"Modesty Rebirth: What Should I Wear Today?"

Can I be honest? I used to love my short shorts and mini-skirts. I have naturally muscular legs so I figured, I got it, why can't I show it? I mean, it isnt' hurting anyone.

Until.. I met my husband. 

I recall flying into Atlanta and wearing this long maxi dress. The dress length wasn't the issue, the issue was the v-cut top portion that showed a little bit of cleavage. I don't have a huge chest, so I rationalized that I don't really have cleavage as an average B cup woman. He said to me, "Heather, do you have a jacket or a tank-top that you can put on? It's important to me that my girlfriend is classy and keeping things covered." So, reluctantly, I put a tank-top on and thought to myself, "gosh, this tank top totally ruined my outfit" but then.. 

God checked my own heart. 

He said to me, "Do you want attention from Me or do you want attention from men & to be a stumbling block for men?" 

Wait, I don't want to be a stumbling block for anyone Lord! I don't want MY way of dressing to encourage sin in a man's heart! Not only that, I KNEW Cornelius was going to be my one-day husband  and I knew that I needed to listen to him. I was beginning to practice submission as the Lord led me so, this was a challenge. 

As I started dressing more classy, my heart used to break at old photos of myself. Then, I would see women out & about and I would want to run up to them & say, GIRL! You are beautiful! You don't have to sell yourself short  show your goodies! This wasn't me saying, "oh, I'm so much better than anyone" But it's saying, "honey, I've been there. YOU are so precious to Jesus. You're such a jewel. WHY are your ta's ta's out? That isn't your body to show off, you're simply a manager of your body. It belongs to the Lord.  What you show is what men think you will share! Godly men want a godly woman! I remember that I used to dress that way to get attention from men. I did it because I was insecure and I didn't feel good about myself. I did it because I had no conviction. I did it because even if God tried to convict me or if an older woman corrected me, my rebellious heart rejected any leading. And in the world of social media & pictures, what are you showing? If a godly man wanted to go online & check you out, would he pass you by because you're half naked in all of your photos? 

So now, I like to run my clothes by my husband prior to leaving the house. I only want to look good for him and please him and most times, if my dress is too short, I'm convicted before I even open my mouth to ask him.  We actually BOTH show one another our outfits & help each other get dressed daily. It's not like he has this stick & he's yelling at me to dress a certain way. We WANT to please each other & we find pleasure in it. The great thing about my hubby is that when we are on vacation once or twice a year, he's much more relaxed about me wearing dresses a couple inches above my knee vs. at my knee. But that is MY husband & its what he likes. If you're rolling your eyes at me, I want to encourage you to check out my blog on submission. I believe in the headship that God set in place and I LOVE the protection. 

To bring balance to this, I once heard of a woman that said that "women cannot wear pants or wear short-sleeved shirts." Let's be clear: Modesty isn't you dressing like a nun. The obedience of a child of God is not measured by what clothing we wear but by our walk in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:16). Thus, if you are LED by the Spirit of GOD, you will naturally cover up that tail. If you're led by your flesh, insecurities and whatever else. you will be by your own desires. 

I know that some really conservative people may read this & say, "WOMEN AREN'T SUPPOSED TO WEAR PANTS! There is a passage in the Old Testament that speaks about a woman wearing men's clothing: "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this" (Deuteronomy 22:5). Remember in studying the scriptures, we must look at the context of the scripture. The context of this scripture is the second giving of the law to the nation of Israel as they were preparing to enter the Promised Land. Deuteronomy 22:5 is an admonition not to live as a transvestite. This has to do with more than just clothing; it also speaks of a life that mimics in every way those of the opposite sex. Transvestitism was a practice of the Canaanites, and Israel was to consider it an abomination. We take a principle from this and apply it to our lives as believers, but we must use it in the context in which it is given. SO many Christians are skipping around here, applying scriptures out of context and BASHING everyone else that doesn't agree with their convictions. Honey, if that is your conviction, rock with it. My conviction is not eating meat. I share the benefits of a healthy digestive system but I'm not about to stuff it down your throat & tell you that you're so wrong. If it's CLEAR in scripture, like submit to your husband, no sex outside of marriage, forgive, etc-- I get it. But, some areas-- it's vital that you're led by the Spirit of God. THIS is where a relationship with Him comes into play. 

One of my favorite disciples, Paul wrote on the difference between the law and grace in Romans. We are not justified by our adherence to the law, but we are justified by faith in Christ (Romans 3:21-28). The believer in Christ Jesus is "dead" to the constraints of the law. "But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code" (Romans 7:6). Therefore, a believer does not live by legalism, nor by license, but rather by grace.

