Friday, March 22, 2013
"When I No Longer Desire God"
Ever felt like.. you knew that you were supposed to spend time with God, read your bible, pray & do all these "things" and you had the right intentions in doing so.. but as you went about your day, it didn't happen. You thought about it. You felt conviction. You felt God's spirit tugging on you; but you never sat down & just experienced His presence. Then, as the day went to a close and you sat down to watch your favorite show, you said- "It's ok, God loves me and I'll just do better tomorrow." This cycle continues for weeks and it turns into months. You begin to see yourself change from a sweet and patient person to a irritated and impatient woman. You start to gossip a little more, watch a few more shows that you wouldn't usually watch, listen to a little Beyonce (and please, let's stop defending her like she's God. The bible says a tree is identified by their FRUIT.), curse a little there-- you know, your standards begin to adjust. Your guards have been dropped and you are calling yourself a Christian but you cannot figure out why you're miserable. Guess what?
You no longer desire God.
You see, you desire the music, the shows, the TV, the little boyfriend rubbing on your thigh, the silly unhealthy friendships, the lying, the gossip. You desire those things. You may say that you don't desire them but the way you prioritize your day shows me what is important to you. It shows me where you place your value. It shows me what you're thinking about it. It shows me and .. let's replace "me" with "God" where your HEART is.. you think it's in Him but it's not. Just because you have good intentions doesn't mean anything until you start taking those good intentions & doing something different.
Let's look at it like this: You're married and throughout the day, you talk to your husband, text him, make plans for the future, go on date nights- you are very intentional about developing and desiring Him. You WANT your husband because you continue to water & nourish that tree. Why is it that we enter into a relationship with Christ & we don't talk to Him, don't spend time with Him, aren't intentional but then we wonder why we don't desire a "deeper" relationship with Him? What also begins to happen is even if your ignorance, the Holy Spirit begins to tug at you to REMIND you to spend time with God and show you your empty voids. You will either adjust and make time for God or, you'll go & seek things to fulfill that void in your heart. You may go have sex, text some guy you know is a hot mess, go back into your past because it appeared more comfortable (it lied), go shopping (you know) and seek fulfillment in something to cover up that hole.
I can save you time, energy, heartache & hurt by reminding you that you'll never be satisfied until you get back to that place of being intentional & seeking Christ daily. You can run to try to find you another "mentor", preacher or whoever else to make you feel better about yourself and spoon-fed you OR you can start to woman-up and be the woman that God called you to be and go get on your FACE before God. It's time out for this foolishness sisters!! We have GOT to do better. How can we continue to exchange God's magnificent presence for the presence of some man that doesn't care about you or some job that you're not even supposed to be at? We have GOT to get back to this place of sitting at the feet of JESUS. It's great that you have your accountability sisters and that you remind each other to spend time with God but let's get to a place where we don't have to be reminded anymore. What if I had to remind you to spend time with your husband? Most likely 1. Your husband would get upset that he wasn't a priority 2. And wonder why the heck do you have to be reminded by another woman to spend time with him. Why is it that we get saved & have to constantly be reminded to spend time with God as if it's a burden? You don't have to be constantly reminded to spend time with someone you LOVE & is FIRST. The answer to the clear question is: You no longer desire God. And let me be clear, there's nothing wrong with accountability but at some point, we must move from "have to spend time with God" to "I get to spend time with God."
I just gave birth to our son, Logan William Lindsey on 3/13/13 (praise God! ;-) And I learned VERY quickly that the sleepless nights & "sleeping" when he is sleeping is crucial. I also found that even in these past few days, I hadn't been spending as much time as I used to spend with God even just days ago. It convicted me. I said.. Lord, I am spending time with the one that is most important to me. Don't ever let me make an idol of my son, even in my lack of sleep & exhaustion. God, help me to want you more than anything or anyone else.
So, what has come into your life and replaced God? I could have very well made my son an idol by giving him my attention 24-7 and made an excuse about my son being a newborn or whatever else. I cannot afford to make that choice, no matter how "sleepy" I am. Reminds me of Matthew 10:37 "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." This is referring to family but we could very well replace father or mother with job, money, a boyfriend, a husband or whatever else. I'm sure Matthew used this reference because these people are usually the ones closest to you. It is BECAUSE of my SON I NEED to spend time with God. It's BECAUSE of my job I NEED to spend time with God. You see, I cannot properly FUNCTION in these roles as a wife, mother, business owner, friend or whatever else if life isn't in PROPER order with CHRIST first.
Hebrews 5:12 says it nicely: "In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!" -- You're going to church, been saved for a bit, joined a Pinky Promise group-- it's TIME TO GROW! Just "doing" these things doesn't mean anything. The question is: When the rubber meets the road & you have a choice to choose GOD vs. something else.. what do you choose?
God pressed it heavy on my heart that people also don't desire Him because life HURTS them and they BLAME Him. We cannot turn our hearts away from the only One that can help us. If life has hit you hard, know that God is close to those that have a broken heart (psalms 34:18) & He is READY to take you back into His arms. STOP running from HIM. HE will use everything that you've been through to bring Him glory. So ask Him to break your hardened heart. Forgive whoever has hurt you. Stop looking at your hurt & start looking at CHRIST.
In short, when you don't desire God.. it's because He is no longer the object of your affection. Want to desire God? Get back to the heart of worship. Get back to that place where you craved Him when you first got saved. Get back to that place of worship. Get RID of anything or anyone that is hindering you. THEN, stay there. Renew your mind. Turn off garbage. Ask God to wreck you daily. This walk isn't a 100 meter sprint.. it's a marathon, so if you expect microwave results, you won't find them in Christianity. You must stay in that place of worship and trusting God no matter what is going on in your life. Let's all make a commitment to get back to this place of worship, starting now.
1. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.
2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts: www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com
3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 11,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com
4. To purchase cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: LOGAN. -- (how fitting!)
P.S. If you've asked me questions on here-- know that I'm not ignoring you! I get THOUSANDS of emails & questions and it's super hard to get to each one. Thanks for your patience during this busy time!
Love you all madly,