New Book: The Runaway Bride

Eeeek! I am THRILLED to announce my fourth book, "The Runaway Bride" is FINALLY here! This book is going to challenge you, convict you, make you cry, laugh and most importantly, push you closer to Jesus. After I preached "The Runaway Bride" at the 2014 Pinky Promise Conference, the Holy Spirit told me to follow the sermon with a book. I had no idea that for the next 9 months, God was going to wreck me, change me and restore me by showing me that I even run from Him in some areas.

You can find the book available NOW via a few avenues!

1. If you order it via my Pinky Promise Boutiques, for a limited time, I will sign the books BUT they won't ship until the week of June 15th! You can find the boutique HERE. 

2. You can order directly from my publisher HERE.

3. OR You can go on Kindle/Amazon & order HERE! 

P.S. I WILL be selling copies at the 2015 Pinky Promise Conference and I have a few scheduled book signings there as well!

I love you all and I'm thankful for your support!

Heather Lindsey

"Trusting God Through the Hard Times"

I know that its hard to trust God at times. I know that you have your good days and then you have some really rough days where you're like.. Lord, how long before.. this or that?

I've learned that I can't focus on "this or that" or what I think I'm lacking. My focus must be on the Lord alone because if I ain't content with just Him, then He won't bring things into my life so that I can make those things my idols. 

Philippians 4:11-13 New Living Translation (NLT)

 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.

So, the secret to not having a man or having a man is Christ. The secret to not getting that promotion or getting it is Christ. The secret to not having a car or having a car in Christ. Now, insert your situation. The answer is knowing that Christ gives you strength to be content and to trust Him, even when you don't understand. So, whether it happens or not, you are content in Christ. Isn't that a powerful statement? You may have read that scripture a million times but maybe it hasn't really become real in your heart. We must come to a place in our walk where we say, "Lord, whether it happens or not, you are my portion, you are my strength, you are my joy. I TRUST you as a good Father to provide what I NEED in due season."

Do I "have" everything I want? 

Gosh, that's no longer my focus. It can't be your focus either. Just wake up, take each day.. day by day and give your days the the Lord. I used to focus on what I didn't have and then those things became amplified in my heart. If you stare at something long enough, that thing will be all you can see. And some of us keep staring at other peoples relationships, other peoples ministries, other peoples success, other peoples this or that. We've taken our eyes off of Christ and we have put them on humans. 

How can we change this?

Our focus must shift from what we think we need to the cross. So, if that door opens or not, it doesn't matter. Our focus was never in that door opening, it's in Christ so if the door opens, great, if not, It wasn't supposed to open so I trust Him. 

My husband and I took a walk the other day and we walked by this apartment building that was being demolished. It looked TERRIBLE! Bulldozers were everywhere and I was thinking, gosh, what a huge undertaking! The Holy Spirit told me that THIS is what we look like when we give our lives to Jesus. It looks like a huge bulldozer came in and destroyed your entire heart. God wrecks our relationships, our old mindset and our lives and then, brick by brick with the RIGHT foundation.. He prepares our hearts. And, this is where it gets hard. 

Why?

Because you're used to a certain level of being comfortable prior to Christ. And although the foundation was jacked up, you were still comfortable in your bondage. You were comfortable in your dysfunctional relationships. You were comfortable in your depression.  You were comfortable in your sin. 

Then Christ came and changed your heart. He convicted you of your sin and the Holy Spirit came in, destroyed the sin and started the real healing process. So, as the foundation is laid.. it can be pretty painful. It can be hard. It can be frustrating. Things can seem slow. God won't allow certain bricks to be laid from your past. Things can seem almost like you're forgotten but you must stay faithful to the Lord an keep living for Him. You cannot stop, you cannot quit, you cannot run back to the vomit that the Lord has freed you from! There's NO profit there! One day, your house will stand tall and beautiful with the RIGHT foundation. So then, when the attacks and the winds of this world come, it won't be able to knock your house down. 

Matthew 7:25 "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

Jesus is preparing you for ETERNITY. This life is so much bigger than these temporary things. SO, learn to be content RIGHT where you are. An event won't change a discontent heart so even with that child you prayed for, you still may find yourself unhappy. Even with that husband you believed God for, you will still find that he ain't the source of your joy. Even moving to that new location, you will find ways to be unhappy. Being content is a heart issue. Your contentment proves who you trust. 

Who do you trust?

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

6 Months Pregnant with baby girl Lindsey! :) Me & my best friend Delan!

Just a few things:

1. Find my (3) books, purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. We also have our New Years Service at the same place at 10pm EST! Join us! 

4. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 32,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. Pinky Promise is hosting a statewide baby shower for low income & single mamas in Atlanta, GA on September 12. If you want to donate or be a part of it, please email pinkypromisequestions@gmail.com For donations only, you can send the payment via PayPal to pinkypmovement@gmail.com & be sure to note that its for the Statewide Baby Shower. All donations are tax deductible. 

8. I'm headed to California & VA/DC area in April. Check my calendar for event details!

"The Private War: Trusting God through the Silent Seasons"

Ever felt like you have gone through seasons where things were moving and shaking? It seems like you were growing in Christ, doors were flying open and life was good! You enjoyed your time with the Lord and then.. out of now where.. you hit a quiet season.

Doors don't seem like they are opening, you don't feel like you have clear instructions from God, you almost want to run back to that happy season but even those doors seem closed. And it seems like God isn't as close to you as He was before. 

If you have ever felt that way, I want you to know that it's ok & it's NORMAL. You're simply going through a test and you have the option to pass the test & totally rely on God OR, you have the option to go & create a life and open your own doors that will end up in turmoil.

Lets read this story together:

Genesis 11 New King James Version

The Tower of Babel

11 Now the whole earth had one language and one speech. 2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar, and they dwelt there. 3 Then they said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They had brick for stone, and they had asphalt for mortar. 4 And they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.”

