The "Pinky Promise" & "No Randoms" Bracelets are IN!!!

It's official! "The Pinky Promise" & "No Randoms" Bracelets are in!! The MOVEMENT has begun!!

What is a Random? $10 each

For the single person: It's a person that you know you'll never marry but you date them because you're lonely or to fill a void. It's that ex that you KNOW isn't any good for you but you keep going back to them because you're comfortable. It's also for those unhealthy friendships that are distracting you and pulling you away from Christ. What a beautiful reminder that we COMMIT our whole lives to Christ daily. 

 For the married person: It's saying that you won't allow unhealthy relationships to affect your marriage. This could be a co-worker or an ex boyfriend or girlfriend that is trying to connect with you emotionally or physically. It could be that friend that talks about your spouse in a negative way or gossips about everyone and anything. "No Randoms" is a reminder of Proverbs 4:23 "Guard your heart, because out of your heart flows the issues of life"

What does Pinky Promise mean? $10 each

 

For the single person: It's a promise to honor God with your body. To refuse to give your body to anyone that hasn't paid the price for you called marriage. It's a promise to stay pure before God in EVERY single way. It's a promise that says, I won't test the boundaries in my relationship to see how far I can push it sexually--but instead--I want God to have my heart.

For the married person: It's a promise to God that you will honor your marriage convenant. It's saying that I promise not to step outside of my marriage, cheat on my spouse and that I'll work through every issue. 

Key & Respect Charms $8 each

We also wanted to introduce the key & respect charms. A man's number one need is respect and the key is the key to your heart ladies. We want YOU ladies to hold both the respect ring and the key to your heart. NO man should have that key to your heart until he proposes to you, walks you down the aisle & marries you. The respect charm is something you should ALWAYS keep with you. It's a reminder to respect your man and to not undermine him. You can add these to your favorite necklace or keep them in your wallet.

Just a few things before you purchase! 

• "No Randoms" & "Pinky Promise" Tees will be available in the mid-February!
• Not ALL charms on your bracelet are the same! Each bracelet is specially handcrafted and no two bracelets are the same. The charms are subject to availability and are given out randomly with your purchase!
• A special gift is included in each package!
• If you're a church and you would like to get your youth group involved in this movement--I do offer discounts for large orders!
• If you have ANY questions--please email askheatherlove@gmail.com
• Due to the high demand--these bracelets may take 7-10 business days before arrival. Please be patient and it will be "worth the wait!" :)
• Continue to check back as I'll be posting additional fun items as we PUSH this movement! TELL your friends about it.. get a bracelet for them! Let's ALL decide to honor God with our life & our bodies!! 

...Ready, set... go!! Here's the store link: http://heatherlove.bigcartel.com/

"How to Spend Time With God"

"Whenever I get lonely, I know that it's God calling me back to fellowship with Him. So take that lonely feeling & give it to God. Pour out."

So, I've gotten this question a ton! So many people want to know how to have quiet time with God. I totally understand. When I first gave my life to Christ in 2003--I heard from my best friends sister that I was supposed to spend time with God daily. So I got a journal, some gospel music, a bible I could understand & I found a local church that taught the word correctly.

Before we get started into the basics..We must put our relationship with God in perspective. It's a marriage. WE are His church and Jesus is the Christ. The body of believers that make up the Church are collectively called bride of Christ. As Bridegroom, Jesus gave His life for His bride, “to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word” (Ephesians 5:25-26), with it, the eternal union of Christ and His bride will be actualized (Revelation 19:7-9; 21:1-2). (this is Jesus dying for our sins & making us whole. Allah, Buddha, Mary or any other religion didn't save us or die for us. Christ did. Thus, CHRIST is the door--so through CHRIST are your sins forgiven, not anyone or anything else.)
I then read in Isaiah 54:5 that said "The Maker is my Husband" and Jeremiah 3:14: “Turn, O backsliding children, says the LORD; for I am married unto you." I went throughout the scripture because I wanted to understand the relationship between GOD & us through Jesus. I looked up a ton of scriptures on God's love for me and it helped me to understand God's personality & how I can have a relationship with God the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. I loved those two above scriptures because it made me realize HOW close I should be to Christ. If He's my husband I need to REALLY act like I'm married to Him & not CHEAT on Him with this world.

