"The Fear Struggle"

So this area has been heavy on my heart lately. Why talk about fear? Because fear attacks our hearts everyday—from “WHEN am I going to get married?! What happens if I can’t get pregnant? What if something happens to my baby?  Am I going to be too old to have kids? Am I going to randomly get shot in a movie theatre? What about my kids? What if their friends make the wrong decisions and peer pressure my child to do the wrong thing? What if I get evicted? What if something happens to my husband---Oh gosh, I couldn’t live on this earth without him! What if something happens to my mother or father?  WORRY.. worry.. worry & FEAR.. Fear FEAR. It is PARALYZING you from really enjoying Christ and your relationship with Him.

Isn’t it ironic that we immediately think of all the bad things that could happen to our loved ones and the crazy thing is—those things have never happened to our loved ones! Along the way—we’ve picked up fear from CNN, Fox News, TV, movies, other families and google. And yes, I say google because the second we have an issue, we run to google to see if other people have gone through what we are going through. And honestly, if you go online you will find so many BAD stories and very few success stories.  And I have to be honest with you, if you have  “friend” that is FILLED with fear and is ALWAYS saying crazy, negative stuff—you should probably limit the amount of time you spend with them. They are poisonous to your life and you will find yourself fearing things you never feared before. Also, turn off First 48, Law & Order or any other show that creates fear in your heart.

So I’m writing this blog to encourage you to rest. I sense such a worry in the hearts of so many. A complete fear, When we fear we tell God that we really don’t trust Him or His guiding. God is clear—Our days our numbered on this earth (Ps. 103:15) As much as we can kick and scream at that scripture, at some point—we all will leave this earth. So while you’re here—you have to make it good and you have to place your trust and hope in Jesus Christ alone.

The sad thing is, we fear all of these natural disasters and freak accidents but we don’t fear laying in the bed with our little boyfriend and having sex outside of marriage.  We don’t fear not submitting to our husbands. We don't fear sneaking & watching pornography on our phones. We don’t fear reaching out to ex boyfriends that you’re still in love with while married on facebook and creating emotional ties that lead to physical ties. We don’t fear lying here & there.. we don’t really fear God. We fear things the obvious  “fears” will affect us physically (even though the secret sins do just as much damage). Our fear is about us and it has nothing to do with God. We don’t want to get hurt. WE don’t want to get evicted. It’s all selfish & about you.

What happen? When did we start fearing things and stop fearing God?!? A fear of God says—I’m in awe of you God. You created the heavens, earth & all these humans on this earth. You’re in control of it all and I ain’t gonna sit up here and let the enemy harass my mind.  Fearing God is being holy because He his Holy (1 Peter 1:16). Fearing God says you want what God wants and you want to do what He wants you to do. It’s because you love Him so much, you have a reverential fear for Him. This crazy love.

You may say—look, Heather—I aint there. How can I get this fear back for God? I ask you to look at your life. When you deliberately sin,, you harden your heart against God. If you are intentional about ignoring Him and more focused on doing what you want to do, you God’s strong voice that gave you that check in your heart in the beginning.. will slowly disappear. You have hardened your heart against God and turned your heart towards sin. Of course you don’t fear God anymore. You’ve built & created idols and now you worship those things with your life and not the living God.  And it’s too hard for you in your head to cut off a bad relationship or a friendship because you don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings but you KNOW it aint right. Everytime you disobey God.. and ignore Him on purpose.. you’re hardening your heart. Obey QUICKLY. Don’t even entertain those crazy emotions that say “you’ll hurt their feelings, what about this? What about that?!” Let’s stack it up—place God & that person, job or thing next to Him. Which one do you want? You may quickly say “GOD!” I want GOD! If you really want HIM.. you’ll CHOOSE Him. Your life will demonstrate your choice.

