Sunday, August 4, 2013

The TRUTH about "You can't judge me"

Whenever I talk about homosexuality being a sin, politics, sex outside of marriage and secular music-- people get fired up! I mean, they get plain MAD at me! HOW DARE YOU HEATHER! How DARE you JUDGE them. If I post that God wants your heart-- you say AMEN! But if I challenge your music, you say- "don't judge me. Sadly, we are a church that is constantly being divided against itself (amos 3:3) and we cannot stand because we rationalize certain areas of our life that we aren't quite ready to let go of. To be totally honest with you, I didn't judge you. The bible judged you & it judged you as wrong.  It is God alone that placed those standards in the bible and as humans, we aren't to argue them, but to obey them. The bible is so clear on certain areas of our life but then we refuse to read it and let our feelings lead our life. We compare & contrast sin & say.. "I can't judge you because I got sin in my own life." Your sin cannot blot out another person's sin-- so instead of rationalizing and comparing sins, let's pursue holiness. Let's pursue righteousness! I'm not saying that I'm perfect or that you'll never sin. The difference is this: When you are not saved, you pursue SIN. When you are saved, you pursue Christ. For example, a practicing homosexual cannot be saved because they pursue and continue IN their sin-- even if they have conviction about it. A practicing fornicator isn't saved because they stay in the bed and continue to have sex and ignore the truth. (read 1 John). How can we say that we love Jesus if we continue to run after things that He's made so clear to us to stay away from in our lives?

John 3:19 And the judgment is based on this fact: God's light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil.

 I don't listen to secular music, not because I think I'm better than anyone-- I just understand that MUSIC plants seeds in your heart. I blogged about TV & music affect your life here. Search the heart behind the person that is singing the song. Does their heart belong to the Father? As you read these words, they plant seeds in your heart. When a pastor that preaches the word correctly, preaches-- it plants seeds in your heart.. so when a rapper raps into your ear it doesn't? I can assure you that there's some things going on in your life as a direct result of what you've been watching and listening to on a regular basis. Don't you know that satan was over music in heaven before he got kicked out? But of course he's going for you here on this earth! And the words can even appear to be "safe" but that paired with who is singing it-- it's planting the wrong seeds in your heart. 

 For example, If you're trying to get over an ex-- you can't sit and listen to Adele all day. You think she's helping you to get over them but you're actually becoming more focused on the situation versus allowing God to heal your broken heart. The more you listen to those songs, the deeper the bitterness grows into your heart and all the while Christ is pulling on you! He's saying, "Focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead (Philippines 3:13)!!" Most of that music focuses in on YOU. Music's purpose is to glorify GOD and not self. So, if you're struggling with listening to different rappers or R & B music, ask God to help you. Instead of getting mad at me for telling you that the bible tells us to guard our hearts, ask God to show you why it makes you so upset! 

Lets get back to this judging thing. I think it's so important to talk about one of the most uninterrupted scriptures in the bible.

This is an issue that has confused many people. On one hand, we are commanded by the Lord Jesus, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1) Christians are often accused of "judging" whenever they speak out against a sinful activity. However, that is not the meaning of the Scripture verses that state, "Do not judge." There is a righteous kind of judgment we are supposed to exercise—with careful discernment (John 7:24). When Jesus told us not to judge (Matthew 7:1), He was telling us not to judge hypocritically. Meaning this, I am telling YOU not to do something but secretly, I am doing it.  Matthew 7:2-5 declares, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." What Jesus was condemning here was hypocritical, self-righteous judgments of others.

In Matthew 7:2-5, Jesus warns against judging someone else for his sin when you yourself are sinning even worse. That is the kind of judging Jesus commanded us not to do. If a believer sees another believer sinning, it is his Christian DUTY to lovingly and respectfully confront the person with his sin (Matthew 18:15-17). This is not judging, but rather pointing out the truth in hope—and with the ultimate goal—of bringing repentance in the other person (James 5:20) and restoration to the fellowship. We are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We are to proclaim what God's Word says about sin. 2 Timothy 4:2 tells us, "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful instruction." We are to "judge" sin, but always with the goal of presenting the solution for sin and its consequences—the Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:6).

Do you see the difference? "Do not judge" is not some blanket statement that we make in our efforts to pat others on the back and make them feel ok about their sin. The bible tells us to tell our other sisters and brothers in LOVE. So if a proclaiming Christian is living a certain way, it's ok to be God-led to pull her or him aside and talk with them. Even if they reject what you have to say-- doesn't mean you stop correcting. Even if that means you say after praying to the Lord about it, "sis, you know I love you, please don't get upset with me but-- the guy your dating isn't saved. The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. You used to be so on fire for God, but it's changed since you started dating him." Just make sure that while you're helping them sweep off their porch, that you've swept off your own in that area. You cannot be sleeping with your boyfriend-- keeping him in your bed every night but then trying to tell someone that they need to stop doing the same thing. How does that work?