Whenever I slip on spending time with God I tend to be more touchy, more "emotional" and people tend to get on my nerves. lol Why? Because I'm empty. HE fulfills me, not working a million hours at work, a man, a job, a marriage, kids or anything else. I can then sense God pulling on my heart.. telling me that HE misses me. Does God miss you? Do you acknowledge Him? Start today.
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How To Spend Time With God

1. SET a time & stick with it. Statistics show that if you do something for 21 days it will become a habit. I like to spend time with God FIRST thing in the morning. It sets the tone for the day & it puts life in perspective. When you first get started, you're GOING to get attacked. You'll be sleepy, bored, tired, drained & you'll find a million reasons to sleep in. Just fight through it & TELL your flesh what to do. Remember that you're supposed to be controlling it--it's not supposed to be controlling you.

2. Find a place to have your quiet time everyday. When I lived in a studio in New York years ago with a roommate, I had my quiet time in the bathroom. It didn't matter WHERE I did it.. I just needed HIM. Now, thankfully, I have more room to jump around. I also love worshipping God in different places.. different hotels, beaches, whenever--however. So if you're traveling a ton--don't worry! Just find a place that is NOT distracting you from that time.

3. Set the atmosphere. I like to put worship music on when I first get started. When you're pouring out your heart to God & worshipping Him--it's nice to have beautiful music playing in the background. I look at it like a brush scrubbing off of your "funk" of stresses, worries and cares. It sets your heart to receive your study time & helps de-clutter your mind because you're taking the focus from YOU & your stuff to Jesus. While I'm playing the worship music, I have a blast! I dance, sing, I fall flat on my face before God, cry out to Him, pray in the tongues & pray for others.

My favorite worship singers: Jesus Culture, Kari Jobe, Hillsong, Jeremy Riddle & New Life Worship

4. Get quiet. After I pour out to God.. I grab my journal & I start journaling to God. I just write whatever He puts on my heart.. during these times, He begins to deal with me about what's going on in my life, ministry, work, jobs, family, and in the world in general. I have pages and pages of journals since I first got saved in 2003. It's so amazing to see the things that God said come to pass from when I was 20.

5. Talk to God. Don't go to God all deep. TALK to Him the way you would talk to a very close friend. He's not in the thee's & "thou's"--I can't talk to God all deep. I need to be myself and if He's going to be my Everything, I have to be real with Him. So when I first got saved (and to this day) I go to God... and say .. "Good morning Daddy!!! I'm suuuuuuuuuper excited about today.. I have a brand new day to worship you with my life--I'm so grateful, so thankful for you.  You're everything to me. I'm nothing without you.." Sometimes, I cook breakfast for Him & I'll sit & just talk to Him. I may say "Lord, this really bothered me, or this MADE me mad and I know it's wrong but darnit

6. Pull out your bibles! Grab your pen & paper. It's time to LEARN. Usually, God places a certain scripture on my heart but if you're just getting started, I recommend you all to read John first, then Matthew, Mark and Luke. Then go into Acts and read through the New Testament. Most of the New Testament is prophecy that comes to pass from the Old Testament. Be sure to study Romans and Philippians. Grasp an understanding that the law in the Old Testament has been fulfilled when Jesus came to the earth & NOW you're saved by FAITH through Christ Jesus. I also do this.. if I'm struggling in a certain area--I always look up EVERY scripture on that area & meditate on it for awhile. I write out the scriptures in long hand and put them notecards. And I STARE at them, think about them, study them out, look up the definitions on each word. When you cross reference & pull out your bible dictionary.. the Holy Spirit is going to take you ALL over & give you so much "word behind the word." THEN when stupid thoughts come in--I captured the thought & I MADE it obey Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5). I had SOMETHING in my heart that made it obey Christ. You cannot be empty.. fighting with willpower.

