Lonely days are no fun. We all have them. Whether married, single, or divorced, you will have some lonely days. But it seems that some people have more lonely days than others. It seems that those with higher callings on their lives are usually people that struggle with loneliness. It's almost like God sets you apart or calls you out of unfruitful past friendships and relationships, and then keeps you alone to Himself for a short period to work things out of you. Many of us were so dependent on a man or woman in our lives that we totally ignored God and couldn't connect with him like we needed to for our callings sake. So what did God do? Take everyone away from us for a season, so we can be with him alone.
But where does the loneliness come from?
Loneliness usually comes when you have developed a need for others. I know many will agree with this, because when you have spent your life living for others, depending on people to validate you, make you feel better about you, chasing friends and friendships, always needing people around to make you feel wanted or needed, then when you are suddenly alone, you feel very lonely. But if you suffer with any of these issues, loneliness is what you need! Not forever, but at least for a season. You see, JESUS wants to be that friend you are searching for. Don't you know that God put a need for himself in your life? Your purpose lies in him, so you must know him to know YOU! Your reason for being lies in him, so you must know him to know why YOU are YOU! And when you spend your life chasing friends or using people to find yourself, all you end up doing is having a bunch of one sided relationships, or failed relationships because you are searching for answers in the wrong places. And loneliness becomes a thorn to you even though being alone can be GOOD for you. When I was single, I realized that everytime I felt the pressure of loneliness, it was GOD calling me closer to Him. I would never trade those years of being a single woman where I poured out to God for hours. It was such a stretching period for me as God removed all of those things I placed my comfort in.
Loneliness usually comes when you have developed a need for others. I know many will agree with this, because when you have spent your life living for others, depending on people to validate you, make you feel better about you, chasing friends and friendships, always needing people around to make you feel wanted or needed, then when you are suddenly alone, you feel very lonely. But if you suffer with any of these issues, loneliness is what you need! Not forever, but at least for a season. You see, JESUS wants to be that friend you are searching for. Don't you know that God put a need for himself in your life? Your purpose lies in him, so you must know him to know YOU! Your reason for being lies in him, so you must know him to know why YOU are YOU! And when you spend your life chasing friends or using people to find yourself, all you end up doing is having a bunch of one sided relationships, or failed relationships because you are searching for answers in the wrong places. And loneliness becomes a thorn to you even though being alone can be GOOD for you. When I was single, I realized that everytime I felt the pressure of loneliness, it was GOD calling me closer to Him. I would never trade those years of being a single woman where I poured out to God for hours. It was such a stretching period for me as God removed all of those things I placed my comfort in.
Don't RUN from this season. Embrace it. Draw from Christ's strength and learn how to fellowship with HIM. YOU will need this foundation later in life.
Jesus says that He is your friend and He will not leave you comfortless. Read John chapter 14 and 15 and you will see that his love & concern is you. He wants you to be His friend and find yourself in Him! So the next time you are feeling lonely or all alone, rejoice because He is working the false friendships and relationships out of you and working on His relationship with you.
God loves you like crazy. Trust Him.
Love always,
Heather
I often time feel lonely. And it's not even that I rely on friends. I'm in college and I feel like I don't fit in with anybody. Simply because so many of the students are so focused on themselves and don't even really put God first. So while their pursuing these Greek organizations to validate them or to become popular, I'm sitting in my dorm room lonely trying to understand what my calling is. Sometimes being a young, serious Christain can be hard when everyone else is doing their own thing.
ReplyDeleteI understand Ej! I have totally been there. I have spent days at home on Friday nights because I didn't go out to clubs. Remember that you are NEVER alone, even if it feels like it. The Holy Spirit is always with you & He promises to never leave us. Learn to enjoy that time! Write, blog, study, grab a couple christian friends and catch a movie or start a bible study! Remember that God is setting you apart for a reason, you cannot afford to hang out with everybody! Enjoy this temporary season & learn Christ like never before! Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a great and ON TIME post! I am currently going through a "lonely" period, and this isn't the first time. I know that God has called me to do great things, yet I'm not surrounding myself with the people/things that will help me to grow. I recognize it, and although I feel lonely at times, I truly love that I am growing in my relationship with God and I am loving the time I'm spending with Him. I've recently decided to make MAJOR changes in my life and other than my mom and stepdad (who are ministers), I don't have any friends who relate to what I am trying to do or who understand. It seems everyone wants to be a Christina with one foot in the church and the other out in the world. I'm tired of straddling the fence and want to do things God's way, ALL the way. I'm happy and excited about my recent decisions, but it isn't easy with all that is going on around me. I truly appreciate you for writing this post and for allowing God to use YOU. It's encouraging to know people like yourself do in fact exist :)
ReplyDeleteWOW...Glory to God. You just don't know how much this post just blessed me. This past year has been dedicated to Jesus taking me from around others whom I thought were there for me as well as transforming me in general. In this "wilderness" season as I call it, my relationship although I still have some work to do, has been the best ever and I know that couldn't have happened if I was in the relationships I was in and doing the things I was doing. His way is definitely the best way. Although we may not see it at first, God will give you the wisdom you need to understand and the strength and courage to act upon it. When I pray I often say "Thank you Jesus for taking away my everything so you could be my everything." He has truly been my everything from mother/father, protector, provider, comforter, friend, man...he is actually who he says he is and I wouldn't trade it for the World. Thank you again for this post.