I struggled with fear GREATLY throughout my life. I was a huge worrier. I definitely got it from my mama! I guess if you had 24 children (adopted all but one, including me! J) You may find yourself worried about their lives in some type of way. My mom always got so involved in every situation someone was going through & she brought it on herself. Most recently, I had to tell her—“MAMA! You’re 70 years old! Stop all that stressing out! You are too old to take on the cares of everybody else. All of your children are 18 and older—old enough to make decisions for themselves. You can no longer control that.”  Anyway , I somehow picked that up growing up. I also experienced death with family members at a young age. Although I don’t remember them very well, my two brothers passed away when I was about 5 or 6. One murdered, one had a heart transplant and his body rejected the heart. Then, when I was 16 (One day after my birthday) on September 19^th, 1998 my best friend and sister, Kimmy died. Gosh. My heart was officially broken. I was crushed. She’s the one who first told me about Christ and she was like a second mom. She was only 21. The doctors overdosed her on anesthetic during a routine checkup for Cystic Fibrosis.  No, we didn’t sue. We didn’t want to re-live & fight with anyone. My parents were those types of people. They believed that God’s vengeance was stronger then their own.  Then, my father passed away in 2000. It was devastating. I was at Michigan State University for a summer program and he passed. He had been sick for awhile, but it was still hard. Then, a few years passed and my mother remarried and after 7 years—my step-father passed way—taking me up to this past year. Then, a month later, my nephew committed suicide. THEN, my girlfriend, Cathy passed away suddenly of a brain aneurysm. All within about 2 months. TALK about FEAR! 

...The second Cornelius (my husband) left the house for two seconds I would get these crazy thoughts! What if someone hurts him in the parking lot. What if a homeless guy attacks him? What if this.. what if that?! I was so wrapped up in fear and abandonment. So I would give him the LONGEST hug & kiss before he left and I would tell him like 50 million times how much I loved him. I just had too many people die in my life and I wanted to hold on tight to those that I loved. After I CLUNG to my husband for a couple more months.. I realized that my clinging was based in fear. Fear that I would lose him like I lost so many others. Fear of going through what my mother went through twice. Gosh, it was so hard. So one day, as I was spending time with God—His presence wrecked me. He showed me how much I didn’t really trust Him. He showed me that no matter what happens in my life that He is with me and that He won’t put more on me then I can bear.  As hard as it was—I decided to take baby steps by faith and trust Him. Have I all the way arrived?! HECK no! I will never arrive. Even as I type this—I’m sitting on a plane. I feared planes for years—because I knew if I crashed, my tail was gonna die. Now, while flying—I look out the window and I get to see a birds eye view of what God sees. It makes my issues seem so tiny. God is so huge! He’s in control of our lives!! He has our back!! He LOVES us so much!! I have completely submitted my whole heart to Jesus so my life is REALLY in His hands. I don’t have to put up with getting harassed by satan and NEITHER do YOU. I know that … I can do all things through Christ WHO strengthens ME. And it is through Him.. we are free from fear. It is THROUGH Him.. we have peace in peaceless situations. It’s through HIM.. we have joy when it looks like we shouldn’t be happy. Our hope is in Jesus alone. Let’s not place it in anybody or anyone else.

If you’re struggling with fear, I recommend that you meditate on these scriptures in addition to guarding your heart:

2 Timothy 1:7- I have not given you the spirit of fear, put of power, love and of a sound mind.

1 John 4:18- There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear, because fear hath torment. He that fearth is not made perfect in love.

Luke 4:10- For it is written, He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee. And in their hands they shall bear me up, if I dash my foot against a stone.

Fun reminders:

If you want some cute Pinky Promise bracelets, shirts, or journals go here:

If you want to sign up for a local Pinky Promise Group in your area-- go here! There's about 4500 girls in groups all over the world! Pretty awesome! Go here: 

If you want to sign up for the Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta--I would LOVE to see you! More details are here: 


GOD loves you like crazy,


Heather Lindsey