. He turned out to hurt me even worse than the others because he could tell I was needy for a man. I allowed him to keep hurting me and coming back when he felt like. Stand me up on dates, not call weeks at a time, and yet still I felt that it could turn around if I kept showing him I cared deeply for him. I asked God to turn it around, even after God showed me multiple dreams to let it go. I kept telling myself, if I could just text, call or go by one more time thats the last to show him what a good woman he will miss. But as Heather said, it doesn't work. This past week, I finally was fed up. I'm asking God to change me, give me strength to stay focus and not trail backwards. Be secure in myself until who he has for me arrives. I pray for healing in the meanwhile.

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  41. I am currently going through this right now.. I was involved with a christian guy and i thought, I really thought God bought us together. We attend the same church and when we first met he told me that the Holy Spirit told him I was the one he was to marry. We dated 5 months and after Bible Study 3 weeks ago he just came out and told me his spirit was unsettled about me and that he couldnt trust me. Needless to say i was in complete shocked. I asked him how could he say that when i hadn't given him any reason to not trust me. After the break up God revealed so much for instance, whenever we prayed, he wouldn't include us or our relationship in the prayer, whenever he was thankful, he never included us as something to be thankful for. when i asked him about him saying the Holy spirit told him I was to be his wife his response was " i said that?".. I really thought he was the one and i have received counseling from one of my elders at the church, who told me this break up is working for my greater good and that my ex was not exhibiting character of a christian. it really really hurts because i gave my all to this relationship. we were intimate and i think that was the destroyer of our relationship and trust. once we decided to stop being intimate that was when things went down hill very fast. Im trying really hard to get through this and im praying that Father God helps me through this. Even though my ex and i attend the same church i have decided to continue to go because i really enjoy my church but i have decided to forgive him but i have absolutely nothing to say to him, not even hello. I dont know if that makes me a bad christian but i just really want to get through this and heal.Please pray for me

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