5 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. 6 And the Lord said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them. 7 Come, let Us go down and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.” 8 So the Lord scattered them abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they ceased building the city. 9 Therefore its name is called Babel, because there the Lord confused the language of all the earth; and from there the Lord scattered them abroad over the face of all the earth.

The whole earth came together and thought that they were going to outsmart God. So, God had to confuse their language and shut down their plans. And in your own life, God has to confuse the language you have with your boss, that boyfriend you shouldn't be with, that church or that friend that is pushing you away from Jesus. It seems like for no reason whatsoever, you guys are no longer on the same page. You don't understand it and it's frustrating but God had to stop the plans that YOU came up with for your life. 

You see, God has great plans for your life and those plans include suffering, trusting Him and letting HIM lead your life. In this private war, you may not even be able to articulate what God is doing in your heart. You have this war of the flesh, this war of trying to be who God called you to be, this war of wanting to quit, this war of resting in God, this war of "when is it my time God."

Here's the kicker.

There's times where you're going to just have to sit there and not move. I'm not telling you to be lazy, I'm telling you that God may want you to stop building YOUR tower and sit there long enough to hear HIS instructions for YOUR life. And you will have to be honest with yourself, you won't know the next step and thats OK. If you had ALL the answers for life, why would you need Jesus? HE places those voids in our hearts because we can only be filled by Him and Him alone. He is calling you back to that quiet place with Him. So, be honest with yourself.

1. You don't know where you're going, but God does. 

2. You're sitting and trusting Him until He leads you to the next step.

3. If He ain't opening the doors then you aren't going to bust open a door. 

4. If He wants to pursue something, He will make it plain to you.

5. Enjoy this season instead of running out of it. You've been running so long and trying to create your plans for so long that God had to get your attention. 

This world screams into our heart, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? What are your plans? What is next for you? Where is your new man? WHY aren't you taking that job? It makes SO much money! But there is this quiet whisper in your heart and the Holy Spirit is telling you to rest. Don't move. Sit there until He leads and instructs. You see, you ain't ready. You think you're ready but you're not ready. If you were then you would rest until God opened up the right doors. You would be OK with not knowing the next step because you know that obedience is GREATER than temporary things.  

In my own life, we've been approached by 3 large TV networks for reality shows and a publishing company all within about 2-3 months. And with all 4 "opportunities" I had no peace. I wanted to move forward with at least one of them because it seemed like a great opportunity but it just wasn't time for that door to be opened. You almost have to ask your motive for why you want open doors in your life. Are you focused on eternity or are you focused on building your name on this earth? I don't know about you but I just want God. I want the Holy Spirit to so enjoy living in Me that He bursts with joy daily. I want to be so led by the Holy Spirit that I see Gods glory like Moses did. This eternity mindset has nothing to do with the very real tests and trials that will attack you on this earth. What does the bible say about tests? Does it tells us to run? NO! It tells us to ENDURE! To stay faithful to God and to REJOICE. 

James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

So, smile the next time that somebody asks, "WHEN are you getting you a man??! WHEN are you doing this? WHEN are you doing that?  Smile because you know that you are trusting God and you aren't going to step outside of HIS will to create some tower of babel. You don't need no tower of a man, tower of some job, tower of some thing. You need the very presence of the Holy Spirit smashing out anything that isn't like God in your heart. You simply need Him and Him alone. 

Let's fight this thing together. Let's all just sit there until the Lord leads us. Even if we look crazy. Even if the world calls us crazy. We KNOW this truth:

Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

GOD will complete it. God will complete it. I said, GOD WILL COMPLETE it. Even if you're about to get evicted. EVEN if you are lonely. Even IF you don't understand. EVEN if you are sad. Even if things look down. Place your FAITH in Jesus Christ and not this worlds temporary feelings and things. 

But.. will you believe that?

Lets step building things that He never told us to build and going places He never told us to go. EVEN if that means QUITTING on something YOU started.

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. Use code JESUS for 10% off!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book,  Dusty Crowns, here! 

5. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 27,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 

A Starved Spirit: Hungering for God Again

"My daughter, you're becoming so busy and concerned about the things of this world that you're hardening your heart against me. Being overwhelmed and worried hardens your heart against My presence in your life because you take your eyes off of me and you put them on your situation. You take your eyes off of me and your allow for worry to consume your heart. I long to flow in and out of you but I need you to stop holding onto your ways and thinking. 

So, that was a very real conversation that I had with God at one point in my life. I never thought that I was hardening my heart against Him! I mean, I'm helping people, I'm writing books, I'm praying for others, laying hands, blogging, I'm serving my family! I mean, come on God! He said, but Heather, you are doing it out of an empty, overwhelmed spirit. You are rushing from here to there and even in your prayer time with me, you are rushing through it and running off to the next thing on your to-do list all while thinking about your schedule in my presence. It's almost like, God was whispering to my heart & I screamed back through my actions, "GOD, I don't have time for that right now, I'm too busy praying." God is JEALOUS for my schedule. He is JEALOUS for the time I give all of things things & people.

At times, we can be doing all of these God things and then we feel overwhelmed and weary. We cry out to Him and we still feel the same way. You see, you're doing what you're doing out of an empty spirit. Your spirit man is STARVED. The crazy thing is this, when we are hungry, our body tells us and we run and eat some food. It's it crazy that when our Spirit man is hungry, we don't pick up the word of God, don't spend time with God, don't meditate on scripture, too busy to go to church, or whatever else! No wonder why you're distracted & overwhelmed! Now, you're stubborned & you're not longer sensitive to God like you used to be.

It's time to get back to your FIRST love. 

Hebrews 2:1

So, we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard or we may drift away from it. 

