Saturday, January 6, 2018

"I'm Afraid, God."



We are into day six of the Journal Challenge and honestly, this area has been heavy on my heart.

How raw is your quiet time with God? Meaning, are you straight honest with God?

"God, I am afraid that I will fail."
"God, I am afraid that I won't be enough for my husband and children."
"God, I am afraid that I will be single my entire life."
"God, I am afraid that I won't have anywhere to live and I will be stuck on the streets."
"God, I am afraid for my children's health."
"God, I am afraid that I am going to divorce like my parents."
"God, I am afraid that I will be embarrassed if I step out on faith."
I am AFRAID GOD!

Do you know that HE can work with those kind of prayers?? He can work with someone who says, "I don't know what I am doing, I am trying to figure it all out and I feel like my life is a hot mess."

So, we go into our quiet time, completely done up. We try to pray where it sounds super fancy and we feel like we have no connection to God.
Honey, God is looking at your HEART. What good is it to pray or repeat fancy prayers when you refuse to get to the root of what is going on in your HEART?

Lets not "over spiritualize prayer." Let's not try to impress Him with big words and whatever else. It seems like we may pray for period of time and then .. oops, we got a text message. Or, crap, I forgot to pay that bill.. our minds are EVERYWHERE. Then, you end up making breakfast, or on social media for the next hour and you think, well, I will just try to pray again tomorrow.
I love Deuteronomy 6:5 it says, "And you must love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all of your soul and all of your strength."

Can we honestly say that we love God with all of our hearts?
I at times worry about things in ministry. I'm not even gonna sit up here and pretend like it's all perfect over here because it's not. As I worry and ponder a plan B that never happened in the first place (ya'll know how we pre-worry.) I hear the Lord tell me to stop focusing on what I can see and focus on HIM. On HIM and HIM alone. NOTHING ELSE. If I love God with ALL of my heart than I trust HIM. That means that no matter the outcome of "whatever, I trust Him to work out these things for my good as I live for Him." When we focus on our problems more than we focus on God, our problems become so much bigger.

So, when I run to my quiet time, I am honest with God. "I am stressed OUT JESUS! You literally have to help me. This and this is wrong. I know my weakness is perfected in your strength and I am so glad because I'm a hot mess right now."

Prayer is simply communicating and how we connect with God. I have learned to simply enjoy God in my prayer time. I ask Him "How are you doing?" "I don't understand how you know everyone and you still don't just throw away the whole earth, how are you so patient?" And, HE actually responds! I don't focus on my "special prayers" I focus on GOD through Jesus Christ. If I am seeking to connect with God and have a relationship with Him through the Holy Spirit, then it must be mutual.

Meaning, I don't just talk: I listen too. At times, we run down our entire laundry list of all of these "things" to God and we then we get up from our prayer and go about our day.

My prayer time typically looks like this:
1. Turn on my worship music
2. At times, I may pour out my heart to God here before I get started. Casting my care onto Him because He cares for me. (1 Peter 5:7)
3. Pray in the Holy Spirit/English for about 20-min or however long I am led.
4. Then, I start to Journal. This is where I start it off with "Dear Daddy" and I LET IT RIP. Whatever is on my heart, whatever I am feeling, I pour it out to Him. This is also where I ask about Him. "Daddy, how is your day? Is your heart sad? What can I do to make things better?"
5. Then, I listen. I get quiet and I write down whatever the Lord is telling me to do.
6. Then, I read and study scriptures based on what I am going through or how I am led by God. I also write out scriptures long hang here on note cards.
7. I stay in this place for about 45-1 hour.

Now, there's times where I will be spending 2 hours with God. I don't track the time much because I work from home but I wanted you to see a quick example of my prayer life.

When we pray to God, come expecting, come weary, come sad, come depressed, come joyful, come thankful, come mad, come however.

I love James 4:8, it says "Come near to God and He will come near to you."

Sounds to me like you have a part to play in coming near to Him. We come "near" to what we desire. What are you desiring? Porn? Sex outside of marriage? Discontentment and complaining? You're coming near to something. If you feel far from God, someone moved and it wasn't Him. Sin separates us from Him. Rebellion makes us feel far from God. Choosing our own way and ignoring His hardens our heart against God.

Above, I mentioned going to God joyful. At times, we may not run to His feet when things are going great but I want you to remember that He wants to celebrate the good times with you - not JUST the bad times. What kind of relationship is it if we only run to Jesus when things are hard? For example, have you ever been used by a friend? The ONLY time they come to you is when they "need or want something." Although God is our FATHER, He also wants a relationship with us beyond our emergencies. He loves you. He wants intimacy with you. He wants to be close to you. He wants you to run to Him in every way possible.

