Saturday, May 4, 2013

"The Perfect Woman"

Ever found yourself trying to fit into some image of this woman you want to be? You have examples all around you of your idea of what you think is a "perfect" woman. So, you attempt to do all of these things like cook, clean, start a business God didn't tell you to start, work crazy hours at a job you have no peace about just to find value, go to school (knowing good & well God never told you to go), charge up your credit cards, get your hair done, work out or whatever else... and you put all this pressure on yourself to be this "woman." Guess what?

She doesn't exist. 

Let me encourage you sis-- putting all this pressure on yourself to be some person that God didn't call you to be will only distract and clutter your heart. Then, you won't even be able to hear God's voice because you're so busy trying to be an image instead of accepting that you're MADE in His image. Do I think EFFORT is a good thing to do your hair, work out, etc-- of course- but it's WRONG when those things are before God. How can those above things replace God? When you've made them idols and you've stopped seeking Christ & now you're seeking degrees, money, a man or whatever else. Did you know that people are in hell for love? They loved the wrong things and people and replaced GOD with those things they loved. They loved money. They loved power. They loved being "popular." They loved keeping a man in their bed. They loved porn. They loved to drink. They love to smoke. They loved rebellion. I ask you sis, what do you love? What are you "loving" as you try to achieve your idea of being a "perfect woman?" What is in your heart? WHO are you when nobody else is looking? Underneath the makeup, smile, and body... who are you all alone? Ask God to wreck & change your heart. And CONTINUE to ask Him to do this because this walk with God is not a sprint but a DAILY journey of living for Him.

 Being perfect is impossible because we live in a fallen world. Trying to be perfect is going to stress you out because you're trying to achieve something that only Christ did. I always say, "I ain't perfect but I'm connected to the One who is & His strength is perfected in my weakness."
I want to encourage you to take all of who you are and lay it at the feet of Jesus. Take your hurts, pains, issues, lipstick, handbags, image, job, boyfriend, your marriage and whatever else and lay it at the Father's feet. Is He pleased with it all? Or have you replaced those "things" with Him? We cannot afford to switch all hard around here in direct disobedience to God. It just isn't WORTH it. 

While trying to be the perfect woman, you may find yourself sweeping your past hurts underneath the rug. As you sweep them under the rug and throw a smile on your face-- you've fooled everyone but what you don't realize is that that hurt is seeping out onto your face in the form of stress. It's seeping out in your words. It's seeping out in your relationships. You begin to charge everyone for what your past did to you. You must LET GO of whoever hurt you. You must stop trying to carry this mantle when Christ died so you could finally rest in HIM. 

Matthew 11:29 ESV 
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-30 ESV
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Exodus 33:14 ESV 
And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.

It's amazing to me that as we read throughout the bible-- we find that Jesus is pleading for us to rest in  Him. Then, we go and get this 5 year plan that we put together in our wicked heart that Christ had NOTHING to do with and slap it on the wall & throw a few scriptures on it and call it God. When did we get so busy? When did we replace His precious Spirit with the "make it happen independent attitude?!" Some of us are pursuing goals and dreams and we have gotten all dressed up and Jesus is our accessory.  We sure look good in our disobedience. But our heart is a wreck & it's so far from Christ. I fear God. I fear standing before Him one day & He say this: "On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity"- Matthew 7:22-23. That scripture scares me.  I don't want to ever think that I've figured life out. I don't want to ever long for this world more than I long for Christ. I don't ever want to get so caught up in myself that I do all these "Jesus" things but my heart is so far from Christ.  I'm "busy" about just doing things that look good but Christ didn't tell me to do any of them. Just thinking of this HUMBLES me daily. You may think-- it doesn't take all this Heather-- you're too hard on yourself. No, I reverence and fear God. It DOES take all of that because you have the world that is pumping it's ways into your head 24-7 and if you aren't sitting before the Father-- at His feet, you can easily get caught up in this world. So, where is your heart... "perfect woman?" You cannot take your red bottoms, weave, cooking and job to heaven. Let's start seeking the One we cannot see & develop in the fruit of the Spirit (love, peace, joy, patience, self control.)

How do you do this?

Ask God to help you daily. Be content with your today. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Ask Him to help you to recognize when you're being tested so you can pass the test. Ask God to show you where you're wasting your time in life. Join a church or a Pinky Promise group for accountability. Stop beating yourself down from your past sin & turn from it and repent. PRIORITIZE- God first, then your husband, children, then ministry & your job. The bible calls a "perfect" or "ideal" woman one with CHARACTER & doesn't even mention her beauty (according to Proverbs 31.) Win people over with your QUIET & GENTLE spirit-- not your looks. (1 Peter 3:4) In Jeremiah 1:5 it says that our lives our pre-planned & organized so clearly-- there's a PATH laid out for you. Are you seeking Christ as HE leads you or are you leading YOURSELF & asking God to join you?