Do you remember when you first got saved? You were SO excited about God! You would sit before Him & read your bible daily. You would apply it throughout the day! You wouldn't dare take your phone with you for quiet time because it was a precious time between you & God. You would wake up thinking about God and go to sleep thinking about God. You would listen to sermons 24-7. You talked about God all the time. You guarded your heart. You would write out scriptures and meditate on them daily. You were VERY intentional about spending time with God!

THEN, you got saved and passed a few tests, which is great! And now, you serve in a few ministries at church. You've been saved for a few years and instead of that hunger & reverence for God, it becomes this:

1. I know that scripture, I don't need to study it.
2. WHO is this minister? What are they talking about? (granted, we should test every spirit, but this isn't a testing that you're doing-- it's "I know more than you, so how did you get up there?"
3. I don't have time to go to church today or the small group. I know what they're going to teach and I already know it.
4. I don't feel like spending time with God today.. (as you spend 3 hours on Facebook or shopping online.)
5. I mean, I can still live like this, God will forgive me. You lost your standards & you took your eyes off of Him & put them on you.

John 8:31 tells us "If you will continue in my word, you are truly my disciples."

There's a CONTINUING in this WALK! You have to KEEP staying hungry & thirsty for God! You don't know everything! You never will! There's a CONSTANT growing and learning and if you study one scripture one day, God can give you a brand new revelation of the same scripture if you stay in EXPECTATION. If you no longer hunger for God, you have to ask God to HELP you to hunger for Him again. 

Then, the test will come your way. A opportunity to get distracted & to move in another direction. But who will you choose? Will you choose that ungodly music? Will you choose that pornography? Will you choose that man? Will you choose that friend? Will you choose to meditate on social media instead of sitting before Him?

As I was studying this, I saw a boat. The boat had no power and it was just drifting in the direction of the current. It was just floating away, further and further from it's direction. This is exactly what happens to you when you're distracted and starved. You're drifting in the direction of the world's current and you're moving further and further away from the direction because you don't have the HOLY SPIRITS POWER to go BACK to where you're supposed to be. You have no power. You're drifting away from God. You're empty. It's time to turn your boats power back ON & sit before the Lord quietly until He shows you what to do.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Have I drifted away from God?
2. Why am I no longer hungry for Him?
3. What has taken the power from my boat?
4. Who or what has separated me from God?
5. Why am I no longer thirsting for God?

Most likely, you've started in the spirit and now, you've taken your life into your own hands. (Galatians 3:3). You're self sufficient and you tell God what He needs to do vs. you sitting at the feet of our Lord and letting HIM lead your life.

Stop drifting. It's time to return back to Him. Start today.

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. Use code JESUS for 10% off!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book,  Dusty Crowns, here! 

5. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 26,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting an event in LA on October 4th, I want to see you there! http://www.eventbee.com/v/pinkypromise/event?eid=169814152

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

 

(Me & my hubby at the 2014 Pinky Promise Conference)

"Dry Seasons: God, where are You?"

Have you ever felt like you don't feel God's presence? Maybe, you go to church, you're trying to do the right thing. You've cut off bad relationships. You're REALLY trying to live for God but it STILL feels like you don't sense Him near you. You STILL feel like He's not giving you wisdom. You STILL feel like maybe.. I need to pray more. Or maybe, study more. Maybe then, God will make me feel full again.

If you've ever felt this way, I can relate with you.

But, this is what I've learned.

Just because I don't feel God's presence, doesn't mean He's not there. God is omnipresent. God is present everywhere! My feelings aren't the determining factor on if God is there or not. At what point did I make my feelings my idol or my god? And why do I keep trying to earn God like He's man? I am righteous by faith in the blood of Jesus, not in my works! Yes, faith without works is dead but if my faith is in Jesus then I will NATURALLY do work & live for Him. NOT the other way around.

Sadly, I thought my works made my faith. So, I did things & I said: LOOK GOD! Do you love me more?! Look God, I prayed. Where is my sticker? Look God, I served at church.. do you love me more? James makes the statement “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also” (James 2:26). Faith without works is dead faith because the lack of works reveals an unchanged life or a spiritually dead heart. There are many Scriptures that make it very clear that true saving faith will results in a CHANGED life, which is demonstrated by the “works” we do. How we live reveals what we believe and whether the faith we profess to have is a living faith.

James 2:14–26 is sometimes taken out of context in an attempt to create a works-based system of righteousness, but that is contrary to many other Scriptures.The scripture is not saying that our works make us righteous before God, but he is making it clear that real saving faith is demonstrated by good works. Works are not the cause of salvation; works are the evidence of salvation. The person who claims to be a Christian but lives in TOTAL disobedience to Christ with a life that shows no works has a false or dead faith and isn't saved. James is clearly showing you the difference between two different types of faith—truth faith that saves and false faith that is dead. So, in the midst of my dry season, I learned that it is out of my love for Jesus, I spend time with God. It is out of my love for my family that I serve them. Not for a cookie or a reward, but simply because I love them & it aint' got nothing to do with my emotions but everything to do with my unconditional love towards them.

You see, your feelings are constantly subject to change. You eat a huge meal you may feel heavy and sleepy with no energy. Then, the next day you drink a green smoothie-- so you're on a high again. Then, the next day your boss scolds you and .. there goes your mood again.

Why are your moods so unstable? Is that all it takes to push you off of your rocker?

"Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."- 1 Peter 5:8

Satan has watched you and many just like you for YEARS so he & his little demons pretty much know what makes you tick.

Whenever my feelings or my emotions try to run to cling onto some silly understanding of a huge God, I'm reminded of:

"Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers? Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?"- Isaiah 40:12

Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust." - Isaiah 40:15

How COMFORTING?! God holds the universe in the palm of his HAND! What perspective! 

