"How To Recognize A Woman Collector"

What is a collector? A collector is a man or a woman that collects people and keeps them around that they aren't 100% sold on. They do this because they like certain aspects about you, but it's not enough to full commit to you. So, they collect relationships in their phone and they reach out just enough to keep you hanging on a string. When you begin to complain about not getting enough time or energy, they either get upset, disappear only to return another day or they are very apologetic. All three tactics are to keep you around -- still, without commitment. 

Don't get me wrong, men and women can both be collectors. If I can keep it real, I was once a collector, so it defintely happens. But, because I like to talk directly to my sisters and preach to them because I am one, I am going to refer towards men. 

These men will sleep with you, take you out on dates, text you late at night when they're bored and find ways to keep you around just enough where you will be waiting and hoping that there's a chance for a relationship. Although you may not recognize it, they pick you up off of the shelf and put you back on the shelf as they feel led. They don't respect nor value you. They would never see themselves marrying you and can cut you off the moment they meet someone they really want to be with. This is why most times, your relationship is "private" and not out in the open. The collector blames it on, "keeping your business to yourselves."

I actually dated a guy like that on and off for about seven years. SEVEN YEARS. Everytime he would text me, I would get so excited. I was always hoping that we would one day work out.. (I thought in my head.) But, all the while, he continued to have babies by other women and he made zero effort to pursue me. Only, when it was convenient. "I wasn't like other women. I was like his best friend that understood him." (honey, that's a lie) He only really reached out when he was in town, when him and his 10 other women weren't working out. When he was bored. And, I let him. So, I now blame myself for even entertaining that foolishness as a single. Of course, I have forgiven myself :) But, if I can encourage you to recognize a collector, cut him off quickly. 

The Dream

I remember having this dream about him and in the dream, I was walking with him and we were going down different pathways together and at the end of each pathway was a different woman. I would watch him flirt with her and completely ignore me. I was so mad in my dream because there were SO many women. Then, I heard the Lord say, "Let him go Heather, there is no profit in this relationship." 

Well, needless to say, that was the last time I dealt with him. What a waste of time! I was hoping and praying that this guy would see my worth and value. The thing is, he talked all the good talk. When I got saved, He talked about the bible/Jesus with me. Then, right before the dream, he told me that God told him that I was supposed to be his wife. (#BoyBye) 

The crazy thing is, based on the worlds standards, this guy looked amazing on paper. He had it together from the worlds standpoint. Huge figure salary and all. But, biblically, we were absolutely unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says: Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? I was almost willing to FORCE it to work because of our "history." I can assure you that I would NOT be doing what I am doing today if he was my leader or my head in marriage. I would have TEAMED up with darkness and absolutely settled in that relationship. I knew we had little in common, except. History. 

I am thankful that the Lord shut that relationship down and that next year, I met my now husband. One of the first questions Cornelius asked me was "Who helps me carry my groceries?" Now, if I was entertaining the woman collector, then I would have had that answer for him. And, we may not have talked because godly men want a godly woman, not a woman that jumps from man to man, looking for worth and value. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I forgave the woman collector after that dream and I understood that he wasn't a believer, (even though he claimed to be, his life clearly proved otherwise) so I am sharing this so that you won't be deceived and hurt when he marries the woman he really wants to be with. 

It's important that even if this guy goes to your church, that you recognize a woman collector. So, yes, he can be in the church, serving, praying and SILL struggle with this area. Just because he is in church doesn't mean that he believes what is being preached. Hey may, just like attention and you give it to him. This is why it's vital that we test every spirit. "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1). Testing the spirits means that one must know how to “examine the Scriptures.” Rather than accept every teaching, discerning Christians diligently study the Scriptures. Then YOU know what the Bible says and therefore can “test all things and hold fast to what is true.” In order to do this, a Christian must “be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). The Word of God is to be “a lamp” and “a light” to our path (Psalm 119:105). We must let its light shine on the teachings and doctrines of the day; the Bible alone is the standard by which all truth must be judged. 

