Letting Go...

With tears in my eyes, I remember sitting in a church service next to a man that I really wanted to marry and hearing the Lord say: “Heather, he’s not it. I need you to let this go. If you don’t cut this relationship off—it will only get worse.”

But, WHY God?! I did what I thought I knew to do. Yes, we fell.. over & over again. Yes, we disobeyed you. Yes, we had sex outside of marriage. It’s true that I don’t feel my best in this relationship but Lord, I really want him to be the one. I don't want to start all over with anyone else new! I wanted to have all of his babies and work through lifes struggles. I have always had this “make it happen” attitude about life and I just knew that if I repented and did what I knew to do to make it right, maybe things could work. 

But I continued to hear this voice whisper to me in the midst of my rationalization. Let it go.

So, we went to this little restaurant after church and I had this plastered smile on my face as I greeted people leaving church. They have no clue. They think that our relationship is perfect on paper and from what they can see, but deep in my spirit man,  the Lord has made it so clear to me that he aint it, we’ve made each other idols & I am no longer serving the Jesus although I’m doing all of the church "things" like serving at church & attending.

As we headed towards the restaurant, I made light talk, but deep down, these scriptures were ringing in my heart.

John 14:15
"If you love me, obey my commandments.

Exodus 34:14
You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.

Isaiah 2:22
Don't put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?

If I really loved God, I would break things off because clearly, this relationship has turned from “excitement to pretend love to lust to dysfunction to idolatry.” How did this happen?

1. We refused to set boundaries & continued to play house.
2. Whenever God told me to not go over to his house or vice versa—I rationalized. I mean, he’s a good guy. He goes to church. He says he loves you Lord & I miss him…
3. Our purposes didn’t line up. But I was so desperate for a relationship that I was ignoring the obvious.
4. I had no peace. It was manufactured peace. I was trying to believe this lie that everything was ok but I knew deep down that it wasn’t right.
5. I wanted a man more than I wanted Gods presence. Thus, the relationship was dysfunctional.

So, we broke up that day at that restaurant. Was it hard? Umm. YES. I had to seriously guard my heart. I purposed to NOT to hang out in groups with him anymore. Not to entertain any texting, calling, or whatever else. You see, I had a pretty strong soul tie with him & if I didn’t let God rip that crap out of me, I would have gone back or became depressed. With my emotions totally raging, I told God that I needed help. That I needed Him. That I needed change. That I was sick and tired of being sick & tired. That I needed wholeness. That I needed peace. I would pull scriptures about my worry, discontentment & fear and I would STARE at them for HOURS. I would fast from social media and fight back those negative thoughts that were contrary to Gods word. You see, God will heal you. He will absolutely do His part. But how can God heal you if you don't let Him? How can God heal you when you keep surrounding yourself around that person? I understand if you have a child by him-- so deal with him concerning your child & nothing else-- but you know what I mean. You may just go over to his house.. one more time.. text, one more time.. this or that.. one more time. Babygirl, don't tell yourself that lie, you are only making it HARDER for yourself to really let go.

I blogged on “We just broke up, now what?” But… if God is telling you to let go of a bad relationship, a friend, or whatever else—know that He is protecting you. There’s been a fork in the road and that person isn’t going where you are going. After God removes people, you may go through what seems like a really quiet, dry season. During this season, God is preparing you and those people that used to be in your life weren’t qualified to continued life with you.  So, let Him lead you. I know it’s hard but what other option do we have? Let not make any more excuses of “easier said than done.” Lets instead say, God—I trust you. Lord, I need you. Lord, help me. Lord, I’m lonely. Lord, make me whole. Lord, break my heart until it breathes your heart. God,  help me.

God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out viawww.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 20,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting a Marriage Retreat in August & a Single Retreat in October & so far, both events are almost sold out! We would LOVE to meet you! Join us via www.thegonow.com under events!

8. I'm headed to DC this Saturday and Detroit next Saturday! I would love to meet you! Check out my calendar above!

I'm on YouTube!!!

I'm super excited to announce that I've started a YouTube Channel! I've been meaning to start one for a couple years now, but I've just been busy with ministry, life and family! But, I believe that I'm graced for this season so I'm excited about posting what God places on my heart. I honestly don't care about lighting, looking perfect or whatever else-- you'll just get the raw, everyday Heather Lindsey sharing what God places on my heart.