Some of my favorite study bibles & resources:

1. Life Application Study Bible
2. Joyce Meyer Everyday Living Bible
3. Dakes Study Bible
4. Students Life Application Bible
5. NASB Cross Reference Bible
6. The Power of Speaking God's Word by Joyce Meyer (a small concordance--perfect for quick studying)
7. Beth Moore has some great study resources. I always recommend a book/question study.

7. Then, be quiet. After you study each scripture.. let God speak to you again. Remember he's your FRIEND. (James 2:23)

As I've always said before.. make spending time with God fun!! Sometimes, I go to a Coffee Shop with just me & Him & will read & study. When I was single, I would dress up, make reservations and take my bible & have a date night! I would go to the movies with Jesus! I would cook him dinner, brownies AND we'd watch a movie at home alone. We'd go grocery shopping together. At nighttime, I would talk to Him about what I should wear the next day (sometimes, we would disagree lol) I would ask Him how He wants me to wear my hair. I would go for a jog in the morning to clear my head & just talk to Him about anything and everything. That MAY sound weird to you but if YOU want Jesus to really be your LIFE--you need to start INCLUDING Him into EVERY aspect of your LIFE.

So you take ALL of that.. & then go apply whatever He tells you to do. I started to obey Christ..whenever He told me to do something. You hear God's voice through your inner ear and some would call it your "gut", conscience or "just something told you that you should have done that." I always CHECK my peace. If something comes up--I immediately tune into the Holy Spirit and I can tell if He is tugging my heart one way or another. I LISTEN to that peace. A great checker is if you're in an unhealthy relationship & God is telling you to leave it--you won't have any peace about the person. The more time you spend with God, the more you'll be able to recognize His voice. Join me in committing to spending this time with God everyday.

Last point.. do NOT make the above a law. As I said--salvation is through faith now in Jesus Christ & not according to any law. I used to spend time with God out of fear--thinking that He would hate me if I didn't spend time with Him. Spend time with GOD out of your Love for Him. Just like you would spend time with your spouse because you love them.. same goes for God. Remember grace..grace..grace. If you aren't there "yet"--ask GOD to help you to desire spending time with Him. God will meet you wherever you are.

My hubby, Cornelius taught a message on "How to Study The Bible"--I encourage you to check it out:--->>here.
God loves you like crazy,

Love,
Heather

"The List"--My top things I wanted in a Husband"

(Me in 2006!)

So, I must share my top things that I wanted in a husband. I wrote this in about 2006 and I'm amazed after looking back at it because my husband came ready-made at about 90% of this list!

Before you read my list..There is NOTHING wrong with your 50 "standards"--but you better make sure that you're all those things on your little list. Don’t put a ton of pressure on a guy to be something that you aren’t . Granted, the man is supposed to be a leader, and that’s a given but my husband wasn’t EVERYTHING on my list. He grew and developed into an amazing man and now.. my dream guy. He’s still working on some stuff and I’m thankful for grace. The same grace he gives me as I need to work on things as well! Development MEANS some fights, tears, arguments, and alot of "meeting in the middle"--so don't think that the process is easy. If it was EASY, the divorce rate would be at 0%.  So if your guy or girl has the basics—stop being them down every two minutes because they haven’t changed 100%. You aren’t perfect either—as much as we’d like to think we were.  Even WITH your list, our focus should always be on Christ--not a checkbox. As long as my future husband had some of the important things & NO dealbreakers, to me--he was worth starting a relationship with. So listen to the Holy Spirit as He LEADS & guides you. Someone may have EVERYTHING you want on your list but you have zero peace about them. So--they're disqualified. God knows your end from your beginning. Trust Him.