And maybe, just maybe you are going through a dry season in your life because you are clinging on to so many things and people that God cannot even speak life into your hardened heart? Maybe, just maybe you're heart has been in things, money, pride, status and this world?  God cares so much about you that He will allow for you to be stripped from worldly things so He will have His proper place. He refuses to share His glory with anyone else & He is JEALOUS for you. Do you think God is just gonna sit there & let you seek after this world & not CARE? God surly has a way of getting our attention again. He knows how to bring a man to repentence. So, stop wrestling with Him.

I challenge you sister to keep blogging, keep praying, keep spending crazy time with God, keep pressing in and don't move until God pushes you to move. In that moment where we feel like all hope is lost, God is whispering into our ears "As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength.- Psalm 138:3"

Just to give you a few practice tips during this season:

1. Don't quit on God, He is the only One that is leading you & the only One that can HELP  you. So, spend MORE time with Him and don't run back to your past when you get uncomfortable. Spending time with God daily should be like that flight you're catching at 7am free flight to Hawaii everyday. You know good & well you wouldn't miss that all expense paid trip. So, why is it so hard for your flesh to set a time for God & stick with it but we can get up for work, a flight.. school. There's a reason you don't desire God sis & it's because you stopped giving your attention to Him!

2. Let go of anyone or anything that is hindering your walk with the Lord. Yes, that person. You know who it is! God has already made it plain to you but you're rationalizing! Stop going back & forth with it & let it go!!

3. Guard that heart! You don't have time to sit & listen to stupid love songs & music that aint' glorifying the Father. Turn off the TV, unfollow a bunch of worldly celebrities & protect your heart. Your heart grows things and if you compare your life to all of these other people, you won't enjoy this season. You will compare your life to a persons highlight reel & think that God forgot about you.

4. Be kind to others. Yes, this may seem easy to do but when you're not feeling good about yourself, sometimes its hard to be nice to others. Avoid the pity party & get UP from your depression. Get UP from your feelings! Get UP & go help someone else that is struggling! When you get your eyes off of yourself & become selfless-- you will find the joy & the beauty in sowing time & energy into others as the Lord leads you.

 5. Learn, learn & learn some more! Read Christian BOOKS, listen to encouraging podcasts and surround yourself with believers. Never stop learning and take what you learn & apply it to your daily life. But before you pick up everybody else's book--  make sure your face is in the bible first. Nothing replaces that.

I'm praying for you. I'm standing in agreement with you & so is the rest of the body of Christ. Remember that when you quit, it puts a burden on the rest of the body to pick up where you quit on God. So, hang in there! God is for you!

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. Use code JESUS for 10% off!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book,  Dusty Crowns, here! 

5. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference2015.eventbee.com!

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 26,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting an event in LA on October 4th, I want to see you there! http://www.eventbee.com/v/pinkypromise/event?eid=169814152

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

My little family! :) Check out Logan's smile!

"I Think I Married the Wrong Man"

Just to quickly clear this up, I definitely didn't marry the wrong man. I am married to an awesome man by the name of Cornelius and he truly loves me like Christ loves the church. He's not PERFECT by any means. but he is sure working on being a better man DAILY as I am too. He's an amazing leader, husband, father & all that other good stuff. He really considers our family and puts us first after God.

But, have I ever thought that I married the wrong person? Um. yes. How many times? Maybe 40-50 times in our 4 years of being married. Especially during our first year of marriage. I thought, Oh, God! I wish I would have married someone that was more like this or that, which was a lie because everybody has an issue so if it's not that issue, it's something else.

Let me just give you some background- as most of you know, we waited to kiss until our wedding day.  So, you would think that BECAUSE we waited that things would be strawberries and flowers everyday afterwards-- psh, please. I realized even more that first year how IMPORTANT it is to marry a man that really loves Jesus because your marriage is going to get hit with attacks and if you don't have that solid foundation, your marriage may not make it. I seriously believe the ONLY reason that we are married to this day is because of the cross. If Jesus came and died for our sins and gave us an opportunity to be in the right relationship with Jesus-- can we not take on that same example and die to ourselves in our marriage?

Our first year was a rough year. I honestly didn't think we would make it. No, we didn't cheat on each other or anything crazy but we sure went through IT and back.

While courting, my husband worked full time at a "megachurch" and he pretty much was the chief of staff. He ran multiple departments, we had a "special" parking spot at church and had a "reserved" front row seat of a 10,000 seat church. He made great money, had a house, car and purpose. I didn't marry him for those reasons-- I married him because I believed in him, respected him, loved him and because the Lord told me to marry him. I knew that we would eventually leave and start our own ministry, I just didn't know it would be so soon.

Three months into our marriage, my husband got extremely quiet. For about 2 weeks, he didn't say much of anything to me and it was SO hard! I quickly learned that when he gets really quiet for periods of time, it's because the Lord is dealing with him about something and it's not me (that was a huge struggle, because I didn't want him to be mad at me!). So, by week two-- I got the memo. Then, he came to me and told me that the Lord wanted him to quit his job and to move to Mississippi. Huh? Wait, huh? "Well, babe-- I support you. I am excited and I will go find me a pair of cowboy boots and enjoy Mississippi." You see, Cornelius could have told me that we were moving to Alaska and I would have been online looking up snowsuits. I simply believed in my husband and that He is constantly led by the Lord. So, leaving "everything" wasn't the hard part. The hard part was when we actually GOT to Mississippi. No church. No friends.  Our old "pretend" friends were talking about us for leaving the church & saying that we missed God. Still trying to figure out how to leave your past, family and whatever else and become "one flesh." It was plain hard. We would get into huge fights because it was just him and I in this tiny 1-bedroom apartment and we weren't used to being together 24-7. I was working from home for a Software Hedge Accounting firm and he would pray and study 7-9 hours a day. It was a huge difference from our life before because our finances really became ONE. Then, we got pregnant. I cried because I didn't want to get pregnant (which was so selfish, but I came from the New York mindset of career first) and Cornelius was super excited. Then, 6 weeks later we miscarried. Then, my step dad suddenly passed away. (My father passed in 2000) Then, my nephew committed suicide, then, my friend suddenly had a brain aneurysm and died. All of these things hits me like a brick. Then, we had to cut back on everything because we were living on one salary so we would argue about money. All of this happened within 6 months of being married. I still didn't really trust him because I was crazy and had been lied to and cheated on by so many guys in my past, I felt like I had to keep tabs on him. He felt the same way and couldn't trust me either. We BOTH didn't do anything to make the other feel this way.. it was just an attack from our old mindset.  We were both a TRAIN WRECK to say the least. After one huge argument, we both screamed at each other, "I WANT A DIVORCE!!!"