Few things:
1. So sorry that I haven't been blogging! Part of the joys of being a new mommy! Thanks for your patience as I balance life! ;-)

2. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

3. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store. JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 
(Newborn shoot! Logan is 4 weeks here!)


  1. Wow! Just what I needed to read. Jesus be the cornerstone of my life!!

  2. wow wow wow simply amazing surely opened my eyes

  3. Wow! You are truly annointed and a blessing to many! May God continue to rain down on you!

  4. I kinda understand. As a single mom of a two year old, working a job Im miserable at just because it pays the bills, and going to school part time Is very overwhelming at times. But it seem like what I need to do to make a future for my child. And of course I want to look good so that one day my husband will find me and like what he see. So is what im doing wrong or am I making good decisions? PLEASE HELP ME HEATHER!

  5. So glad that you wrote about this, right after I was saved, I was so satisfied with God,I didn't care bout no one else. Then I began dating my ex, I replaced my quite time with God with chatting to my ex. When I broke up with him, I realised that I was so miserable cause I tried to fill the space in my life and heart created for God alone with an idol. I pray that other young women place nothing above God, cause they'll be left so empty. Only he can satisfy.

  6. Wow this has opened my eyes God knows i nedded this!

  7. This really blessed me, just recently it was revealed to me that I had made an idol of my future and I have been praying over this obsession that I have. Praise God for this confirmation of my self-righteousness. This was refreshing Heather, God bless you sis!

  8. Thanks for such a timely message

  9. It reminds me of this scripture
    Jeremiah 2:13 The Message (MSG)
    12-13 “Stand in shock, heavens, at what you see!
    Throw up your hands in disbelief—this can’t be!”
    God’s Decree.
    “My people have committed a compound sin:
    they’ve walked out on me, the fountain
    Of fresh flowing waters, and then dug cisterns—
    cisterns that leak, cisterns that are no better than sieves.

    Thank you Heather, to God be the glory.

  10. You are such a great role model heather thank God 4 you!

  11. Thanks for always sharing messages of edification that it full of love and is true.

    God constantly lets me how much he loves me. If I will just rest in His love and stop burdening myself and just trust him completely. Forget the past and press toward the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Today, this hymn below was my reminder to remain focus, always looking to him for direction.

    Yield not to temptation, for yielding is sin;
    Each vict’ry will help you some other to win;
    Fight manfully onward, dark passions subdue;
    Look ever to Jesus, He’ll carry you through.

    Ask the Savior to help you,
    Comfort, strengthen, and keep you;
    He is willing to aid you,
    He will carry you through.

    Shun evil companions, bad language disdain,
    God’s name hold in rev’rence, nor take it in vain;
    Be thoughtful and earnest, kindhearted and true;
    Look ever to Jesus, He’ll carry you through.

    To him that o’ercometh, God giveth a crown,
    Through faith we will conquer, though often cast down;
    He who is our Savior, our strength will renew;
    Look ever to Jesus, He’ll carry you through.

  12. As usual, right on time and right on point, Heather!

  13. what a timely message

  14. I had the worst day today, tried to place someone in my life whom wasnt ready and didnt deserve to be in. Came home so broken and I just called to the Lord. I knew I had to get on your blog I didnt know what to read (normally look for titled blogs that concern my situation) and saw Perfect Woman; I've skipped it a few times but today read it. Every word of it explains what Im going through. Thank you so much, now I know where to be and my heart isnt filled with the sorrow that it had earlier on

  15. Hi Heather!
    Thanx so much for this great message! Got to know about your blog through African Sweetheart Blog, and I must say you are really GOD's. Vessel! Thanx for opening our eyes more to what really matters in our walk with GOD! Women like you inspire me to want more and more of GOD! I pray GOD continue to use you for HIS good works and to HIS Glory! Would really love to be part of a pinky promise club but Dunno if there's any in Nigeria, I haven't heared of any!
    I love your pics of u and Logan, + Logan is so cute! I tap in to your blessings! (Not yet married tho as am stil and undergraduate). But I trust GOD it'l happen sometime in the future! (@ His own right and Best time for HIS purpose!). Remain Blessed in Christ Jesus!
    With Love,
    Bukola (Nigeria).

  16. I can relate to this so much. I have literally been overwhelmed with duty and commitment and at the end of this year was brought to the realization that a lot of it was taken on in an effort to numb the pain that I was feeling, and "work" my way to pleasing God. Now, mostly just feeling the need to fully connect and rest in Christ. I had so many things happening at once and not many of them bearing adequate fruit. So this year I have vowed to limit and purge my activities, join a support group and begin to just allow myself to learn and grow. Starting the day of with prayer and study helps, and I plan to continue to dig deeper. Thank you for this confirmation.


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