 You can expect:

• Encouraging posts tackling daily struggles!
• Past & future sermons 
• Cooking Tips & maybe even a mini-show on how to make certain foods!
• Beauty Products + tips 
• And so much more! 

You can subscribe & watch the videos here: Heather Lindsey's Channel  

Love you all! 

The Titus 2 Woman: The Keeper of her Home

Can I be totally honest with you? My heart is broken with this generation of women. I'm not saying this as though I'm placing myself higher than anyone because I trust me, I don't think I'm better than anyone. My heart is broken as I sit in my quiet time before the Lord and then get up & live in this world. Women roll their eyes at submission as though I'm telling them that they are doormats, they are rebellious towards God as a single & then they get married & dominate their husbands. They complain their entire single life without appreciating that temporary season while chasing every man they see with two legs and a job. They refuse to learn how to cook, clean and they walk around with hair wraps on their head screaming "that man betta love me for me cuz if he doesn't then he doesn't deserve me." Well, sista- this is probably why you're single. Although this blog isn't about that subject, a wife is the crown of her husband and he's probably overlooking you with your house shoes, hair wrap, sweats and beautiful spirit and no matter how you flip it, men are visual creatures. (I will talk more about this in my book to single women coming out in July 2014)

I want to talk about the Titus 2 woman. I want to talk about her attributes. I want you to take a mirror and look into your heart and ask yourself: "Am I striving to be this woman, or am I lazy?" I'm going to clear the air about some areas & why you feel the way you do. Let's get started.

Titus 2:


3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,

• I want you to search your heart. It's so easy for us to slander other people with our words, all in the name of: "you hear about this & that? Yeah, Imma' pray for her." But you aren't planning on praying for her. You enjoyed talking about her. It felt good to put someone down as you put yourself up on a pedestal. If you were serious about praying for her, you would sit before God as if it was YOUR issue and you would talk to HER about it and not everybody else. Why do we feel like we can put our wicked hearts on every person's life? It's fine to talk about people until the rumor is about you.
• Are you willing to sit down and talk to an older woman that really loves Jesus and submits to her husband? I honestly don't encourage you to talk to any o'le woman that has been divorced 4x and she has marriage and relationship advice for you. I encourage you to talk to a woman that loves Jesus, is submitted to her husband and is seasoned in training her children up in the way of Christ. There should be some FRUIT on her tree before you go skipping around & taking her advice.

 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

• I love this part because it's actually my favorite part. "To work in their homes." The King James Version says the woman is the "keeper of her home." As a keeper of her home, I want you to imagine her as the goalie at a soccer game. Her eyes are on the entire field watching what is happening. She is anticipating the tests that are coming her way and she's ready to capture the ball when it comes her way. She refuses to let anything "hit" the net and if she has to throw herself down & sacrifice herself, she will make sure that net is protected. Well, this is what a woman is to do in her home. 
• As a wife, I don't play just "anybody" come up in my home unless I have total peace about them. I guard my home and our relationships like a hawk. I make sure that whoever is connected with our family recognizes that we love Jesus, we believe in submission, we believe in honoring our marriage, we don't curse in here, we have standards and we won't bend those standards to please anyone. If there's someone who tries to come into our safe place called our home and I feel like they are crushing on me or my husband, I shut down the relationship. I don't have time for a silly woman or a silly man to come & try to ruin my marriage. And it's not insecurity, it's wisdom. A wise woman is a KEEPER of her home. Remember that there's no such thing as JEALOUSY in a marriage. How can it be? You are ONE flesh. It's ONE body. You have full rights to each other & you are righteous in your desire for protecting your marriage. 
• And I'm not saying I don't let people that don't believe in my home, because we do allow certain people into our home & we love on them. But the minute division or drama tries to be brought to our steps, we shut it down. 
• I make sure the atmosphere of my home is warm & cozy. People that walk in always say, "It feels so warm & cozy here." God's presence dwells in our home and I stay on my face in prayer before God for my husbands & son's sins. I don't have time to let satan come in & ruin my family! He's LOOKING for a door into my HOUSE and I REFUSE to give him one!
• I recognize that bad company corrupts character (1 cor 15:33) and that this fight is spiritual. So, what spirits are people carrying into your house that are trying to transfer onto you?! You hang out with a woman who is divorced, hates men, is bitter and ONLY complains about how terrible marriage + men are.. you will soon begin to give your husband the side-eye. Shut.it.down. 