As I balled my eyes out in the closet, I started to ponder where I could go. We live in Mississippi. I have no friends. I have nowhere to go. I can afford a hotel room for a night, but we don't really have it, so I felt trapped. I felt like I had no where to go and I felt like nobody understood me. I am stuck in this marriage and we waited to kiss.. & all we do is FIGHT. I learned that becoming "one flesh" wasn't a fairytale and because we had so much crap in our past-- that when we "work out our salvation.." it's going to be HARD sometimes. So as I sat there.. I questioned:

Did I marry the wrong one Lord? Show me God!

"No Heather, you didn't "marry the wrong one. Through this marriage, I will teach you what it means to love the way that I love-- and that is unconditionally. I will use Cornelius to show you your true self so that you can repent of your sin and truly be made in my image. And did you know that I created Cornelius and I can give you the insight on him? On how to deal wisely with him and how to win him over? I created him."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. 

God, YOU know Cornelius. I'm over here trying to figure out this man.. and you can show me how to have a peaceful marriage. At WHAT point did I pick up my life Lord? Oh Gosh, I'm so sorry. I repent. Teach me how to be a woman after your own heart in every single way.

Galatians 3:3
How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?

I had picked up my own life at some point and then I started to see the fruit of it. I was operating as a wife in my own human effort and ability and constantly came up short in submission, in loving him, in respecting him and a peaceful marriage. I nagged him, tried to control what he ate, how he dressed and just about everything. What's crazy is this:: I contemplated, "God, did I marry the wrong one?" AS I NAGGED the mess out of my husband. Isn't it ironic how we focus on what the other person "should" be doing while we totally reject and ignore our portion? Even in my selfish prayers of "asking my husband" to change-- God began to really deal with my heart. And, finally I let Him. He began to show me where I was wrong and that he reveals weaknesses in my husband-- not for me to bash him, but for me to pray for him. 



Did you know that when you PRAY for your husband, you're actually praying for yourself? You are one flesh! How beautiful is this? So, I started to bind some things up & I went before the Lord about BOTH of our weaknesses. Instead of bashing Cornelius, I started to pray earnestly for him and I stayed on my face before the Lord. During the day-- if he tried to argue or there was an opportunity to nag-- I would just shut up. I would silently cry out to the Lord and I would go to the bathroom or my quiet time space. "Lord, you know what I've been praying and that conversation didn't line up with my prayers. So, God, give me the grace to love him. Give me the grace to understand him. Show me my ways Jesus. Help me to live for you in everyday." You may be screaming, but "WHAT about YOU Heather?! Why is it that WE always have to change." Well, honey-- somebody has to change. And because you're reading this-- maybe God is encouraging you to be the bigger person & exercise that love muscle? Satan is AFTER your godly relationships. He's AFTER your marriage & you're just letting him tap-dance on your life. STOP it. LOVE back & HARD.

When you get married, you are CLOSE to another person. You see all of their weaknesses, flaws, problems, joys, strengths and struggles. So, what do you do when you're that close? Beat them up and criticize them, or do you get on your face on behalf of your spouse and cry out to God? Some of you are so mad at God because of your marriage that you don't even spend time with Him anymore. You have all together given up on your marriage and God. Sis, it's time to get back to the heart of worship. If you feel far away from God-- someone moved.

James 4:8 "Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world."

So, draw close to God. AND then, He will come close to you. Know that He is always, always, always there. But if He feels far away, you most likely pushed Him to that position while placing things over him. As you continue to read that same verse, it says that your loyalty is divided between God and that wedge is what is separating you from His sweet presence and wisdom.

You may have questions.

1. But Heather, I married an unbeliever. What do I do?
Now, this isn't an excuse to marry a unbeliever. If you're dating or engaged to someone you're unequally yoked with-- I encourage you to end that relationship. Don't make excuses that "you're going to save him" because you cannot save him sis. There's a chance that he may never get saved and that he will resent the God you love so much for the next 40 years.

Back to the question-- I know it's hard, but "Win him over with your quiet & gentle spirit." based on 1 Peter 3:4. It won't be easy and it's easier SAID than done but if you want a great marriage, we must do what the bible says in regards to bringing peace to the home.

2. You don't know my husband. He's crazy! He refuses to meet my needs!
I can totally understand how you feel. I have felt the same way before. My husbands love language is acts of service & my love language is touch. So, for a LONG time-- I felt like he was ignoring my love language as he ran around doing "acts of service." We have to remember that when we get married, it no longer becomes about "my needs." My best advice would be to stop focusing on what you think he needs to do and focus on Jesus. Yes, its that simple. I watched my marriage change when I stopped nagging my husband, having stinky attitudes, and complaining all the time. Ask the Lord to help you, He's not surprised by whats happening.