What has that to do with a believing woman wearing pants? There is no biblical law that says what a woman should wear or not wear. Rather, the issue is one of modesty.

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God" (1 Timothy 2:9-10). 

I did a bit of research about the greek breakdown of that scripture:

The Greek word translated "modest" is the Greek word kosmios, which is translated twice in the New Testament, once as "modest" in this passage and once as "of good behavior" in 1 Timothy 3:1. It came to mean "well-arranged, seemly, and modest."The word clothes is the Greek word katastole. The meaning of the word was "to send or to let down or lower." 

It was primarily a garment that was let down and in that day referred to a stole or a loose outer garment worn by kings and persons of rank. Since we know that Paul was not speaking to people of rank, the context here is simply modest attire, and it does not specify what that means. 

Paul talked about this issue here because the women in the church were trying to outdo each other in how they dressed, and the flashier the better. They were losing sight of the things that should focus on as a godly woman—humility, sobriety, godliness, and good works. The words "dress modestly" are not used here in the context of specific garments, but rather to being modest in what they wear. It should not be used to prove as some law against wearing pants (also see 1 Peter 3:3-4).

So, the FOCUS is that a woman should wear modest clothing. Whether or not that includes a pair of slacks should be a matter for the woman's own conscience before the LORD. If a woman allows her outward appearance to be the measure of her inward relationship with Christ, she is living under the constraints of the law. Born-again women are free in Christ to wear whatever modest apparel they choose, and the only judgment they should be under is that of their own conscience. "Everything that does not come from faith is sin" (Romans 14:23). We are not to allow our consciences to be dictated to by legalism and the consciences of others, but by our own relationship with Christ. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20). God will take care of the outward woman if we walk in obedience in the inward woman. So, what good is it for you to wear your long skirts but you are mean? What good is it to wear your long sleeved shirts if you are unforgiving? God is searching your heart sis. 

So, now that we cleared that up, let's talk about some practice tips of dressing modest & being fabulous. 

1. Figure out what clothes WORK for YOUR body. My "problem" area has ALWAYS been my lower abs! It's NOT as ripped as I would like for it to be! No matter how much I work out, I always end up with a 4 pack & not a six pack. Nonetheless, I don't like to wear dresses and shirts that are super tight in that area. So, I have found that peplum tops and dresses that are fitted & then "poof" out work best for me! Could I wear tighter shirts? Yes! But even so, I am most comfortable in the above!

**In the picture to the right, you would be surprised to find out that my green top & my best friend, Delan's pant suit is from Forever 21! My jeans are Seven Jeans & my shoes are Giuseppe Zanotti.

2. Where do I shop? EVERYWHERE! I don't discriminate from Thrift stores, to Target, to Saks, To Bloomingdales to wherever. If I can be totally honest, I like to buy things of good quality. I would rather buy a purse that will last me 30 years versus buying a purse every year because it falls apart. If you do the math, you actually save money buying the quality items. Not only that, if you ever needed to sell that item, you would STILL be able to get your money back years and years later. I once bought a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes at a thrift store for $100. I was able to sell them on Ebay for $300 because I knew of someone who had a need. I wore those shoes for a couple years as well! That is one of the joys of buying quality items.

3. Some of my favorite places to shop outside of the normal stores:

• Asos (www.asos.com) They have amazing midi-dresses and skirts!
• ModCloth (www.modcloth.com) think vintage, fabulous!
• Ebay (www.ebay.com) I'm HUGE on finding brands for cheap online! Why pay full price when you can find the same quality at a bargain?
• Amazon (www.amazon.com) I LOVE being a Prime member. You pay a annual fee to get 2-day shipping. This comes in handy when I need items for Logan or for myself last minute. 
• Outlet Shopping: I LOVE outlet shopping! You can find last years goodies for super cheap!
• Goodwill! (www.shopgoodwill.com) Did you know that you can bid on goodies from ebay for super cheap? Another awesome way to find bargains.
• MY boutique! (www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com) I do have some clothes on there + some amazing accessories! 
• Choies (www.choies.com) has fabulous skirts like my skirts above! They are midi length! Note that some items are 1 size fits all so be sure to check the sizes prior to ordering! 

4. Practice makes perfect. When I was single, I would have a rough day, or want to go shopping but knew I was on a budget so I would try on clothes & come up with outfits when I had down time. Playing dress up for me was therapeutic because I was able to actually SEE the stuff in my closet. At times, we just shop and then throw more items into our closet. If you take the time to organize it and actually see what is in your closet, I doubt you would buy as much more. 