6 In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. 7 And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. 8 Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized. Then those who oppose us will be ashamed and have nothing bad to say about us.

• What type of example are you to others?! The streets are watching and they are wondering if you are really living for Jesus or is it just a "persona" that you put on as you continue to live for yourself. I remember calling into my local bank's 1800 fraud number because someone used my credit card for some internet dating site. I called & I said, I'm very married and happy-- there must be a mistake! Can someone please refund the money back to my card? The woman said sure, what's your name? I said, "Heather Lindsey" -- and she said OMG! I love you! I read your blog! Now, what if I got on the phone and started cussing and cutting up? I would have TOTALLY ruined my WITNESS. There's been so many times where I run into people that follow our ministry and I get tested in this area. Even with this being said, we shouldn't fear their opinions more than we fear God. We must WANT to love others and reflect the seriousness of the GOSPEL!

9 Slaves must always obey their masters and do their best to please them. They must not talk back 10 or steal, but must show themselves to be entirely trustworthy and good. Then they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive in every way.

• Ok, granted-- you aren't a slave, but how do you treat your boss, your husband? Are you constantly talking back to your man and talking AT him instead of talking TO him? Ya'll know how we do it. We are just so controlling and we think we know everything. But God is screaming out to you, "babygirl-- if you would just submit, me and your husband will protect you. But you keep removing your protection with that mouth of yours." And most of you don't have a problem talking back to your boss, because you respect him or her. Even if you don't you would never show it. My question stands: why do we respect our bosses more than we do our spouses?
• I don't know about YOU but, I want to make teaching about GOD our SAVIOR attractive in EVERYWAY! Are you serious?!?! Jesus DIED for me. He DIED. He saved me, He healed my broken heart. He healed my fearful heart. He loved me when I hated me, He reminded me of my value. He showed me my worth, He kept me. He provided for me. He loved me. You better believe I'm going to be a walking BILLBOARD for Jesus Christ and be totally free from people's opinions! Do you know that people will TALK about you & your love for Jesus? Saying, "It doesn't take all that, you think you're better than me." Actually, this isn't true. Your life convicts them and they aren't ready to change yet. So instead of supporting you, bitterness grows in their heart. So, what do you do? Keep loving them & LIVING this thing. Be patient (like the earlier scriptures) and show them that Jesus wants their entire life. 

11 For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. 12 And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, 13 while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. 14 He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.

• The word "devotion" stuck out to me in this scripture. WHAT or WHO are you devoted to on a regular basis? Whatever we give our time, energy and attention to on a regular basis is WHO we are devoted to. 
• Can I be transparent with you? I struggled greatly putting my PHONE down. I'm still working on this but I love to be connected & posting encouraging things! One day, God told me to put my phone down because I give it way more attention than I do Him. He was jealous over my PHONE. Are you serious? Lord, you ain't gotta compete with Verizon. You have my FULL attention whenever, however & right now. I don't want to be humbled & not have a phone, so let me go ahead & repent & ask God to help me. 
• Verse 14 says that Jesus gave His LIFE to free us from every sin. Every sin, every soul tie, every broken heart, every hurt, every pain, homosexuality, fornication & everything else! You don't have to be bound by your sin. Jesus took care of the sin factor when He went to the cross. Now, let's renew our minds & get on our face before God and take on a new way of thinking. If you refuse to spend time with God daily, you won't think like Him. You will think like your boss, your whoever and your whatever. In Christ, we have a new LANGUAGE. We are totally wrecked & changed from the inside OUT. 

I pray that you heard my heart on this message. My prayer to my sisters is that you start wherever you are in life. If you don't know how to cook, go on Pintrest & get some ideas. Start cooking for your friends & family. Be intentional about learning what foods work best for your body. Clean up your house! If you're too busy-- get a maid to come & help you out every now & then. Start disciplining yourself NOW so when you get married, there's an easier transition. If you're married, ask God to unclutter your heart & to help you in this journey to be a woman after His heart. Put your phone down, turn off the garbage on TV & sit quietly before Him. He's calling you back to Him woman of God.

And, please read my husband's blog titled" "Lead Her"-- as it will shed light from a males perspective!

God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey

Few things:

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out!www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 17,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting a Marriage Retreat in August & so far, about 80 couples have signed up!! We would LOVE to meet you! Join us via www.thegonow.com under events!