3. My husband is cheating on me. What do I do? 
My heart breaks that you're going through this huge test. I couldn't imagine what you're going through right now. My advice to you would first and foremost is to believe God for reconciliation. If your husband is repentant, try to find counseling collectively & separately. The biggest hurtle with this test is trusting and and forgiveness. FORGIVE people when they sin against you. If you do, your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive people their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14, 15). This may seem impossible, but with God's grace, the victim can make it an act of the will in obedience to God's Word. To carry bitterness will affect attitudes, emotions, and the desire to obey God, and it will negatively affect everyday decisions. But the grace of God will greatly minister to your needs. We must let God minister to our needs-- running from your marriage into the arms of another man for payback or quitting on God will get you nowhere. Not forgiving & casting your care on God will birth a unforgiving heart that will soon be tormented with vengeful thoughts, anger, wrath, etc. Then, as God leads, forgiveness and reconciliation can follow. Even if this takes time, every effort must be made to forgive and reconcile. (See Matthew 5:23-24.)

4. How long.. do I have to keep doing the right thing until he changes?
Well, what is your motive for doing the right thing? For a cookie? I don't mean to be harsh sis, but if your motive is based on conditions, you've already lost the battle. We must do what we do out of real, unconditional love-- not out of a ".. he better respond this way or else" attitude. Although your words change, your demeanor may stay the same-- so he can sense your "funkiness." I'm always reminded of the grace Jesus gives me when I want to withhold grace from my husband.

5. Heather, why are you telling me everything I need to do and you aren't blaming this man!
Well, your man isn't reading this, you are sis. Again, lets get the focus off of you & put it on Jesus. Have you given up hope that the Lord can fix your problem? Remember that nothing is impossible for Him. He can restore, heal and give life again.


I love you all, I really do. I want nothing more than to see you joyful and fulfilling the will of God for your life and strife in your relationships could hinder that. If your hardened against your husband then you are also hardened against God. TRUST me that I am taking up my cross on a DAILY basis with my very STRONG personality-husband and praying for him to become more like Christ. You're not alone in this journey.

Just a few things:

1. SO excited that I just released my NEWEST book, "Dusty Crowns!!" Find it here. 

2. My hubby just released his newest book too!! It's called "Learning how to walk: Inspiring others to walk by faith!"  You can find it here. 

3. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. Use code JESUS for 10% off!

4. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

5.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

6. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

7. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

8. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 24,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

9. We are hosting an event in LA on October 4th, I want to see you there! http://www.eventbee.com/v/pinkypromise/event?eid=169814152

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Why he's NOT going to be your Husband"

Can I be honest? I believe that there's this growing trend in the church of women, "waiting for their adam" to wake up and instead of trusting God & His timing-- they are becoming distracted. Its important that if you're "waiting" for your Adam to wake up, that your eyes are completely on Jesus and not crushing on every man at the church and social media. 

Lets check out these scenarios:

1. "Girlllll, you see that new man in that blue suit at church today? He is so fine. And did you see the way he looked at me and then when he went up for prayer? I was singing at church and the Lord told me to look right and then he said.. "that's going to be your husband." And I was like ooooh myyyy gosh, it's about time, my Adam woke up!! Let me go make sure he knows that he's going to be my husband."

Response: Sis, if it's God-- He will tell BOTH parties. You cannot manipulate your will over another persons will and pray that you'll end up together. If it's really God, peace will follow and He will divinely set things up. If not, it's not Him and it's witchcraft or manipulation. So, if the above is true, then rest. The problem with the above is this:: you may have your kids and entire life planned out and he may have a girlfriend who lives in another state. Then, when he brings his girlfriend to the church and she joins your small group-- you may be mad at her because you think she took your man. BUT, God wanted to use you in each others life but because you allowed jealousy, confusion & strife into your heart-- you passed up a beautiful relationship all in the name of bitterness. And honestly, if God did tell you that "he's going to be your husband, then mind your business-- even if it takes the guy a couple years to pursue you. God isn't a liar so if it's HIM, it will happen. Time shall tell so in the interim, get your mind OFF of a ring and onto Christ. When we redirect our focus, He fills us up & we learn that we need Him, not another event.

I recall a time where me and Cornelius were engaged and he was in the bookstore after church. I wasn't visiting that weekend and this woman asked him where todays "recorded" sermon was located and he showed her-- she continued to ask and then he said, "it's right in front of you, are you blind?" (my hubby's come a long way, he used to be very blunt! lol) She responded: "I'm not blind, matter of fact, I like exactly what I see."And he said, "I'm sorry, but I'm engaged." She said, "you're not married yet." Huh? Blank-stare. Don't be that woman sis.

(While Courting- Aug 2009)

2. GIRL! Have you seen so & so's instagram page? He talks so much about Jesus. I'm going to go on  his page and post things everyday so maybe he will notice me & reach out to me. 

Response: Well, your friend has been checking for so & so too and she thinks that he's the one for her too. Now, she feels uncomfortable sharing things with you so it's become a competition in her mind. So, now-- both of you are quietly chasing for this mans attention and he doesn't even know either of you exist & you're slowly becoming bitter towards your friend as she reminds you of how much she likes him daily.
I'm reminded of:
Song of Soloman 8:4 "Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right."

There's a TIME that the love will be right and some of us are trying to wake up somebody else's adam.
So, until the right TIME comes, we have to rest and keep our eyes on Jesus. Remember this: If satan knows that you're thirsty for a man, he will send a man that your "old self" is attracted to but his heart won't be totally right with God. In your heart, you'll KNOW that you're settling. You will have zero peace about him but because you're lonely and tired of being single, you will continue to date him. You think in your mind that its better to be with someone than to be with no one & have to explain to others why you're single. But, if you continue in that mindset, you will ONLY dig a hole SO deep that you will eventually MISS out on the guy that God has for you.

