"I Can't Leave My Boyfriend"

.. I had a conversation with a woman awhile ago and she said, "You don't know what I'm going through with my boyfriend. He treats me so bad and uses me."

I can somewhat relate because some of my relationships were a hot mess too when I was single.. but my question is, "WHAT ARE YOU LETTING OTHER PEOPLE PUT YOU THROUGH?!"  You don't HAVE to stay in that dysfunction boyfriend, girlfriend relationship! I stayed in bad relationships because I wanted to! Let's just call it like it is! You are dependent on that loser boyfriend that God told you to leave forever ago. He told you that if you only trust Him & let go that HE is going to blow your mind! God told you that but you believe the words of the illegal thighs in your bed over God. Your boyfriend is your god. You study him, read his emails, stalk his cell phone and his life has become your bible. You spend more time & energy at his feet than  you do the feet of Jesus. So, when your idol treats you badly, you accept it because he lords over you.

Did you know that one day you will stand before God & be judged on ever sermon, every book, every blog that you read? You cannot say that you didn't know better. You simply keep CHOOSING that lifestyle of sin. And sis, let's not use grace as an excuse to STAY in sin, God graces us so we don't GO back to the sin & we stay away from it. He gives us a way OUT. 

So, this blog aint for everybody. But God put it on my heart to post this for the few of you that are in BAD relationships and you need that extra push to get out. Stop rationalizing & wondering.. how you're going to make it without him. You will  be just fine and God will help you out of it. Move out of his house and start depending on God again. You cannot afford to be out of the will of God for your life and people in the BODY of Christ need you to get into position! They NEED your gifts & talents and you're up here distracted by a man that hates your God. 

By faith, step out and trust God. Let it go. NOW, go on & do the will of the Father. 

(And.. when you get tested (and you will)- write these scriptures out or the ones that minister to you & stare at them until they become more real than your raging feelings.)

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

And I blogged on, "We Just Broke Up, Now What?"-- check it out. 

God Loves you like Crazy!

Heather Lindsey 

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. Use code JESUS for 10% off!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book,  Dusty Crowns, here! 

5. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 26,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting an event in LA on October 4th, I want to see you there! http://www.eventbee.com/v/pinkypromise/event?eid=169814152

"Valentines Day Blues?"

If you're single this year for Valentines day, you may dread the 14th. You're not looking forward to all of the pictures on Facebook, Instagram and twitter that will be posted about all of these couples that are professing their undying love for one another. Although God may have told half of them not to be together-- thus another reason why you should stay in your lane. But anyway, if you find yourself wishing that you were in a relationship or had a Valentine, well-- then this blog is for you.

I just want to remind you of a few things.

1. Anybody can get a ring and get into a relationship. It's when you actually have a standard you will find that your standard "runs" off men. You may look at yourself and say-- I don't want too much! I just want a saved man that loves Jesus, is fine and isn't wimp! Is that too hard to ask?! And to answer you: NO! It's not too hard to ask! But there's seasons under the sun for everything, including a relationship. (Ecclesiastes 3:1). What do I look like getting mad at summer because it isn't here yet? I know that by about June, I can expect summer. I have faith that summer will come and I won't dwell on the fact that it's not here. Instead, I put my boots and coat on and do what I need to do. I believe that if its a desire in your heart to be in a relationship that God will open that door at the RIGHT timing. Stop trying to help God open that door. Sit down, relax. Spend crazy time with God and enjoy this season.

Note that you MAY run off men that want flings and not a wife. But that's ok-- you want a man of standard with integrity. Not some man that wants to play with you and then return you back to the rental car lot-- abused and used.  So, help him put his running shoes on & let the door hit him where the good Lord split him. :)

You may say, well-- "what about the 60 year old woman who has never been married? How do I know I won't be her?" Well, I would need more information. Maybe God did send her a FEW great men, but she shut everybody down because she was looking for a worldly man in the church that made 6 figures. She never gave her type to Jesus so she kept writing off.. godly men because she was never really a godly woman. She just said it but her actions proved that she wanted a man-- her way. I'm just sayin'.

So, don't go out with a RANDOM for the sake of just having a date on Friday. A random is somebody that you KNOW you will never marry but you are bored & lonely. Honey, He cannot fill that void.

2. Be content during this season.  I often encourage women to enjoy each season because once they do get married, they will WISH they would have enjoyed the quiet space they had. If I can be totally real with you-- I didn't enjoy that season as a single because I kept cramming randoms into that space that had NO business being there. Although I finally cut everybody off about a year before I met my husband, I still wasted YEARS chasing after men that cheated on me & played me! What a waste of precious time sis! So, lets be content in this season. Lets enjoy Jesus. Lets have date nights with Him. Lets have tea time. Lets ask Him to renew our fire & zeal for Him! I blogged about "How to Spend Time With God" here. 