 We must take our own advice. You ruin your witness when you're doing the SAME thing & preaching against it (and this is what the bible is saying, don't judge hypocritically). It seems like we ALWAYS have all this word for somebody else but all of the word we have for them, isn't working for us. If you've approached your sister in Christ about an area and she has decided to continue in her sin, then just PRAY for her. This doesn't mean you get mad at her or whatever else-- it means that you take her before God and CRY out to HIM on HER behalf. Ask yourself.. do you cry on behalf of your sisters or brothers sins or do you gossip about them? If your heart is pure in your approach-- you'll find that you'll get results. If you're talking DOWN to that person, you won't get anywhere. It's not in what you say but HOW you say it. So, be sweet when you do talk to that person. Remember that you're not GOD and if they reject you, know that they rejected Him first. At times, we just plant the seeds and it's GOD alone that waters them. If you have zero relationship with a person-- you cannot expect them to receive from you either. They aren't confident that you even know them well enough to speak into their life, on their situation and if you don't know them and you're trying to speak into their life its most likely because you're assuming which thus makes you unqualified to speak into their heart. Now, if you don't know the person.. and God tells you to do it--- DO it. Obey quickly. This isn't a formula for anything-- in everything we do, we should be God-led. So, instead of thinking of all the people you're going to correct tomorrow-- Go to the Lord and ask Him to correct and wreck YOU. We must be first humble & not self righteous in our approach. I have learned this in "correcting" people-- you cannot WANT that person to change MORE than they want to change. Remember this-- that if we really believed that prayer really works, why would we stop? 

So, the next time someone throws the word "judge" around, remember as Christians we are to righteously judge one another based on the truth of the bible-- unbelievers have already been judged as they live in darkness. Pray for their salvation instead of screaming at their sin.. they don't belong to the Father-- what else do you expect for them to do?

Just a few things:

1.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts: AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

3. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out!

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

6. I will be in Greensboro, NC this Saturday preaching! If you're in the area-- I would love to meet you! My calendar is here: 

God loves you like crazy!
Heather Lindsey


  1. Thanks for posting this Heather.

    It helped me to think over a lot of things. As a Pinky Promiser, I had to check myself A LOT and continue to do so with the Word. There was no waythat I could counsel my sisters if I was still messing with a random or not controlling my mouth. On one occassion I had just finished telling a sister not to message a random but ten mins later, I wanted to text a random - WHAT A MESS!!! I rebuked myself so hard, I was scared!!! Lol. Praise God!!!

    I will encourage sisters out there to not feel condemned but to dive into the Word and honestly check their hearts about why they tend to get extremely offended by certain things. At times I think we fear letting go of that familiar sin or adhering to the sin makes us feel accepted.

    I would rather fall asleep in silence then plug in some RnB music before I sleep. However from a young age until early this year, I would fall asleep with an RnB radio station on - we all after midnight it's the 'sexy' music hour. I would wake up and play RnB music, no wonder I got into so much mess with guys and thought I had my life all together and the next minute I would be depressed because of heartbreak songs.

    Let's not fool ourselves!! We know the power of Words, Jesus spoke words that healed, rose people from the dead and made Peter walk on water!!! Words are powerful, so let's be careful with what we let play into our ears. I am not judging, just speaking from experience of heartbreak and depression BUT THANK JESUS HE HAS WASHED THAT ALL AWAY!!!

  2. I love this Heather! It's about time that the truth is revealed. It has been said on so many occasions about not judging and even when you want to tell the person you sometimes feel that they will think I am judging them. But thank God for you and how He used you to give clarification. May God bless you and your family as always in Jesus name.

  3. Heather, I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate this post. There are so many people who get plain mad at me too. And it hurts my heart that they're angry with me, write me off, say I'm not a good friend, and more. But I have so much love in my heart! That's why I bring things to people's attention...because I love them. And you know what? I EXPECT for my friends and family who are followers of Christ to do the same thing for me. I pray that they will not keep correction from me. Again, I thank you for this post. Praise Jesus for dying for our sins and for cleansing us from all unrighteousness!!!

  4. I tend to believe the problem with most christian begins in the pulpit, what we hear, you know faith comes by hearing, so Heather, God bless you for speaking the truth. You know the truth will always stand, no matter who agress with it coz truth is not the letter, but truth is Christ, and Christ will always win. If you don't want a man to judge you, why don't you tell God to judge you instead, I think that will be more painfull if God can trasfer his attitude toward your lifestyle to your heart,you can also grieve if you feel what he feels toward yourlifetyle even what you love like music,i once dreamt telling my sister that we should seek transformation,and in the dream i was telling her how our sins grieve God,and in the dream i could feel pain in my heart,believe me i woke up crying coz i felt the weight of my sins in the dream.Lord searh my heart, and expose any sin therein,lead me to the ways of righteousness.