My List… J of wants in a Husband-2006

1. He must love the Lord thy God with all of his heart mind soul and strength and love his neighbor as himself.
2. He MUST be a gentlemen open doors, hold my hand as I walk up and down stairs, help me put my coat on, pull out my chair, All that and then some…)
3. He must be a hearer and a doer of the Word of God, PERIOD. No fakin’ and makin’.
4. Must be intelligent
5. He must have a servant’s heart
6. He must understand the needs of me as a woman and the purpose for our relationship
7. He must have a JOB
8. Financially secure- How am I gone eat?!? Investments? Goals?! Plans?! Actions.. I need to see some FRUIT before the RING!
9. I desire not to be kissed until my wedding day. (crazy, but so true) **I love how this happen. We kissed on our wedding day 8/14/2010!** Go Jesus!
10. Must be a giver to God’s Kingdom.
11. Must be attractive and keep himself together, clothes, haircut, work out, a very neat person in appearance
12. Cannot have a temper
13. Must love to read
14. Someone who is secure
15. Must pray in tongues, and have prayer/bible study/ devotion every morning
16. Must keep me before the Lord, He’s the Christ in the Spirit and I’m the church, must walk side by side.
17.  Must NOT try to have sex w/ me prior to marriage- I must be precious to HIM
18.  I must be able to be myself, weakness and all
19. Must listen to me!
20. Must have a pure heart
21. NO foul language
22. Be positive in his thinking!
23. NEAT!!!
24. Must be an encourager
25. Cooking is always a bonus J
26. Affection!!!! Touching is my love language!
27. Must SPOIL me and put me first (after Jesus)

I always say this...before you get into a relationship--make sure that your foundation is Christ. If you keep jumping from relationship to relationship it's like spraying perfume but refusing to take a shower. All of that hurt from past relationships is going to seep into the next one. GOD wants your HEART. So while you're making this list.. make one to Christ.. of everything you want to be for HIM.

I just taught on Overcoming Hurt on 1/17/2012 you can catch it ----> here

God loves you like crazy,


Heather Lindsey

Can Guys & Girls Be .. Just Friends?

 Sooooo many people ask me this questions. Can guys & girls be friends? I'll give you the straight up answer and then I'll back myself up.

No.

You heard it right. ME personally.. I don't believe that guys & girls can really be friends. Understand that I'm coming from a wife's perspective. But when I was a single woman, I didn't really have a bunch of guys as my friends. They were more-so acquaintances. They were guys from my church and we would all go out in a large group with girls & guys and we would hang out then. There wasn't a ton of 1:1 friendships going on. Now, as a wife- I'm cool with my friend's husbands and when we're all amongst each other--we will converse, but I'm not calling or emailing them on the side.

Let's be clear:
The Bible does not forbid close friendships between men and women. As Christians, however, there are some principles that we would be wise to heed. Married people especially need to be wary of friendships with members of the opposite sex because temptations are more likely to arise when there are marital problems. If a man's best friend is a woman who is not his wife, he is likely to share these problems with her, which can lead to an unhealthy emotional attachment.

Most married men (or women) who have affairs purposely go out to find a romantic interest outside of their marriage. So many people say, "I didn't mean for it to happen; it just happened." These things "just happen" when we put ourselves in situations that are difficult to control. When a man has a wife who is not necessarily very attentive to his needs, he could easily feel that he has fallen in love with another woman who does give him this attention he craves. And LADIES, don't even think "this won't happen to you"--As a wife, you're GOING to get tested and that "guy friend that is always there for you"--is going to fill a void in your heart if your husband who you see all the time is driving you nuts. In a vulnerable state--you WILL cross boundaries. So there is NO option for me. It's Jesus & my husband. WHY create extra wars in your mind & think that you have a back up plan when your mad at your spouse? (This goes for those of you in relationships too)

Even a marriage that is built on a foundation of faith in Christ and has relatively few problems is not immune to extra-marital temptations. This is why the Bible does not tell us to stick around and try to fight temptation, but to flee from it like we do from all "youthful lusts" (2 Timothy 2:22). Trying to fight temptation seems to become especially difficult when it comes to matters of the heart or the lusts of the flesh. First Corinthians 6:18 tells us that we need to run away from sexual sin, because it is much easier to run away from temptation than to stay and fight it.