If I can be transparent with you, I kept a boyfriend prior to my husband. I went from man to man, relationship to relationship because I liked the attention, to be loved and to be desired. But then, I kept hitting rock bottom in those relationships. And honestly, it wasn't always the guys-- it was ME. I was a TRAIN wreck. I tried to make those relationships idols and tag God's name to it. I tried to control the relationships and I continued to come up empty. I didn't need a man, I needed a Savior and I kept confusing the two. 

I wanted to be loved, cared for, thought about and protected but I didn't realize that I was searching in all the wrong places. Then, one day-- I realized that I will never be truly happy unless I'm whole in Jesus. I needed Him. So, I broke things off with my then boyfriend. I told him that I needed space and time to think because I'm confident that I was only ruining his life with my up and down confusion. I was single for a season and then I met my now husband. One of the FIRST questions my now husband asked me was pretty much this: "Do you have a boyfriend?"If I had a boyfriend, he would have kept it moving because a godly man with purpose doesn't have time for a woman with a bunch of baggage and a boyfriend. How do you expect the Holy Spirit to flow through that confusion? Why even start off on the wrong foot?

3. There's like NO men at my church, so I need to go after the ones that are there and get one before he's taken. 

Response: Sis, do you know that God can import a man? After I dated a few guys in NYC, I told the Lord that He is going to have to import my husband because I sure tried and I was TIRED of doing the picking. I told God that He's going to have to "drop" my husband from the sky and he literally did. :) My now husband had to fly into NYC for work every week so, he dropped into NYC from Atlanta. Isn't it funny how God has such a sense of humor? 

The truth:

You may think that getting into a relationship will fill your many voids but honestly, you will wake up one day and your bed may be filled with a husband and children but you still feel empty. You then blame your husband for not making you happy and nag him until you're blue in the face but it's not even him. You will tell him that he needs to work more hours, get your hair done, help more around the house or whatever else. But, it's not him.

Its you.

True joy comes from Jesus Christ and no human can ever, EVER, fill that void. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and our son, Logan-- but I understand that I have an assignment on this earth and that is to be a helper to my husband and to lead Logan to Jesus. Prior to this season, God really began to prepare my heart and show me who I was in Him. He showed me that humans are great people but terrible gods and he reminded me that marriage is a ministry of serving each other. If you get into a relationship with the mindset that someone is going to solve all of your problems, you may find that you're disappointed with unmet expectations. 

You're NOT content sis! Be honest with yourself! Go to the Lord and tell Him that you're discontent, mad, bitter or whatever else! He can WORK with an honest woman! 

4. You  meet a guy at church and you hear "he's going to be your husband" and you get so excited and gitty! But, you fail to look down at his ring finger and he's really married. 

Response: So, wait. That's not going to be your husband or is he going to leave his wife for you? Why would you ever, ever want to even start a relationship off with the foundation of adultery? And if he is dumb enough to leave his wife for you, he will most likely leave you for another after a few years of marriage.  And if you are married and you're reading this-- whatever you're searching for outside of your marriage can only be find WITHIN your marriage. You want excitement again? Get your butt up and be romantic, be exciting, pray for the spark to come back into your marriage and stop thinking that some other human can satisfy you. 


5. I'm going to another church where I can get noticed and so my husband can find me. 

Response: Sis, there's 6 billion people on this earth, if God wants you to meet someone, you will meet them and connect with them based on HIS timing, not your timing. My husband and I went to the same church and walked by each other for 3 years. We even were in the same meetings together sitting just a few feet away from one another. BUT, we didn't connect until 3 years later because we both weren't READY. As a single, I learned that if I cannot trust God for my spouse, then how can I trust Him for anything else? I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to be married and have kids one day. I let GO of trying to control it and I told God that I believe that HE put the desire in my heart for a family. So, since HE put that desire in my heart, HE is going to bring it to pass-- not ME. 

So, cheers to burning the "you're going to be my husband" card. As women, we will no longer chase down a man, instead, we will chase down Christ. The end.

And one day, you will THANK GOD that "he's not going to be your husband" because God can see what you cannot SEE. God protects you more than you'll ever know and when he DOES introduce you to HIS best for your life, you will be thankful that it didn't work out with anybody else. So, let's get back to the heart of worship. Lets get back on our face with our attention turned to Jesus and not man. 


And P.S.-- sorry that I took so long in posting again. It's been an amazing month! I connected with my birth family and met my birth mother in Vegas this past week! AND I just finished my 3rd book that will be released in July! Eek! God is faithful!


Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. Use code JESUS for 10% off!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 24,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. I will be in Detroit speaking on June 14th and I would LOVE to meet you!! http://estore.greatergrace.org/SearchResults.asp?Cat=18

8. We are hosting an event in LA on October 4th, I want to see you there! http://www.eventbee.com/v/pinkypromise/event?eid=169814152

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

Why I Said "NO" To His Engagement Proposal"

I am married and I've never said no to my husband's wedding proposal. Actually, I fell to my knees, cried and we actually waited to kiss until our wedding day when my now husband proposed to me. I was so excited!.

But, prior to him, I did say no-- a couple times to men I once dated. 

I said no to men prior to him for a few important reasons that I really want you, single woman to consider. Understand that marriage is supposed to be forever and you don't want to marry someone out of fear or because you're afraid of being alone. When I was in these unhealthy relationships, I was searching for value or worth. I was searching for affirmation. I was searching for wholeness. I was searching for fulfillment. I was searching for happiness. I was searching for love. 

But..

I kept coming up empty. 

So, I got into a relationship with someone and we were together for awhile. But, I wasn't totally sold on him. I continued to stay in the relationship because I felt like he hit on my basic needs in a relationship. He was affectionate, nice, kind and giving. He said he loved Jesus and he served at church. Not only that, he assured me that the Lord called him into ministry one day. Perfect fit right? I kinda, sorta thought so. One thing was missing. 