Few Things:

1. The 2017 Pinky Promise Conference was EVERYTHING!!! Like literally. Here's the night I taught on "Running From God." Registration is open NOW! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

2. Ah, I'm SO excited that the Pinky Promise Movement page has a new look! Check it out HERE. 

3. ALSO, the Pinky Promise Boutique has a new look too PLUS a ton of cute MODEST, FAB, CLOTHES, jewelry, promise rings, clothes, journals, etc! Check it out HERE.

4. Be sure to check my calendar to see if I'm in your city soon! (under Calendar)

5. Are you in Atlanta? Come and visit our church! We are in Sandy Springs! The Gathering Oasis Church - we meet at the Galloway Private School in the Amphitheatre. 215 W Wieuca Rd NW Atlanta, GA 30327 every Sunday at 10AM EST.

5. My New Book, Silent Seasons was on the Amazon Best Seller's List as the #1 in New Releases and in Religious for 5 weeks! ahh!! Find it HERE.  or on Amazon/Kindle/Ibooks/Audio Book.

6. We are headed to Lagos, Nigeria the first week of February! If you're near the area - join me! It's FREE! Register here: www.ignitegla.org

7. Oh yeah, we started a BRAND NEW VLOGGING CHANNEL! Be sure to subscribe + check out the newest surprise in our sweet family! Subscribe HERE.

God loves you like crazy,
Love always,
Heather Lindsey

Baby Lindsey #3 is on the way in July 2018!!



17 comments:

  1. Thank you Heather, this is very timely for me.

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  2. Thank you for obeying God!!! I needed this blog!!!

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  3. God bless you Heather, so I stepped out today to buy a book i have been looking for but I ended up buying a Journal instead. Since the journal challenge started I am able to relate with Jesus like a bride with her groom and it has been a wonderful experience. He is teaching me a whole lot especially what love really is and I just want to write everything. I thank God for your life heather, you have indeed been a blessing and I'm soooo excited that you will be in Lagos in February. I will see you there!... Love you plenty.

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  4. This is cool and I will put it into practice. I struggle with fear. Most times I am unable to verbalize to God my deepest fears because they are based off of past experiences.

    You are blessed that you can work from home and thus are able to spend a substantial amount of time in your quiet time with God.

    I work Monday-Friday and my mornings go like this. I go to sleep after 12 midnight because I believe in midnight spiritual warfare. I wake up around 3am from a terrible dream I spend time cancelling this terrible dream. At times I wake up an hour later with another terrible dream. After all this I usually wake up JUST in time to get ready for work. And even with that there are more terrible dreams that require attention.

    I guess all this is just an excuse and I have to make time to have fellowship with the trinity. Le sigh.

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    1. Hey love! I actually used to work 80 hours a week. I only had time to grab food and I never sat down and ate. I would wake up and pray and spend time with God for an hour. When i got home from work at midnight, I would run to my tiny shared studio bathroom and spend time with God too. Although I work for myself now, for 7 years, I worked in corporate America and I went to grad school at night. So, no more excuses! You got this! God will help you! Hugs!

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  5. Thank you for this encouraging post on prayer. I discovered your blog when I rededicated my life to Christ four years ago and wanted to know how to study the Bible. It’s amazing that I still find myself on here now gaining Godly wisdom and guidance. Thank you for your obedience to the call God has on your life. You are helping so many people to have a deeper and more intimate relationship with Christ. God Bless you Heather, I appreciate everything you do for the kingdom.

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  6. Thank you Heather. God Bless you abundantly

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  7. Thank you Heather. God Bless you abundantly

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  8. In my prayer closet is the only time i don't feel afraid!

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  9. thank you ❤️❤️❤️ so needed.

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  10. Thank you for this. Some changes at work have me shaken, reminding me of the job I left. I'm a leader in the job and I'm against the change the most. Its one of those things where we were given an option that's not really an option. Anyway, I needed this. I'm filled with fear again, in an area I thought I was delivered from. I needed to go before God

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  11. I love this! It definitely encourages me right where I’m at! Love you and bless you Heather!

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  12. Thank you so much Heather. May God help us to put this in practise. Amen

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  13. Omg! Thank you so much for this. I've always felt inadequate when it comes to prayer. Like I'm not saying the right thing or what I'm saying doesn't sound good or is not enough. This just really blessed my heart. I guess I just need to stop doubting myself and stop trying to say the right thing. What is the right thing to say anyway?. Perfection is the devil, and I've always struggled with it. This is my challenge for this year. Stop trying to be perfect.

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  14. Thank you so much for this Heather, I missed you last year when you came to Lagos. Definitely can't wait to meet you this year. Thanks for these powerful insights on prayer and journaling..God bless.

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