Now, if you're looking at that man to be the priest of your household, then it's VITAL that you have a relationship with Jesus for yourself so that the Holy Spirit can WARN you ahead of time of those guys that are seeking to string you along. He may be sweet with his words, but the Holy Spirit can read between those lines and tell you that you're getting played. 

The danger in getting wrapped up in these relationships is that you create an entire life with someone who is creating a life with someone else. Your number and time is just there when times get rough or they're fighting for the zillionth time. He will tell you whatever lies he can to keep you around, to sleep with you just one more time and whatever else. You are being USED. Let the little birdie fly and go get focused on what God has called you to do. 

WHAT a waste of time!! The bible tells us to fill our minds with GOOD things that are worthy of report, not stalking that man's social media and wondering if he is going to call you back. My sister, it doesn't TAKE all of that. YOU are worth SO much more. A godly man wouldn't take a chance on losing you to another. So, he won't play games. 

So, if you recognize one of these guys, cut them off. Or, if you are one of these people, just stop it. You're sowing some pretty nasty seeds. You won't want to see the harvest of heartbreak over and over again because it may  happen to you. Don't keep people around to stroke your ego. Don't lead people on. Instead, pursue Jesus with all of your heart. 

The biggest thing I hearing the Lord say while writing this is that these types of relationships are DISTRACTIONS. Big distractions to get you off course. Let's get back on course, block the collectors in every way and press forward to the mark of the high calling through Jesus Christ! You're unavailability single. 

Just a few things:

1. Find my (5) books (including my NEW book, "The Purpose Room"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 10:30am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  3600 Snapfinger Rd Lithonia, GA 30038

4. Register for the 2017 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 50,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

6. We are headed on a Revival Tour to Kenya, Nigeria, London and Capetown. Register here: www.lindseyevents.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,

Heather Lindsey

"How To Recognize A Woman Collector"

What is a collector? A collector is a man or a woman that collects people and keeps them around that they aren't 100% sold on. They do this because they like certain aspects about you, but it's not enough to full commit to you. So, they collect relationships in their phone and they reach out just enough to keep you hanging on a string. When you begin to complain about not getting enough time or energy, they either get upset, disappear only to return another day or they are very apologetic. All three tactics are to keep you around -- still, without commitment. 

Don't get me wrong, men and women can both be collectors. If I can keep it real, I was once a collector, so it defintely happens. But, because I like to talk directly to my sisters and preach to them because I am one, I am going to refer towards men. 

These men will sleep with you, take you out on dates, text you late at night when they're bored and find ways to keep you around just enough where you will be waiting and hoping that there's a chance for a relationship. Although you may not recognize it, they pick you up off of the shelf and put you back on the shelf as they feel led. They don't respect nor value you. They would never see themselves marrying you and can cut you off the moment they meet someone they really want to be with. 

I actually dated a guy like that on and off for about seven years. SEVEN YEARS. Everytime he would text me, I would get so excited. I was always hoping that we would one day work out.. (I thought in my head.) But, all the while, he continued to have babies by other women and he made zero effort to pursue me. Only, when it was convenient. "I wasn't like other women. I was like his best friend that understood him." (honey, that's a lie) He only really reached out when he was in town, when him and his 10 other women weren't working out. When he was bored. And, I let him. So, I now blame myself for even entertaining that foolishness as a single. Of course, I have forgiven myself :) But, if I can encourage you to recognize a collector, cut him off quickly. 

The Dream

I remember having this dream about him and in the dream, I was walking with him and we were going down different pathways together and at the end of each pathway was a different woman. I would watch him flirt with her and completely ignore me. I was so mad in my dream because there were SO many women. Then, I heard the Lord say, "Let him go Heather, there is no profit in this relationship." 

Well, needless to say, that was the last time I dealt with him. What a waste of time! I was hoping and praying that this guy would see my worth and value. The thing is, he talked all the good talk. When I got saved, He talked about the bible/Jesus with me. Then, right before the dream, he told me that God told him that I was supposed to be his wife. (#BoyBye) 

The crazy thing is, based on the worlds standards, this guy looked amazing on paper. He had it together from the worlds standpoint. Huge figure salary and all. But, biblically, we were absolutely unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says: Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? I was almost willing to FORCE it to work because of our "history." I can assure you that I would NOT be doing what I am doing today if he was my leader or my head in marriage. I would have TEAMED up with darkness and absolutely settled in that relationship. I knew we had little in common, except. History. 

