"God Closing Doors vs. You Opening Them"

You may be in a season where people leave you, job ends, money runs out, things aren’t 100% working out, you’re losing friends or just experiencing loss in general. Gosh, trust me that I understand. I honestly believe I went through that very thing for an entire YEAR. It was the longest year of my life. You really learn who you trust in your darkest hours. I learned that I could lean on and really trust God. He didn’t just become a part of my daily bible ritual—He really became my entire life. I had to cling to Him. It seems like your whole world is caving in and the only One that makes sense is Christ alone. That’s if we decide to turn to Him instead of our circumstances.

I can recall certain situations in life where I tried to stay in a relationship, a job or in a certain place and I just knew deep down that God was closing that door that I desperately kept propped up. I wanted to so badly to stay in those situations—to stay comfortable versus dealing with the fear of the unknown. The fear of being single, the fear of not having enough to pay my bills, the fear of losing loved ones, the fear of not measuring up, the fear of not being good enough or whatever else.  Sometimes, we try to put a comma where God puts a period. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised—God shut those doors. He popped my little pretend-happy bubble. I could have continued to stay in those places and continued those sentences. I could have had a run-on sentence & created an entire storyline.. where God put a period. So, while we’re here—I ask you, do you have any sentences that have continued that you know God ..never intended for you to continue? Most of those sad stories should have never happened. It comes with the territory of ignoring God and living the life we want to live. The heartache, the lies, the abuse, the abortions, the loneliness—you see, God knew these things would come if you stayed around longer then you were supposed to. You couldn’t see those things ahead of time because you were blinded by pretend love, money, status, power, sex, drugs, being comfortable or whatever else. I  DO believe that God does work out things for our good when we live for Him. So don’t beat yourself down if you created an entire storyline.  If you aren’t living for Christ right now, that can change right now. It’s wrapped up in a daily decision to just wake up and live for Him again. God can heal us; no matter how far we’ve fallen away from Him. He longs for your entire heart.

I recall spending the night at my boyfriend’s house when I was single but I would wake up every morning no matter what and would spend hours with God. Sounds weird right? Yeah, one would think that I would start applying what I learned and take my tail home. Anyway,  I continued to spend time with God  & I sat on the guy’s bed and the Lord would show me that I needed to break the relationship off and if I didn’t, it would only get worse. How’s for that? Not long after, we broke up. I was heartbroken but now I understand. God put a period there and it’s not for me to go & try to create some story that should have never been written.  I watched the relationship go downhill. No matter how much I prayed, hoped and wished things would work out or whatever else..The season was over. It was time to move on. Matter of fact, I question the very start of some of my past relationships & situations, those doors were opened by Heather and not Jesus.

You see, those people, jobs, places or whatever else are stumbling blocks. You are tripping over them and falling flat on your face, over and over again. If I placed stumbling blocks in your way as you were walking down the street, you would look at me like I was crazy and walk around them. You would tell me to STOP harassing you and leave you alone. You would say “Heather, clearly I can see that you’re putting huge bricks in my path, I’m not stupid, I’m just going to walk around them—why the heck would I just trip over them and fall flat on my face?”

I believe this question is what all of heaven and the angels ask when we continue in a place where we have stumbling blocks.. and we just keep tripping over them.. over & over again. So, God sends help. He sends blogs, your pastor, your friends, books or whatever else to speak into your heart. Instead, you ignore them and you continue to walk into each block. Doesn’t it sound crazy with that image of me just walking up on you & placing square bricks in your path as you’re walking? You would think I was crazy! Why don’t you feel the same way about satan? And let’s stop blaming him for everything, he sends the stumbling blocks and you have a choice. You don’t have to trip over them. You can trust God & live for HIM in the midst of whatever is going on. Remember that God will give you a way out of every temptation. What temptations are you facing? Sister or Brother, you are NOT alone. ALL of us experience those tests and trials.  I just want to remind you that you don’t need “he” or “it” to make you happy. You really need Christ and if you don’t allow Him to strip you of your idols, you will stay in bondage to those idols forever. Remember that God leads and guides your life. Trust Him, even if your story isn’t playing out the way you intended. He’s with you.

At times, people try to tell me that my life is perfect (and TRUST me, it’s FAR from it!!!!) and that I’ll never understand what they are going through. They say I have the husband, the ministry or whatever else. They see the product of my obedience to Christ but they don’t see the WORK that went into getting where I am today. I just want you to know that I could have a different life story.  Instead of trying to write my own life story, I submitted my life to the One who created me. I have a choice to live for God daily. I could have said “screw this all”—I’m staying with my ex boyfriend, even though God told me to end it. I could have said “Forget reading the bible, this takes too much.” I could have said “Waiting to kiss until my wedding day? PLEASE. I aint waiting that long, I need me some sex.” Do you know that I had a choice in the matter?  I have a choice to write this blog.  I could have said “I’m leaving my marriage at the sign of a first bad argument or whatever else. So please, don’t send me any emails saying that I don’t understand. I was once single, I know and understand the struggles you go through. Where do you think these blogs and my future book is coming from? I’m most passionate about this area of relationships because it’s where I had the most pain. I went through HELL and back as a single. & got serious about my relationship with God and stopped dating randoms & met & married my husband, God’s way. So I challenge you in your own life. YOU HAVE A CHOICE!!!!

....Instead of comparing your life to my life, a pastor, a singer, some reality tv person or whoever else; start comparing yourself to the bible. Take your life and line it up against the bible and use it as a mirror to show you your heart. Let’s not blame anybody else for where we are in life and start taking responsibility for our actions. Granted, you cannot control your life and some of the things that have happened to you but you can control how you respond to them. I want the plan that God has for my life. I don’t want anything outside of it. I want His perfect will so I’ve stopped praying for meaningless, material things and I started praying that my heart would be molded to look like His. So what if I have a couple nice things here & there—what does it mean if my  heart is wicked and hardened towards Him—as a Christian? I just cannot afford it and neither can you. I cannot afford to live this life as a pretend Christ—saying all of these things with my mouth but my heart is so far from Christ. I long to stand before God one day when this is all finished and hear Him say “Well Done my child. Thank you for living for Me & giving me your entire heart.” Oh gosh, it brings tears to my eyes if I lived this whole life and then stood before God and He said that “I never knew you—get away from me as I explained to Him that I preached in His name, wrote books in His name or whatever else.” This is a lot deeper than a blog you’re reading. I believe that God is crying out to you. Crying out to you because He wants to become your first love again. He is so jealous for all of the things and people you place in front of Him. He longs to be first. Please, sister. Brother. Give your entire heart to Him again. Spend time with Him daily and let Him lead you. I can promise you that it won’t be easy but you’ll grow spiritually and the tests & trials will give you endurance and character.

I love you & I’m praying for you.

I am writing this blog as I fly from Dubai to the United States. I was just in Africa for a week spending some time at the orphanage there that we have teamed up with to help support. It was a life changing trip. I will blog about it later and show pictures. I just want to thank everyone who prayed for our team and supported financially. I love you dearly.

Also, my husband just released his first book!! It’s called “So, You Want To be Married?” This book will WRECK you and challenge you as a single or if you’re married. It’s a must read! You can find it here: www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com

Couple usual reminders!

If you want some cute Pinky Promise bracelets, shirts, or journals go here:

If you want to sign up for a local Pinky Promise Group in your area-- go here! There's about 4500 girls in groups all over the world! Pretty awesome! Go here: 

If you want to sign up for the Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta--I would LOVE to see you! More details are here: 

(Me in Ethiopia a couple days ago at the Raey Orphanage-- these babies were SO precious!)

Why won't my MAN change???!

Ever asked yourself WHY the person you were dating or married to won't change?! We have or are currently struggling in this area. Let me tell you a funny (now it's funny, but it wasn't funny then) story.


In 2009 while my husband and I were dating, I had flown to Atlanta to visit him. We were sitting in his driveway talking before I went to my hotel. I told him, look--if you are going to be my one day husband, YOU are gonna have to be like this: .. and I named off my top 25 things that he had to be. ..

How crazy is that?! I put so much pressure on him to be something that he hadn't developed too. I do think that in the Christian church the focus is marriage--as it should be while dating, but before you get there--you have to be friends & get to KNOW the person. On our first date--we knew that we were going to get married one day, so now it was like.. let's talk, let's get to know each other, lets fight & figure this thing out.

 Prayer basically forces not only our husband to change, but us! When we pray, and the more we pray, the more we grow closer to the Holy Spirit, and the more we realize how much we have to change ourselves. He knows us better than we know ourselves and sometimes He is a funny guy and will wait to change our husbands UNTIL WE DECIDE TO let go of the reins and give it up to Him. Don't get frustrated, stay praying at ALL times, and TRUST that He can change your man. 
So, you're probably thinking.."pray, pray, pray.. I'm TIRED of prayin' for that sorry man, he just won't change!!" Let me encourage you.. I remember the first couple years of my husband & I's relationships (Mind you, we've only been together for 3 years in total) He was the LEAST affectionate person ever. I wanted to rip my hair out because my love language was TOUCH! So I used to complain, we'd argue, & on & on.. Then I got the revelation. If I just shut my mouth & give him an opportunity to be affectionate I could REALLY let God do the work that I'm "supposed" to believe that He is doing. So, I scaled back. I shut my mouth, and I started to really rest in God concerning my needs being met (esp. after we got married--cuz that's when you can do the most touchin'! :)) So I started to SAY what I wanted to see over my husband. I called those things that be not as though they were. Every morning in my quiet time I went before God covering him in prayer and saying what I desired to see.. 


"Lord, I thank you that Cornelius has a heart after you! I declare that He is whole & complete in you and that he has the very mind of Christ. I say that he thinks on good things and guards his eye and ear gates. He only speaks life and thinks on good things. I declare that he sits amongst kings and that he is about his father's business. I declare that he loves me like Christ loves the church & that he is constantly dying to himself. He is affectionate, compassionate & caring. He only has eyes for me. He's a great leader over our home and is a skilled businessman. Cornelius is healthy physically and has strong conviction concerning the food he eats (he's come a LONG way! So proud of him!), He loves to work out and he is not only physically fit but spiritually fit as well... (and I go on & on)


  .. this is just an example of my daily covering but I want to encourage YOU to do the same!! Just keep believing the best & don't quit. This area applies to any area of your life...from work, to your boss, family members, etc. WHILE you are praying for THEM, God will begin to show you your heart & where you need to change. He showed me that  I was selfish and way too focused on my needs being met. So I took my eyes off of what my husband was or wasn't doing & I really put them on Jesus. I served my husband as though he was Christ (.. for if you have done it to the least of them, you have done it to me..)


And I look back and I'm so thankful & so grateful. My husband is so compassionate, caring, sweet, kind, understanding, affectionate and so many other wonderful things! He is a CHANGED man from those first few rough months. So stick it out. Don't nag. Allow God to change your mate, because in all honesty, you really can't. And if he does change for you, it will only be via will power & temporary or to shut you up. I know it's hard to hear that.. but it's true. Practice resting. God know's your mate, He created them.. & has your best interest in mind. 

Love you all & speak only life!
Heather