ReplyDeleteThank you both for sharing your stories. I want you to know that I'm praying with you and agreeing with you that you'll continue to trust God in the midst of this season. He's with you, He loves you & He will NEVER leave you. God bless you both.
ReplyDeleteWow.. this post jut blessed me alot.
ReplyDeletebecause I feel as though I am in that season right now and may be for a little while. and although I have been drawing close to God likee never before this comes as good confirmation that my feelings of loneliness are just God telling me Im not done with you yet.. and that the feeling of loneliness isn't necessarily "wrong". I always felt bad about feeling it, like GOd isn't enough but this just showed me, He's still molding and building me up.
wow this was truly amazing =) helped a lot!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting this blog. I have been going through this season from everyone that I had are not here with me, and i realized God took them out for a reason because I spend my time with him daily! thank you!
ReplyDeleteI just moved, from a house with my parents, two siblings snd a niece into an apartment by myself and I felt so alone the first couple of nights, but then it dawned on my, I can now spend time with God uninterrupted. In the past couple of weeks I have grown closer to God while at the same time being tempted by randoms from the past. At first I thought it was ironic how they started calling again but then it dawned on me, that it was a test because I now lived alone. That is why we cannot be ignorant to the devils devices he is a sneaky fox! We are never alone because God is with us!
ReplyDeleteI too have been going through a lonely season. I have felt the pull of being set apart while God prunes me for a season. I dealt with people pleasing and pursuing friendships out of a need to be validated. Lately I have found myself wondering if I have turned into a boring person! I have always had a lot of friends and even since giving my life to the Lord, I have had many Christian friends, but this year it's as if the Lord has pulled them away, or pulled me away. It's a very hard season because everywhere I look I see women with many friends, or best friends....and I have none. This post (even though I realize it's an older one) was what I came here looking for. Thank you for your obedience in allowing the Lord to speak through you. It's been an awakening for me.
ReplyDeleteOut of all of your blogs(although the others have been a great help to me as well) I find myself running back to this one the most. I've been getting tested like crazy by all these RANDOMS and after doing some blocking and deletimg the feeling of loneliness really came over me. The thought of not having any friends, having nothing to do(besides spending time with God), or no where to go makes me really emotional. God just recently confirmed again what He has called me to do so I know it's no coincidence that I'm feeling like this(lonely) and I'm getting tested in many areas like crazy...I just thank you for the reminder it's been a big help to me! God bless you Heather..and Mr. Lindsey!! Looking forward to BBL and your book :)
ReplyDeleteTonite a feeling of loneliness came over me. I started to cry, i feel so all alone and unloved. I know this is not good for me, i searched for loniless prayers etc and then i remember your blogs, Heather. I went through them searching because im sure you must have something to readon loneliness. I found it, thanks. This was exactly what i needed.... Now i can come back to this whenever i feel this way.
ReplyDeleteI needed to read this, I'm always so dependent on other people I chase friends who never bother to check up on me, I spend countless hours on social networks, struggle to maintain friendships with people who don't really care. This post opened my eyes wide and made me see things in a different light thanks Heather God bless you
ReplyDeleteEven though this blog was written in 2011, it touches me as if it was written today. I'm a college student and I'm struggling with loneliness. I'm not yet saved, but I'm working on my relationship with God. I feel Him drawing me closer to Him, and I also feel Him removing those who don't serve a real purpose. I've placed my value in men, friendships, and even trying to join a sorority. Now my life is very still, and I'm learning to seek the good in that.
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