3. Go hang out with your girlfriends! Now, just don't hang out with any o'le friend that will complain all day about today being "V-day" and she wants a man, and this & that. No, no, no-- you don't have time for all that! You are working on something! You are focused on what God is telling you to do! So, go out to eat with your friends, have a sleepover, do something-- but don't dwell on what you think you're lacking! If God saw fit to bring your spouse, HE would have been there by now. So, relax.

4. Enjoy quiet time alone.  I used to hate quiet time alone on a Friday night because I would hear my thoughts and I didn't like what I heard. I wanted the clutter of relationships (even if they weren't good ones) because then I didn't have to face my lonely feelings. Hang out with your friends if you have peace about it but you may need to plan a candle light dinner for one in your dining room and just talk to the Lord! Cry out to Him!

5. Burn his phone number. We HAVE to cast down stupid thoughts! 2 Corinthians 2:5 says "We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ." So, if you are getting tempted to reach out to an ex, just to say "Happy Valentines day & remising about what ya'll used to do-- you're only opening yourself up for an attack from the enemy. Because you will soon go back to that place and you will remember the way you used to feel. Even if it was dysfunctional-- anything seems better than your current state. Honey, it's a LIE. It's an ILLUSION and satan is looking to destroy your mindset! So, cast down those bad thoughts, burn his phone number, stop stalking his facebook page with his new girlfriend and STAY focused.

Well, Happy Valentines Day.

Why don't we focus on our 1st love who is Jesus Christ today versus a pretend love that never really loved us in the first place. 

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out viawww.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 20,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting a Marriage Retreat in August & a Single Retreat in October & so far, both events are almost sold out! We would LOVE to meet you! Join us via www.thegonow.com under events!

God Loves you Like Crazy,

Heather Lindsey

Where is my Ring??!

So, everybody around you is getting engaged! Every day you log onto facebook you find that YET another person is engaged! Although you're happy for them, deep down-- you're thinking umm.. ANOTHER PERSON?! UGH! WHEN IS MY TIME?!??! You go to church, pray, spend time with God, you're living right but HOW is it that all of your unsaved co-workers are now engaged.. or all your friends are engaged, married.. having kids but you find yourself.. still single. 

I just want to encourage you today sis. I have felt how you've felt and I have been where you've been. First and foremost, you have got to stop comparing your life to another person. You've heard this before but I'm going to remind you that you're a Christian. You have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you. Do you know what that means to all of heaven??! You've been adopted, set apart, pulled aside, HIDDEN and PROTECTED under the care of CHRIST. Do you think He's going to just let you run off any marry some of anybody??! Anybody can get a ring honey. You can walk outside and pick a random up off the street and make him marry you. Proverbs 24:1 says: Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them. So.. that should clear up being jealous of a bunch of random unsaved people that are getting engaged. They don't belong to Christ which means that CHRIST has no say-so in their relationships! The WORST feeling in the world is for you to walk down the aisle to a man that you KNOW God didn't tell you to marry! Yes, God is always speaking. He's always with you. Are you listening? And this isn't the time to run and preach to them that they shouldn't be getting married if they aren't saved. Bashing them over the head with the bible once engaged won't make them run to Christ. Just smile, hug them and say congratulations while you pray for their salvation.

Each season in your life will develop to the next one. If you're worrying non-stop about getting married, you'll finally get married and then you'll worry about kids. "Everybody is having kids and you don't have any kids." Then, you'll finally get pregnant and then you'll compare yourself to all of the other pregnant women and worry about your entire pregnancy. Then, kids will finally come and then you will compare your kids to everybody else's child. Do you see how destructive this cycle is??! And remember, we're Christians. Jesus is so clear to us when He tells us.. 

Philippians 4:6-7
6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

So.. are you allowing His peace to guard your mind during this season of your life? Or are you on a mad search to "finds you a man?" I want to encourage you to get off of your dating sites as you "SEEK" a spouse and get on your face before God & "SEEK" Him. Don't let being single make you bitter sis. GET UP!  You shouldn't be in that waiting room waiting for him! Single life is NOT a waiting room for MARRIAGE. Marriage is ministry and if you were lazy with your walk with God while single when you get married, you'll get smacked in the face by the EFFORT that it takes to make a marriage GOOD & last. We wait for cars, we wait at the doctors, we wait for the train, we wait for appointments. And when the mechanic, our ride, the doctor or the train is LATE.. we get frustrated! We look at our watch & we're like come ON!! If you don't know what train you're supposed to get on, you'll hop on any train that comes because you're TIRED of waiting. Some of us have been on the wrong train for awhile and we need to get off of it because it's PUSHING us further and further away from our destination. Some of us have been "dating" men that we WISH would marry us but we know deep down that that fool has zero standards and no relationship with God. He won't spend time with God, he won't pray, he would rather play with your body then study the bible, he is CLEARLY not husband material but you would rather in that moment forgo being SINGLE than to have to deal with being lonely again.