5. Ask a friend to help you! If you have a friend that LOVES style, clothes and putting outfits together, ask her to help you out! 

6. BONUS: I LOVE boutiques! They have one-of-a-piece items that are affordable!

I pray that this gave you clarity on being modest! I posted some photos of modest outfits that I've worn recently! If you have a desire to dress more modestly, I believe that the Lord will help you & give you wisdom.

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com.

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 21,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 

"What About Me?"

Ever wondered, "What About Me" God? It seems like you are working your butt off at school, work, doing the right thing in relationships, but you still end up getting the short end of the stick? Maybe you do all of the work and your co-worker gets promoted. Maybe, you are living for Jesus but you don't feel like your prayers are getting answered. Maybe, you're getting sick & tired of living for Jesus because you don't see any results.

Can I illustrate something for you? I want you to go & get a cup and fill it with dirt. Then, go and plant a basil seed in the cup, water it and place it next to the window. Then, walk by the cup every single day and see if you see basil. Weeks may go by & you still may not see anything. Do you get mad at the plant and stop watering it? Do you take the cup and throw it away because you feel like the seed isn't producing? 

Well, that is what most of you are doing with your life. You kick and scream at the cup, throw it down, smash it and you stop watering the seed that is in your heart.  You stop reading the bible, you start watching more garbage TV, you start hangin' out with that man because you're bored, you start hanging with rebellious, messy women and you open back up that pornography. I mean, a little won't hurt, right? You never give the GOOD seeds that are planted in your heart TIME to grow. 

I'm reminded of: 

Psalm 1

Oh, the joys of those who do not

    follow the advice of the wicked,

    or stand around with sinners,

    or join in with mockers.

But they delight in the law of the Lord,

    meditating on it day and night.

They are like trees planted along the riverbank,

    bearing fruit each season.

Their leaves never wither,

    and they prosper in all they do.

So, are you like that tree that is planted by the rivers of water, or do you uproot your seed every few minutes? Some of us refuse to be patient while jumping from one thing to the next! And we must ask ourselves another question. 

Why do I do what I do?

• Is my motive for being celibate to "get me a husband" or is it because I want to truly honor God with my entire life, be holy as He is holy & truly live for Him?
• Is my motive for working hard getting promoted so I can fill my void of being an overachiever or do I work as though I am working onto the Lord? Longing for Him to use you at your job as THAT is the current ministry He has given you! 
• Is my motive for being submitted to my husband getting him to do what I really want him to do? So, I will cook-- as long as you perform my love language. I will tell you that you look nice because I want you to touch me. I will perform your love language ONLY because I want you to do mine, NOT because my LOVE for you is unconditional. Matter of fact, I am bitter and mad when you don't do what I want you to do for me.
• Is my motive for living for Jesus because I want His hand & not His heart? I want what I think God can do for me. So, I will obey bits & pieces of what God tells me to do & choose Him like I'm selecting items off of a menu. You see, I don't really want to die to myself for real, I just want the "good life." 

Ask yourself, do you really love Jesus and want to live for Him or is this life about you & your selfish ways? And maybe, just maybe, God closes certain doors because you continue to bust through doors that you aren't supposed to go through and He would rather you be UNCOMFORTABLE for a season that uncomfortable for a LIFETIME.  

It's time for us to take our eyes off of ourselves and put them onto Christ.. but for real. And then make a DAILY decision that we are going to stay in this place of true, authentic, unconditional love. 

1 Corinthians 13 tells us: that love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

So, are you losing faith in God's timing? Are you patient with others as you want God to be patient with you? Constantly complaining about everything you think God is not doing in your life? Are you kicking your plant around because it hasn't sprouted? Have you given it time to even grow..

Start with getting back to your first love. Go SPEND TIME WITH HIM.  I wonder how many times the ANSWER to our prayers and the QUESTIONS we have for the day was actually found in the bible passage & the words from the Holy Spirit that we didn't read that morning. 

Lets focus on what God IS doing in your life. 

1. He saved you. 
So, keep your eyes on heaven and NOT on earth.

The end. 

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com.

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 21,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting a Marriage Retreat in August & a Single Retreat in October & so far, both events are almost sold out! We would LOVE to meet you! Join us via www.thegonow.com under events!

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

I taught a message on "What About Me" last week in South Carolina. Check out a short clip here.