My peace. 

"Lord, help me understand!? I mean, I don't see any other guys around and I think I want to marry him? I mean, I'm not totally sold on him, nor do I respect him as a man, but it works... God, I just.want.to.be.married.

So, we begin to move forward and discuss marriage. My heart constantly said no. My mind says no and my gut says no. But, I'm in my twenties.. my friends are getting married & I sure don't feel like starting over. 

So, he asks me and I tell him no. Then I tell him to stop asking me! I was AFRAID of marriage! What was I doing? I was buying time and stringing him along which was SO wrong. 

I said no to marriage to him because:

1. I didn't respect him as a man. I didn't believe in him and it didn't matter how much money he had or where he was working, I knew all of those things were temporary. I needed a man with vision, I needed someone I could believe in if he LOST all temporary things on this earth. When my now husband and I got married, he had a very high position at his old job. 3 months into our marriage-- God told him to leave his job and move to Mississippi and study the bible. HUH? You mean, God told you not to work and to just study & spend time with Him? To the natural eye, it may sound crazy but I believed in my husband and I still do. He would spend 10-12 hours a day with studying His bible. One year later, we started Pinky Promise. One year and a half later, we moved back to Atlanta and we started The Gathering Oasis- Church. God was preparing us. So, let me ask you this sis: If he wants to pack up and move to Alaska, will you be shopping for snow boots or will you nag him until he doubts what God told him?

2. I didn't have peace. The man pushed me away from Jesus and I clearly made our relationship my god. There was no standards. There were no boundaries. We had sex outside of marriage. It was emotionally led. It was controlling. My thing is this, if you led our relationship to SEX (fornication)-- a fruit of the FLESH, then what will our marriage look like? If I'm going to submit to you-- I need to know that YOU know where we are going and that you can properly lead me.  

3. I wasn't getting better as a woman. In Ephesians 5:25 it says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." Ok, I had to ask myself this question:  Was this man presenting me as a radiant church without spot or wrinkle? Um. No. Granted, I had a part to play too- I could have said "no" to the sex outside of marriage. But it was hard. I told him I didn't want to kiss until our wedding day and I quickly learned that he tried to kiss me everywhere else BUT on my face. Really? It takes TWO people to be on the SAME page. Amos 3:3 says that how can TWO people walk together unless they agree?? It's not enough for one person to want purity & the other person to want sex. Guess what, he's going to make you stumble sis. Let him go because it's much easier to pull you off the chair than it is to pull you up onto it. 

4. He wasn't a leader. Well, maybe he was a leader? But he sure wasn't leading me and I knew that he wouldn't lead my one day son that he wanted to have & I refused to birth a generation of wimpy men. Remember that you marry his mindset & his ways and he pours that into your kid, if he's around. 

5. I didn't trust him. Because he couldn't keep his hands off of me, we kept breaking up. Then I would find that he would run back to other women. Clearly, he had the same problem that I once had-- allowing humans to fill my voids. So, what would happen when our "marriage" hit a rough spot?? Would you run off to your co-worker?

6. I wasn't attracted to him. You have to wake up and love who you're looking at. I took all of the above + the fact that I wasn't attracted to him. I understand that physical ain't everything. It's FAR from it, but I wanted to be attracted to my one-day husband. 

7. I didn't like his friends. Lets just be honest, you are a reflection of your friends. His friends were playboys and loved to hang out and party. So, you can imagine how his bachelor party would look like.. strippers & all. I wanted a man that had accountability in his relationships and those men pushed him closer to the Lord. Even his "friends" at church were so carnal, I wasn't a believer. 

8. He was so secretive. If you cannot communicate and get on the same page as me while we are in a relationship, then our marriage will be in shambles. Communication wasn't a HUGE deal breaker, but after the top 7 things, I knew he wasn't it. This pairs with the leadership thing. I just don't know where we are going or if we are going to live in 10 different places in a 3-month span because I watch your life & it's so unstable. 

9. He was somebody else's husband. As I shared in "Where is my Adam" I believe that God allowed that door to be closed because it wasn't Gods will that we were to be together. Even if your relationship seems so perfect, if it's not God's will- you won't be doing what HE wants you to do. Especially if your man isn't saved. If you try to change him once you get the ring-- that man will resent the God that you serve and hate both of you. 

10. God told me no. I talked about "How to Hear God's voice" and I KNEW God was telling me NO. He was showing me WARNING signs & I never had a "good" feeling about walking down the aisle with this guy. Sis, I encourage you to tell that man NO! Even if you've already said yes. Even if the invites have been sent out. Even if you've already booked the venue. Yes, it may be hard to do it, but you'll either have a broken engagement or a broken marriage where you now include children.

A ring and a marriage ain't everything. Living for Jesus and giving our whole hearts to Him is everything. So, if you're in a relationship that you're not supposed to be in-- I encourage you to break it off and ask the Lord to give you boldness and help to keep your decision, even when you're lonely. Learn to trust God sis, I know it's hard but He is jealous for the time & the attention you give these guys! 

The worst feeling for a woman is to walk down the aisle to a man that God never told her to be with. She will remember that feeling forever. Walk down that aisle with peace instead. 

If if you did marry a man that you have no peace with, you will experience attacks that someone else may not have to go through. There is a cost to pay for disobeying God, BUT God can still use your marriage. Win your guy over with your quiet & gentle spirit & pray earnestly that God would save him.

God loves you like crazy. 

Heather Lindsey 

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com.

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 20,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting a Marriage Retreat in August & a Single Retreat in October & so far, both events are almost sold out! We would LOVE to meet you! Join us via www.thegonow.com under events!

Our wedding day! :) Eating prior to meeting the guests!