God was MUCH more concerned about my purpose than changing my last name. He knew that He needed to pair me with someone who was individually pursing Christ the same way that I was pursing Him. I believe that if it was the will of God for my life, I would have waited even longer before I met Cornelius BUT God KNEW that we would come together & get BUSY about the Kingdom of God. He knew our hearts. He knew we wanted to please Him. He knew that our #1 concern in pursing His name. We were individually pursing Christ alone. The fork finally met & we knew within 15 minutes of meeting on January 3, 2009 that we were getting married one day.

Sis, I want to encourage you to get back to the place of worship and begin to trust God wholeheartedly.  As a NOW wife I SEE how much work goes into a marriage and I'm telling you that you want homeboy to have the basics. You're going to want your one-day marriage to glorify God and then when you DO have kids.. you're going to want your HUSBAND to lead your household as a Christian leader. You may not see how important it is because your clock is "ticking" but I want to remind you that Sarah got pregnant at 99. If you don't know who Sarah is-- read Genesis.

 So remove the words "I'm waiting for my man" from your vocabulary and replace them with "I TRUST GOD'S TIMING concerning EVERY AREA." We must become desperate for Christ and stop being desperate for a relationship.

You didn't get a ring this engagement season because it's not your TIME. YOUR ADAM has yet to awake (click on the link for the blog about it) and you cannot let those around you that are getting married DISTRACT you. On Christmas day 2008, I spent it alone with my family as a single woman. I met my now husband 9 days later. He proposed 12 months later.. on Christmas day 2009. You never know how God can turn things around! First step: Be content wherever He has you right now! Trust that if that DOOR was supposed to be opened, HE would have opened it.

(1 minute after Cornelius proposed!)

So what do you do in the interim?

1. Guard your heart: If Facebook is ruffling your feathers, maybe you need to pull away from it for a little while so you can focus. Stop watching stupid shows on TV that include sex, adultery, fantasies, or whatever else. Don't you realize those things can OPEN a door into your heart?

2. Be happy for others: If you aren't happy with yourself, you won't be able to be happy with others. So sit before God & be honest. You can tell Him that you're jealous & bitter and TIRED of being single. Ask Him to HELP you to want to WANT to be ok with being single.

3. Ask Him to show you the joys of being single. Get prepared to get tested.. but don't worry, the tests will make you stronger & mature you. Remember that you're SUPPOSED to be doing something during this season. What is God trying to accomplish & get you to DEVELOP in? Is He having a hard time because you're ignoring Him & focused on .. this world?

4. Find a local church & get involved! Surround yourself with like-minded Christian women! If you aren't in a Pinky Promise group, there's about 300 groups all over the world! These groups are SISTERHOODS. Period. We encourage each other-- build each other up. Work on studies every month and really keep each other accountable. www.pinkypromisemovement.com

5. SPEND TIME WITH GOD! Honey, when you're on your face before God-- you don't have time to be worry about what is on sister susie's ring hand finger! You're BUSY about PURSING God and you're TIRED at the end of the day. You won't have time to be jealous of anybody.

Stay focused & encouraged sis!

And before I go.. I'm BEYOND excited to announce that my FIRST book is being released next Friday, January 4th!!!! This book is for the woman that is completely dressed up and broken inside. It's for the woman that feels like.. she isn't doing enough, saved enough or whatever-enough. It's truly the all-in-one book for the woman after God's own heart! It will be available via Kindle, Amazon & my own personal site! To pair with the book, "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts" I'm coming out with my OWN lipstick line with 3 shades of PINK! I will share those details later AND the link to purchase the book when I have it!

Here's a few things I will discuss: 

• Find contentment whether they are single or married

• Develop a deep, intimate relationship with Christ

• Eliminate the desire to play the comparing game

• Prioritize their busy, day-to-day schedules

• Develop and grow into the gifts that God has placed inside of them

• BONUS: Practical tips about hair and beauty, as well as other money saving tips and resources

And speaking of rings.. I have a Pinky Promise Sterling Silver ring that you can wear on your left ring hand finger that serves as a reminder that you're married to Christ (Isaiah 54:5). So wear IT or another ring as a reminder until your one-day husband replaces it with your engagement ring. You can find it at the Pinky Promise Store! www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com. I've always said if you want a ring so bad, buy one & get over the hype. :)

AND Check out my new website that has my calendar and other fun updates about the new church we're starting in Atlanta, GA! :) www.heatherllindsey.com! 

God LOVES you like CRAZY,

Heather Lindsey

It was worth the trust.

The night of the engagement!