I am thankful that the Lord shut that relationship down and that next year, I met my now husband. One of the first questions Cornelius asked me was "Who helps me carry my groceries?" Now, if I was entertaining the woman collector, then I would have had that answer for him. And, we may not have talked because godly men want a godly woman, not a woman that jumps from man to man, looking for worth and value. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I forgave the woman collector after that dream and I understood that he wasn't a believer, (even though he claimed to be, his life clearly proved otherwise) so I am sharing this so that you won't be deceived and hurt when he marries the woman he really wants to be with. 

It's important that even if this guy goes to your church, that you recognize a woman collector. So, yes, he can be in the church, serving, praying and SILL struggle with this area. Just because he is in church doesn't mean that he believes what is being preached. Hey may, just like attention and you give it to him. This is why it's vital that we test every spirit. "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1). Testing the spirits means that one must know how to “examine the Scriptures.” Rather than accept every teaching, discerning Christians diligently study the Scriptures. Then YOU know what the Bible says and therefore can “test all things and hold fast to what is true.” In order to do this, a Christian must “be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). The Word of God is to be “a lamp” and “a light” to our path (Psalm 119:105). We must let its light shine on the teachings and doctrines of the day; the Bible alone is the standard by which all truth must be judged. 

Now, if you're looking at that man to be the priest of your household, then it's VITAL that you have a relationship with Jesus for yourself so that the Holy Spirit can WARN you ahead of time of those guys that are seeking to string you along. He may be sweet with his words, but the Holy Spirit can read between those lines and tell you that you're getting played. 

The danger in getting wrapped up in these relationships is that you create an entire life with someone who is creating a life with someone else. Your number and time is just there when times get rough or they're fighting for the zillionth time. He will tell you whatever lies he can to keep you around, to sleep with you just one more time and whatever else. You are being USED. Let the little birdie fly and go get focused on what God has called you to do. 

WHAT a waste of time!! The bible tells us to fill our minds with GOOD things that are worthy of report, not stalking that man's social media and wondering if he is going to call you back. My sister, it doesn't TAKE all of that. YOU are worth SO much more. A godly man wouldn't take a chance on losing you to another. So, he won't play games. 

So, if you recognize one of these guys, cut them off. Or, if you are one of these people, just stop it. You're sowing some pretty nasty seeds. You won't want to see the harvest of heartbreak over and over again because it may  happen to you. Don't keep people around to stroke your ego. Don't lead people on. Instead, pursue Jesus with all of your heart. 

The biggest thing I hearing the Lord say while writing this is that these types of relationships are DISTRACTIONS. Big distractions to get you off course. Let's get back on course, block the collectors in every way and press forward to the mark of the high calling through Jesus Christ! You're unavailability single. 

Just a few things:

1. Find my (5) books (including my NEW book, "The Purpose Room"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 10:30am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  3600 Snapfinger Rd Lithonia, GA 30038

4. Register for the 2017 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 50,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

6. We are headed on a Revival Tour to Kenya, Nigeria, London and Capetown. Register here: www.lindseyevents.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,

Heather Lindsey

"Use Me God!"

Have you ever cried out to the Lord and said, "Holy Spirit, USE ME! Send me to NATIONS, LORD! I desire for you to use every part of me for your glory!"

I have definitely been there. I remember crying out to the Lord one day with all of my heart, GOD! With tears in my eyes, I begged him, LORD, SEND ME TO NATIONS! I want NATIONS to know your NAME! I want PEOPLE to come into the saving knowledge of WHO YOU ARE!!!! Oh Lord, send ME so that nations may come into the knowledge of who you are. Lord, SEND labourers into the field, for the harvest is great!" As I cried out to him, I was sitting under the powerful presence of the Lord. I was literally soaking in His presence. I was laid out on my face. Completely surrendered in that moment. Worship music was playing gently in the background. My prayer room was barely lit and there was nothing like the peace that came from the Holy Spirit in that moment.

