Social Media: Highlight Reels vs. Reality- The Danger of Comparing

Let me just give you the real deal on social media. Like ALL "media" in general, you are SHOWN what the owner would like for you to see. Nobody's life is perfect, even if it appears to be. You have great days, bad days, sad days, lonely days, frustrating days, hormonal days and every other kinda day. You SHOW people what you want them to see based on the brand that you're portraying to everyone else.  You're shown happy, exciting, awesome things. I mean, this is your highlight reel and you want people to have the best perception of you, right? You wouldn't dare post a picture of you crying or arguing with your husband. To bring it even closer to home, you wouldn't post a picture of yourself that wasn't up to your standards. You will take 10 + pictures until you get the right one, then edit it with a million filters-- all to upload the perfect photo. Then, people begin to form an image of you in their head. If you stay at the club with drinking and dancing pictures-- you're probably thrown in a category of a not-so-serious about life woman that likes to party. One that most likely isn't interested in a relationship with Jesus. (And let's all be honest, you ain't soul winnin' at no club sista. God tells us to pursue Him, not environments that encourage sin.)

If you love to cook, people will start to follow you because you always have yummy looking food! If you really love Jesus you may post a ton of encouraging things on your page. And don't get mad at someone who is disrespectful on your social media page towards you and your profile picture is you in a swimsuit. Save those goodies for your one-day-husband. Anyone can google your name and find that picture and now, the entire world can you see you in your bra & panties. They can save those pictures and use them against you, including a future employer. So, scroll through your pictures: What is your brand saying? What are your words saying? Are you cursing everyone out one minute and quoting scriptures the next?

Back to the subject: 
Know this.

In the midst of people posting, they're dealing with every-day real life issues. It's almost like we forget that people are IMPERFECT. WE all have things that God is working out in our life so how dare you get jealous and envious of a person's highlight reel?? They're showing you what they want you to see! And even in knowing that everybody has an issue, you shouldn't rejoice in that. Rejoice in YOUR portion and be thankful for what God has given you. Unfollow anyone that causes you to stumble in this area. If you're following certain "celebrities" or whoever else that are causing you to become jealous or envious of their life, common sense tells us to unfollow them & keep it moving.

Proverbs 4:23

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."

What you don't realize is this: browsing along their pictures and page and comparing their life to your life is planting a seed of discontentment. You may not see the fruit from the seed but I assure you, it's coming and it will aid in "determining the course of your life." You'll go throughout your day, run here-- run there and maybe a week or two-- or even a month later, you will start wondering, "God, when is it my time? or God, when will you provide this or that for me, or God-- I'm NOT happy" or whatever else! Don't you see what is happening!?? You're being SET-UP by satan and you keep taking the bait!  You run onto your ex's page to see his new "so called-happy-life" with his new girlfriend and you allow jealousy to overwhelm you! Then you start to question why the relationship ended-- knowing GOOD and well it was a relationship door  that God Himself closed for you. You start to wonder, "why did that person reject you? Why didn't he want the be with you." While you're wondering, the Holy Spirit is screaming-- "ARE YOU SERIOUS?? That person had NOTHING to do with your future and matter of fact, I never told you to get into that relationship. There was no profit from the beginning and now you are wondering why they rejected you? They were NEVER equipped to be with you from the beginning!" Not only that, you start to wish you could reach out to them but the only thing that really restrains you is the fact that you have a ring on your left ring hand finger. You're married, but still haven't gotten over that ex.

We must diligently guard our hearts from anyone or anything that could possible cause us to stumble. The reality is this: We all go through tests and trails. We all have good & bad days. We all need a Savior. We all can choose to be positive in the mist of negativity. We all can be transparent in saying life isn't perfect but knowing Christ gives us perceptive.

You may say, "ok Heather-- I hear you, but my struggle isn't being jealous of unbelievers, but Christians. How do I deal with that?"

Well, here you go:

1 Corinthians 12:12- 26 

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[e] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. (in other words- this is Heather talking'-- what God is telling me to do, doesn't seem as exciting as someone else so I won't do it.) And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 

How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen,  while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other.  If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

Please re-read that last sentence. If one part suffers, all parts suffer. If ONE part suffers, ALL parts suffer. So if you're over there as the leg and mad and won't move because you're the foot-- then the LEG cannot do it's part! We are a part of the BODY of Christ and each of our functions has a PURPOSE. Now, the body of Christ is walkin' around here crippled because people are refusing to do their part! You may not be the arm, but who cares, you're something and God wants to USE you!! STOP trying to be a finger when God called you to be a arm. 

Let's be clear, the WILL of God on this earth will be completed whether you do it or not. God will raise up somebody else to do it but you don't want to stand before God and say, "umm.. I didn't do what you called me to do because I was jealous that I couldn't preach." Really??? God gives you grace to be YOU. Not another. 