Married men and women should carefully avoid putting themselves in compromising situations when it comes to the opposite sex. If they are seen together in public, it will give the wrong impression. If they are alone on the phone or in person, they will subject themselves to the temptation of an emotional or physical affair. The Bible tells us that everything we do should be for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31), so the wise thing would be to stick to visiting as couples or "double dating" with other married couples, as opposed to risking the complications associated with close friendships with the opposite sex

So if you're single and thinking--this doesn't apply to me. I'm not married. This is how it applies to
you.

Guys & Girls

1. Their mindset is different- They communicate differently. A guy may be just being nice to a woman for YEARS and she may secretly like him and hope that one day he does ask her out. So if you're being nice.. she may catch feelings. Either way, she's emotionally connected to you.

2. It is natural for a man to be attracted to a woman and vice versa. Although you're friends.. you'll find things about each other that are attractive to one another. There's not enough boundaries to put in place to stop that next level from happening. So, YOU may not like him but how do you know if you're on the same page? He may secretly like you & won't tell you because he knows that your friendship could be ruined. If you go around and ask most men if they would "get with their female friends"--they would say YES, if she let me.
Check out this funny youtube clip that I found----> called "Why Women & Men Can't Be Friends"

3. A friend is supposed to keep you accountable and a friend is caused to keep you sharp a man needs to be sharpened by a man and a woman needs to be sharpened by a woman because they are of like mind. There's NO way that a man can tell me or help me understand why my hormones rage 1x a month and how I can deal with it. Just sayin'. :)

4. What happens when you do get into a relationship? There may be conflict between your "best male or female friend" and your now girlfriend or boyfriend. For example, if you're dating a guy and his female best friend hates you--it puts everyone in an awkward situation. But men, if the woman you're dating is someone you want to marry one day--your "best friend" is going to have to understand that she is going to have to be friends with your girlfriend in order for her to continue her friendship with your YOU. If the person refuses to be friends with your girl--then they have disqualified themselves from your life.

5. What about those secret affections for you? He's just friends.. she's my "homegirl."--and deep down.. she's thinking.. I want to be with you so the friendship is hurting her. So you become his back-up friend. You hang out with him a TON while he's single but as soon as he gets into a relationship--he stops spending time with you and starts spending time with his new girl. Then, you feel stupid because you really care.

So yes, maybe when you're 8, you can be friends with your neighbor of the opposite sex. However, we ALL know how those hormones get kicking in after that age & they become prospects.

Some of you may disagree but MOST of you have an end goal to be married one day. If you really want to be married one day--spare yourself all of that drama. If you ask ANY husband or wife--they will tell you that they aren't comfortable with their husband or wife having a best friend of the opposite sex. I don't are how you flip it.. there's still that nagging uncomfortable feeling. It's not jealousy, it's a holy righteous jealousy that is rightfully so. A marriage is powerful covenant & it's to be protected.

Go out in groups with guys  and girls & be kind to them. My husband & I went out in groups while we dated. You can best see a person's true colors in groups because they aren't putting on a private show to impress you. OUT of those groups--yes--1:1 dating can happen FROM a friendship. But you must court with a purpose.If you need advice from a male perspective, get on the phone with a husband/wife couple that are Christians and that are committed to helping you. Men, find another guy that can pour into you & help you out. If you don't have any.. ever thought about asking God? He's your PROVIDER. He has your back!

Also, my husband is my best friend. NOW. We courted with the intention to MARRY. We knew that we were going to head down that road so we were "friends" with a purpose. Any guy friend I used to be friends with .. is now friends with my husband. It just is.. what it is.

God loves you like crazy!!!

Love,
Heather