I came up from my prayer time feeling so refreshed. So encouraged. So excited about those nations knowing Jesus. That's all that mattered.

Then, a few days later, I came across a woman that I knew had been talking badly about me. She didn't know that I knew, but I knew. I forgave her (so I thought in my heart) and it was one of those things where I didn't really know her, but I wasn't crazy about her. (based on the fact that I knew she was being messy lol) She can stay right over there with her gossiping self and I will pray for her. (as I rationalized and thought in my mind) Those thoughts only dropped into my mind when I saw her here & there. I personally didn't even know her name. Nonetheless, as I came across her that day, I silently rolled my eyes in my HEART. Not on my face, but in my heart as she introduced herself to me. I wouldn't publically roll my eyes, because you know, that's not the right "Christian thing to do."

As SOON as I started to speak to her, these two scriptures appeared in my mind:

Romans 12:9 - Don't pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 
Jeremiah 17:10 - The Lord searches the heart and He examines secret motives. 

Then, I heard the Holy Spirit say: "Heather, you are praying for nations and I am sending you to the nation of the United States. This woman is a part of that nation. Be faithful in all things."

Immediately, I was convicted.

I wasn't in that barely lit room, basking in the presence of the Lord on my face. I didn't hear Bethel in the background playing music. I was in a very public place. No bells. No whistles. And, it sure wasn't convenient to love the girl that I know bashed me.

Did I really think that I could choose what nations that I want to tell about Jesus?? In knowing that this fight is SPIRITUAL and not physical, I shouldn't have even been mad at HER but the spirit that was operating in her. We need to get mad at the devil, not humans. He is the one behind all of this hate!

You see, it's HERE where your FAITH is being tested. It's THERE on your job, at the gym, in the car, or in the classroom where you're being TESTED! It is THERE where the things that you've cried out to God at church, at the altar, in your prayer room or wherever else get the OPPORTUNITY to develop.

What are we waiting for in becoming more like Jesus?? Are we waiting for a stage or a big ministry to tell us that we matter or that we are worth something? No! REAL, true ministry is happening when NOBODY else is looking! Real, true ministry is happening PRIVATELY. When nobody else is watching you to tell you how great you are. It's in the booth, in the back in the corner where you are CRYING out - YES to God when you can sneak and do something that you have no business doing! It's SECRETLY saying YES to Jesus when you want to roll your eyes, ignore someone, hurt someone who has hurt you or just quit all together.

And, the more you say Yes to Jesus and you pass those tests, the more we become like Him. I don't know about you but I want to be His hands and feet. I want to know Him like never before. I want my entire life to be surrendered to  Him and not for show but for real. I want to sense His heart beating next to mine. I want to love like He loves. I want the Holy Spirit to absolutely possess my very SPIRIT and to lead me to Jesus daily.

This means what?

That I may get tested a lot. There's alot in us that doesn't look like Him and these tests burn the bad stuff out.

1 Peter 1:7 
So that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:3-5
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Being tested isn't a bad thing. It shows you your heart. For me, it showed me that I wanted nations to be saved but I couldn't' even love my own sister in my own community right next to me. Those nations that need to be saved come with a full set of issues. Of hurts. Of pains. Of "special personalities" and what I call "Jesus' special people." lol :)

Know that when you desire to be used by the Lord, it won't always be easy, convenient or even seem significant. But, IT matters. If we've done it to the "least" of them, we've done it to Jesus (Matthew 25:40)

So, when we pray, Lord, SEND ME! Use Me! Let's really mean it and do whatever He is telling us to do. And, before He tells you to start this huge ministry or go do missions, He is telling us to be faithful right now, in our community and exactly where we are. Let's be faithful in ALL things.

Just a few things:

1. Find my (5) books (including my NEW book, "The Purpose Room"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 10:30am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  3600 Snapfinger Rd Lithonia, GA 30038

4. Register for the 2017 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 50,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

6. We are headed on a Revival Tour to Kenya, Nigeria, London and Capetown. Register here: www.lindseyevents.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,

Heather Lindsey