So, I challenge you-- stop focusing on everybody's highlight real and start finding the beauty in your OWN life. The good, bad & ugly-- laying it ALL at the feet of the Father. 

Just a few things:

1. I am opening up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think modest, fashionable, affordable clothes for women! Opening day of the boutique: October 15th via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! Find our app by Oct. 7th for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindseys

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 15,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

Family Troubles?

Picture this scenario:

1. A total stranger comes up to you & says I don't like the way you did that. Your response? Maybe you'd get upset briefly but you would most likely forget about it within a few hours. 

2. Your father comes up to you & says I don't like the way you did that. Your response? You're most likely going to respond in a defensive way and get upset with him. Maybe he ALWAYS has something to say about everything you do. Maybe you feel like you cannot totally please him. Nonetheless, there's history behind your relationship so when he (or any other family member) says something to you. When they talk, it presses a button of irritation that ONLY someone really close to you can push. 

Do you see the difference? And do you really think that satan is going to use some random stranger off the street that you have ZERO history with to say a few empty words to ruffle your feathers? No, he knows that it won't distract you! Instead, he will use your FAMILY members or those closest TO you to develop and test you. 

If you've given your heart to Christ and your family either doesn't know Christ or they "say" that they're saved but don't live anything like it, they will most likely have issues with your new love for Christ. They'll say a few of the following:

1. I remember how you used to be, you ain't that saved.

2. So, I guess you think you're better than everyone because you're all holy now?

3. I've been saved for as long as you've been alive, I don't need you to tell me nothing.

4. I just don't believe that God requires that much of you

5. The bible says you gotta honor me and listen to me. (twisted scripture 101) 

Have you experienced the above? If so, I want to remind you of this scripture: 

Matthew 10:35

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.  For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,

a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—  a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ 37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

Do you see that?? Living for Christ WILL naturally separate you from those that don't believe! And God is saying here that we need to make sure that we are allowing HIS voice to trump any other person's voice, including your family members. Your family may say, I've been saved longer than you've been alive and you better obey me or honor me. But if God is tugging on your heart and saying something different, you must obey Him first. If not, then verse 37 above applies to you.

If you're reading this, you may have felt really hurt by a family member. I'm writing to tell you that you're not alone and that your worth doesn't come from even those family members that reject you but from Christ alone. Allow your family members to EXERCISE those love muscles. If you are sitting before God daily, asking Him to develop you, change you & make you into His image, you will get some attacks. The enemy seeks to use whoever he can to distract you & God ALLOWS the tests to come.

Or, you could have a family member that has totally ran away from God or refuses to start a relationship with Him. Remember this: You cannot want salvation for them more than they want it for themselves. 

So, what do you do?

1. Forgive. You have got to let it go. When a person isn't saved, you cannot expect for them to ACT saved. Even if they "say" they are a Christian-- the proof is in the pudding. If that tree has no fruit on it, then it's not a fruit tree. Recognize that they are only living according to their selfish nature. Pray for them instead of complaining about them.

2. Live by example. God placed you in your family to be the "Abraham" or the example. Are you being a living, breathing example or are you cussing everyone out one day & inviting them to bible study the next? Instead of cursing them, pray for them. Ask God to grace you with their personalities.

3. Recognize that God will find them the same way He found you. If they don't listen to God, what makes you think they will listen to you? So, rest. Stop trying to throw the bible at them every five minutes and win people over by your quiet & gentle spirit. (1 Peter 3:4)

4. Separate yourselves from them as needed. You may need to distance yourself from some family members that are negatively influencing you for a season until you're strong enough to be around them. So they're cussing everyday, drinking, smoking and whatever else. Go to a quiet place and pull away. God told Abraham to LEAVE his family & those that were FRAMING his thinking & go to a place where God would show Him. God wanted to frame his thinking.

5. Build an oasis in your home. Maybe you cannot leave your family members house for some reason. But you have to make the best of the situation. When I lived in a 1 bedroom studio in NYC with my roommate, the bathroom was the place where I had my quiet time twice a day. Yes, it was small-- but I didn't care, I needed God's presence working in the industry I worked in and I needed His help. So, create an alter somewhere & put your earphones in, turn worship music on & get on your face before God.

Remember this:
There is a reason that you were placed in your particular family. Whether your upbringing and current situation is good or bad, it's for a reason. So, find the beauty in the reason. Stop wishing that you were in another family and start thanking God for your portion. And remember, a new test will come in regards to your family. Pass it and more than anything, ask the Holy Spirit to lead, guide & direct you. He knows best.

Just a few things:

1.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

3. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out!www.pinkypromiseconference.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 15,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

6. I will be in Orange, NJ next weekend! If you're in the area-- I would love to meet you! My calendar is here: www.heatherllindsey.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey