Thursday, September 15, 2011

Lord, I'm Broken

Soo, in the past two months, my father passed away, my 23 year old nephew committed suicide and a good friend who was 29 died of a brain aneurysm. Then, I lost a lot of relationships that I used to have--I've learned that when you step out & do what God is telling you to do, 50% of the people won't agree with you. They will think you are crazy & that you lost your mind. I've learned that people don't like change much. But WHO cares? You obey GOD. I don't care who disagrees with you. What a season of a separation!! Talk about broken!!! I learned what was really important, life wasn't about all the stupid things I thought it was about. I learned that our days our numbered on this earth--so you better make the right decision while you are in this physical body. I learned that everyone cannot go with you where you are going. In Genesis, God to Abraham.. GET away from those people that frame your mindset, get away from that family & go to a place where I will show you." I'm pretty sure Abraham got some heat for that one. As all of this is going on, I'm getting weary, tired, drained & I'm still grieving. Then..

The Lord told me to GET UP--He said "Heather, you have got to press forward & do all the things I told you to do, don't let your situation or an excuse be the reason you stop growing!!! It reminds me of John 5--Jesus saw a man who was lame with a disease for 38 years, laying by the pool of Bethesda. He went to the man and said "Do you want to be well?" He cried out the the Lord, telling Jesus that every time he tried to get into the pool, someone went ahead of him and got their "healing". Jesus didn't sit and join the man's pity party, He told him to GET UP and later on in that chapter He told him to "stop sinning before something worse happens to you." I believe there was a couple weeks in there where I was RESISTING GOD. I was so tired, so drained from ministry, life, and all of these things happening, I didn't have a motivation to do anything! I believe that I was in the beginning stages of Depression. Whatever you focus on, will amplify. I was so wrapped up & focused on ME. I'm humbled and grateful that God took my broken pieces and sat me on top of solid ground and put a new song in my mouth..(psalms 40:3).

Now, I have a BRAND new outlook on life. I really believe that going through that season was a season of FIRE. My faith was tested on levels I didn't know EXISTED. I'm amazed that each & every day while I was going through things, I still had my hope placed in Him as the Holy Spirit whispered to me that "I am not alone, I'm always with you, I'll never leave or forsake you."...

I want to challenge you to GET UP from whatever situation happen in your life! Don't dwell on it, ponder it, focus on it!! Go FIND someone who is broken and help them. God loves you like crazy & has an awesome plan for your life. Let Him refresh you. Remember that everyone can't rock with you. BUT still LOVE, forgive them & MOVE on. .."They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us... 1 John 2:19"

God is beyond faithful. His presence IS my abundance.


  1. Definitely needed to hear this word today. I've been in a place much similar and learned that without struggle and hard times in hard places there is no progress. Sometimes you have to experience hard things to strengthen your spirit, life, and walk with Christ. So many times we want and expect blessings fully blossomed, and when they don't come out that way we get discouraged, but we must remind ourselves that flowers start in seed form, and with patience comes abundance and contentment. :) Thanks for sharing your experiences.

    1. I just can't thank you enough!!!!!!!!!!!
      I can not stop reading this blog, I am really thankful and am learning a lot from this blog; "my Adam is sleeping......"
      "spending time with God" I am on overload!!!

      Apryll : )))

  2. Thanks so much for sharing this. Today is the first time I have visited your blog. I'm in such a season of fire and as a independent, professional, now single mother, I hate to admit-but I sometimes 'forget' to depend on God. I know I need him! I need him daily! I know that he will return EVERYTHING that has been stolen from me both physical things and mentally. Thank you for fulfilling the plan and purpose that God has ordained for your life! You're such a blessing.

  3. I have definitely been in this place. I am a firm believer in generational curses and it has taken me a long time to break away from the curse of depression and inadequacy that has plagued the women in my family for decades. When I finally rested firmly on God's promises, I became so liberated and full of joy! Not only am I a better daughter to Him, it has allowed me to be a better sister to His children who are in need.

    God bless you Heather and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  4. Thanks for sharing. God bless you

  5. Thank you for sharing. You are truly a blessing to many and God is bringing you out of the fire shiny and polished... Be Blessed :)

  6. God bless you. I needed to read this. I feel God making changes in my life and spent some time moping about it. But His message through you is very clear. Thanks for this motivation!


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