Silently Mad At God?

Are you silently mad at God? Maybe, things didn't work out the way you planned. Maybe, you're still single after thinking you would be married by now. Maybe, you still cannot conceive a child and you've been praying and fasting. Maybe, you didn't get into that college or your financial aid fell through and you don't understand because you thought God told you to go. Maybe, your husband isn't changing after you've been waring in prayer. Maybe, you're still getting evicted this week and you've been trusting God to provide.

Regardless of your situation, I want you to know that I have been there. I have given God my heartfelt deadlines and literally begged him to change my situation. I have even gotten to the point when I first got saved where I cried out to Him and told Him that if He doesn't change my situation, I will quit on this whole Christianity thing. Thank God He answered my desperate prayer that next day but I ask you, are you at your breaking point? Do you suffer from this depressing frustration that says, "why even bother doing what's right? Things aren't going to work out for me anyway?"

If you feel that way, as I said - I can relate. I am all for you venting, crying, being frustrated and getting those emotions out. But, as your sister in Christ - I sense that some of you are living in that depression and frustration. You silently wonder why your prayers aren't being answered as you live for the Lord.

As hard as this pill is to swallow, I want you to know that God is preparing you for something so much greater than you can see. Yes, things aren't working out physically but that doesn't mean that things aren't working out spiritually. Just because you cannot see what God is doing behind the scenes doesn't mean that He isn't working on your behalf. He sees your prayers. He sees your fasting. He sees your dedication to His word. He sees you loving the unlovable. He sees you passing the tests. It's true, man may not see it and we have to come to a point where we stop caring if people praise us or not. I challenge ya'll to learn to stir yourself up in the Lord. Stop expecting everyone to throw you a party for your obedience and throw your own party and attend it.

We have to remember that God is our FATHER. And if our earthly parents give us good gifts (Matthew 7:11) then why wouldn't God want to make sure that you're good? The thing with God that I've learned is that He sees the WHOLE picture. He's the Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the End. So, He may have a way to bring you out of a situation and LEAD you -- even if it seems like one door is closing. To the natural eye, it may look like you're failing but you're actually learning to trust God and walk by FAITH. At times, we think that because we are saved, it means that we will never have to wait for anything, that we are going to have breakthroughs everyday and that God is going to give us what we want. NO. As a mother, would I give Taylor or Logan a huge butcher knife? No! Why? Because they cannot handle it. It's not the proper time to use the knife. Maybe, when they're older and cooking us dinner when we are empty nesters - I will hand them a knife after they have shown me to be trustworthy.

I have even had to learn to develop in this area of stirring myself up. At times, I am so exhausted and overwhelmed that I would just lay in bed. I would lay there and think about my schedule and then get overwhelmed with my schedule all over again. In the midst of my frustration and pity party - I heard the Lord tell me to GET UP. So, spent some time with Him, I got up, brushed my teeth, showered, got dressed and cleaned my house. Then, I did some work. You see, you're not going to feel better about yourself or your life if you're laying in your pity party feeling sorry for yourself. Some of us need read John 5:5

John 5:5-9
New King James Version (NKJV)
After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda,[a] having five porches. In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had. Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”
The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.

You see, the lame man was WAITING for someone to put him in the water so that he could be healed.  And, you may be WAITING for a spouse. WAITING for a child. WAITING for a promotion. WAITING to feel good about yourself. Just waiting. And, just like the certain man was waiting for a man to do what only God can do, we do the same. We look for people to cure us, heal us, fix us, promote us, like us, whatever else us and we take our eyes off of God and we put them on man.

Your issue may not be that you're mad at God, maybe you're just mad at yourself. You sit and beat yourself up about what you should have done right. Or, maybe you felt like "if I would have just said this or that in the interview, I would have gotten the job." Sis. What God has for you is for you. It' time to stop beating yourself up because if you've done it to the LEAST of them, you've done it to Jesus. So yes, tearing yourself down (YOU are made in the image of Christ), is also tearing Christ down. If you're stuck in sin, cut it off, let it go, fast, pray and fight back. Don't sit and entertain what you know God hates.

I truly believe that tests prove our heart. It proves if we really mean all of those songs we sing at church. Tests prove whether or not we really trust God. So, if you're in the midst of something and you're having a hard time trusting God, your heart is hardened or whatever else, pray and ask the Lord to replace your heart with One like His. One that is sensitive to His spirit. One that craves righteousness. One that CRAVES and hungers after HIM.

I've always said this and I will say it again -- it's ok to have emotions. A moment of frustration. But, we just cannot be led by them. Take those feelings, those frustrations, those raging emotions and lay them at the feet of the Father. He will NEVER fail you, He will NEVER forsake you and He is with you!

So, if you're silently mad at God, let's simply repent. Repent of trying to take life into our own hands. Repent of our worry. Repent of our fear. Repent for trying to figure out things outside of Him. Repent for being mad at the ONLY One that can actually help us. Let's carve out time to sit before the Lord and open up those bibles sitting on our nightstands. The Lord desires a relationship with us so He can SHOW us and prepare us for what He has called us to do.

1 Corinthians 9:26 
"Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.

No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

As believers, we must be disciplined in prayer and intentional about casting down those feelings that say we aren't enough or even those feelings that blame God for the hurt we experienced from others. God didn't hurt you, those people did. We must refuse to be controlled and led by our feelings. We must take authority over those crazy thoughts and suggestions that God is the on on the other side of everything, trying to make your life miserable. That aint' God honey. That is satan himself who is roaring around like a lion LOOKING for something or someone to DESTROY. (John 10:10, 1 Peter 5:8) He would love to destroy your trust in the Lord and make you think that God hates you because of your sin. Honey, He sent His only Son to take care of your sin! Simply turn to Him and REPENT of it and move FORWARD! God has SO many things for you to do! You can't quit when things get hard! You can't give in! You can't roll over and let the enemy win! Fight back!! 

Keep fighting, keep pressing and don't give up the good fight. 

God loves you like crazy!

Love always,

Heather Lindsey 

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