Wednesday, September 14, 2011

There’s only ONE guy for me, right?

Story of our life. Me teasing Cornelius! :)
There is NO such thing as only one guy for you or the “perfect” mate. If there was, then God would take away your right to choose. You are a free moral agent, you have a CHOICE to live for God or live for Satan. You have a choice to date a good, godly man, or date a fool. You have a CHOICE to have sex before marriage or get it in everyday while you’re dating. (No wonder it’s taking him so long to propose) It’s all wrapped up in a CHOICE. Ladies, you get to choose whose vision you want to follow. If you are dating someone and he doesn’t know where he’s going..he’s taking all these random jobs, he’s confused, you are confused ..WHY the heck is he dating you? Genesis 2:18 says that “It is not good that man should be alone, I will make a help meet for him”. Adam needed a HELPER to tend the garden with him. If Adam was sittin’ in the garden sayin’ to God “I don’t feel like namin’ all them animals, I’m chillin’, I want to be a rapper. I don’t wanna tend no garden"—I bet Eve wouldn’t have come for awhile until he accepted the vision that God gave Adam earlier in that chapter. If Adam aint have no job, he wouldn’t need EVE. How you gonna HELP someone that doesn’t know what they are doing and they are more focused on “helping” themselves to your BODY then helping you to cultivate the characteristics in you so you can BE an effective helper.

Cornelius is not the only man I could marry..I’m sure there’s hundreds of men I could have married. However, we got to know each other, he was checking me out to see if I had the characteristics to HELP him with what God called him to do. I was checking out his vision, standards, and how he lived his life. We weren’t laying up, kissing, rubbin’ and putting ourselves in compromising situations. We set boundaries and stuck to them. No kissing, no sleeping under the same roof, no late night phone calls for all hours on end, no movies, nada. How can I properly see if HE can lead me if emotions and soul ties are tied up the relationship? It would have CLOUDED the vision I have of him. Then, I’ll marry “a guy” with a clouded vision of him, and then when the smoke clears..we divorce because, we “grew apart” or he fit how I "used to see myself" When Cornelius proposed to me the question he asked was “Will you marry me” AKA—Will you accept my vision.

WHY the heck would you marry a man that has no vision, no direction, unstable and without God. I can assure you that your life will continue in that. NOW, the reason Cornelius is “perfect” for me is because we gonna WORK our relationship to PERFECTION. We work DAILY to make it work. Our foundation is SOLID. A relationship is nothing but a daily decision to make it WORK. Get that dumb fantasy OUT of your mind that “prince charming” is gonna come & sweep you off your feet—cuz “Prince charming” got an issue. Everybody do. You date to see what yo issue is..and see if you can live with it.. Don’t marry an expectation that you can “change that person.” So if he AINT know Jesus befo’ ya’ll started dating…don’t try to go “get him saved”. And if he’s “charming” you, I’m sure he’s “charming” others. Charm is a SPIRIT that needs to be dealt with.

“Genesis 18:14- is anything to hard or too wonderful for the the appointed time..Sarah will get pregnant by her husband, Abraham. “ How does that apply? The situations and circumstances didn’t look like Sarah could get pregnant at her old age. It may not look like you are meeting anyone that fits your standards, you might FEEL lonely. You MAY be getting older. I tell you today, GET your eyes off that lie. Get BUSY about the things of God. Join a church, become active, spend time with God, get authentic about your relationship with Him. The MAKER is your husband (Isaiah 54:5). CUT off any fool that’s hindering you from all of the above. If you have to ask if that person is hindering you, they are. There’s NOT just one person. But you must be EQUIPPIED to recognize the COUNTERFIET. God will present you WITH one with standards and he will measure up. Will you be patient and trust Him or will you go “make it happen?” I can assure you that if you do the latter, you’ll get YOUR results. Aren’t you tired of that? I would be.


  1. Amazing. Thanks. :)

  2. Thank u! Amen Heather, quick question I get a lot of different advice on how to come across this "man of God". Some say I need to make myself available like attend conferences, events, etc and kind of "put myself out there". But I feel like I should just focus on God and building my relationship and His Kingdom and just trust that it will just happen! That God will provide and when I least expect it, I'll meet him. Is that naive? I'm just confused about what I need to do bc im not looking to chase anyone or "be on the look out" but at the same time, I can't expect that the guy of my dreams will just drop in my lap. Where's the balance?
    Thanks in advance

    1. Hey love, Matthew 6:33 is clear-- it says to SEEK the KINGDOM of God .. not seek a man. I don't believe that our motive for doing all of the above should be to "meet" a guy-- b/c what if you don't? Then, you'll be disappointed and miss out on the real reason to attend those things. I don't think you need to be on the "look-out" for anyone. I think you should rest. Do what you do daily & GOD will meet you wherever you are. He did that with my husband and I. I walked by him for 3 years straight at church.. and when we did connect, after 20 minutes, we knew that we met our one-day spouses. So you're doing the right thing. GO to a conference out of your love for God to learn more--build your relationship with Him & if God has to import a man from Dubai, He will. Just for you!

  3. Wow Heather you need an award for this, because you painted my heart so well, plus your insight is very powerful and applicable. You always speak the truth, and that is what people need to hear. Keep being a blessing wherever you go, the world truly needs more people like you.

  4. Hi Heather
    Just started reading your blog a week ago and I am so blessed by your words. My favourite part of all your blogs is the Word of God and how you challenge us to go back to him and spend time with him alone to truly understand where we are going in Christ and possibly marriage one day.
    I come from a church where dating is taboo. We just aren't allowed to do it, as our youth leaders call it a distraction. They tell us to stop looking at the exception (my brother who successfully dated and married) and we shoild look at all the other failed examples of christians atempting to date.
    I don't complety disagree with them as if the time isn't right then really, you shouldn't be dating. But what about when God tugs on a man's heart? According to my leaders then he goes to the pastora who then come to the lady and they are the mediators. But personally I do not feel like being blindsided by some brother who I NEVER even looked at and now I have to decide if I want to marry him or not. . .
    I am so thrilled to have found your blog which helps me realise that MY God will lead me in this department. As I walk with him and become the young lady in HIM I know that when the time is right, he will reveal my partner to me. And if not. . . That's cool too
    Thank you for showing how it's done right!


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