  5. I love this! People just use the "don't judge" card so that you will be silent about sin. Keep it up:-)

  6. I totally agree Heather. We are to judge righteously with love. I feel like God is really checking my heart on this issue because I came across another post related to Homosexuality and doing it in love. I love that Jesus loves me enough to constantly check my heart.

  7. Thanks for the clarity! ! Made understanding judging others very understandable.

  8. I read this whole blog, and I agree with you HL. Scripture is always the superior validation for any opinionated issue, like homosexuality or judging, that are hot topics within the Christian community.

    I feel that if people truly seek after God, then they will have a true revelation on these issues (James 1:5). And, through my experience on ministering to people in love, I've learned that in many cases you have to allow people to remain in their ignorance and love them still.

    Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.

  9. This is a good post and I absolutely loved it. It just reminded me of a verse in John 15:22-''they would not have been guilty of sin if I had not come and spoken to them. As it is, they NOLONGER HAVE ANY EXCUSE FOR THEIR SIN. We love to throw the 'don't judge me card' when confronted with the TRUTH it is just an EXCUSE. Christ has already said we nolonger have any EXCUSES for our sins and when we approach his throne one day all those EXCUSES will be gone. This preached to my heart too,I'm glad that GOD lead you to rectify the misuse of this scripture. God bless you & all the other bros.and sisters in Christ.

  10. I am finding the more i worry about if im right bfore God the less time i have to worry about erybody else. I have enough problems. If im called to correct someone then fine but if i am just being all im better then you no. But i hate it when ppl act like we cant call out sin.

  11. Many Christians are hypocrites though, and I am sure you know some.They preach one thing and live the other and I think that's why many folks can't receive certain messages because of this. You see it all the time and the Lord expose them in front of all. It is very hard for a non believers to accept Christ message because the Christians themselves are not living right. I have seen where non believers have made up in their minds to live right and they do better than people who have been in Christ for decades. There is a lot of things in the church I don't agree with and what saddens me is how some church folks treat people because of their ways. If the curtains were pull we will really see people hearts. But I just pray fro righteousness and God will conquer all!

  12. This is so true. We love to hear about the blessings of God. However, if you mention the topics Obedience, Correction,Sin or Submission- Be ready for the stones! If we are going to follow Jesus, we have to follow Him completely. Great Post !!

  13. Thank you for approaching this topic in the way I needed it to be done. This really helped, I've been thinking about this topic lately, thank you!


  15. I am so glad I ran into this website. I was looking through google when I found it. Anyways this article really spoke to me because people judge me hypocritically and bitterly. I would always get angry with the person who who did it and with God. I guess with God because they would have me thinking that God wasn't on my side and he wasn't going to help me. To be honest I still don't like it, but I don't say anything anymore because I want to avoid confrontations.

  16. Heather and Readers,

    For a while I stopped reading your blog because it was convicting. Before I would read your blog when there was a new post, look forward to your inspirational text during the day, and the text at night. I never thought that I would slip backwards once I met a guy that caught my interest. I thought I was over that stage of falling short due to a man. For 3 years I was doing great.

    Before I knew it I was indulging in sin with a guy I met at church and was being pulled out of the will of God (Yes, ladies. Some men see church as a place to seek women and no they aren't just an attender. They are also members and sometimes involved in ministry. Ask for God's discernment.) I despised the person I was becoming. I displayed anger like I never had before and it started whenever I was around him. I knew God didn't want me with him, but it felt good to have someone to go out with and have someone I could spend time with. I was no longer lonely. However, this wasn't the right company and I knew it.

    One day as I was praying, God let me have it. He said how I already knew this guy wasn't the one for me and that's why I never asked Him anything concerning the guy I met at church. God has always told me when a guy was a "NO". And that has been for every guy I've liked except 1 that I never dated and to this day has kept as a friend.

    I did stop talking to the guy and it took a lot of praying. It wasn't easy. It took not responding to phone calls and text and turning down invitations to go out with people if I knew he would be there.

    I say all of this to only to confirm that everything you are saying is truth, Heather. I was "offended" because I wasn't able to let go of my sin and welcomed distraction, which was a man, since I had been single for so long and I longed to be married.

    I now feel so free and I'm working on getting a stronger relationship with God than I had before. Praying, fasting, and spending time with God isn't optional. We need Him, He doesn't NEED us.

    Thank you for being obedient and continuing to share your story without shame of your past mistakes. God has definitely used your past for his glory.

  17. I totally love this post. This is incredibly amazing. You have eloquently wrote some of the things that I had in my thought. One of my sisters informed me to follow your blog. Permit me to reblog your post, I will reference you. I would like to direct people to read your post. I have also shared your blog link on my facebook.


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